Something Forever(37)

“It’s not your fault, Becca,” I whispered in her ear. Switching positions, Becca was now facing me, her whole body was engulfed in my arms.

“It is my fault,” she muttered into my sweater. “I could have prevented it. I could have done so many things differently, but I didn’t. It’s my fault. Amber didn’t die alone.”

At this point Becca was sobbing. I could tell how much she was hurting from the guilt and the loss of her friend. Her pain traveled inside of me. Whatever she felt, I felt it, too. That’s how much I cared and loved her. That’s how much she meant to be. I would do anything to mend her pain and hurt, anything to make it right for her.

But...something stone cold struck me. My heart started thumping harder against my chest and my muscles became stiff. I couldn’t move. For some strange reason, Becca’s last words felt like a slap on my face. Amber didn’t die alone. My eyes shifted from the ground to the headstone. I hadn’t paid attention to what was written on it since I was standing behind Becca, trying to give her some privacy.

When Becca had told me her friend passed away on the same date as Tessa, I thought, ‘What a coincidence’. There were billions of people on this planet, surely many people died on the same date. Yet when I traced Amber’s full name with my eyes, I thought I was going to drop dead. Amber James kept echoing in my mind. Surely it couldn’t be the same person. Could it?

I didn’t know what came over me, but tears blinded my eyes. My grip on Becca loosened. I dropped down to my knees. Oh God! Please don’t let it be true. I needed answers...fast, but not here.

“Matthew...Matthew...what’s wrong?”

I felt my body shake and my name echoed in my head...until I finally came to. “Becca, I need to take you home. Now!”





Chapter 15

Becky



I wasn’t sure what the problem was or what had triggered Matthew’s sudden anger, but I didn’t want to add to it, so I kept my mouth shut and got in the car. Matthew didn’t even look at me or say a word. In fact, the drive back to my place was dead silent. I wanted to ask him questions, but the cold stone look on his face made me so nervous that I dare not say a word.

Replaying the words I had said to him didn’t help make me understand his actions. Matthew had been so loving and supportive while we were there until he saw something or remembered something, causing him to drop to his knees. Flabbergasted, I tried to remain calm and steady my heartbeat, but my stomach was doing nasty somersaults, and the acid feeling inside of my chest was only building.

“Matthew, what’s wrong? What happened back there?” I finally asked, starting to feel a little ticked off seeing him pacing back and forth in deep thought. His lips were parting and closing; I could tell he was trying to tell me something, but it never came out. Now I was beyond annoyed. Sitting uncomfortably on the sofa, I stared at him hard, as if that would make him snap out of it. I had never seen him like this before, but enough was enough. “Matthew, what the hell happened? You can’t just shut down on me like that.”

Matthew stopped in front of me, peering down at me. Either he looked really concerned or really scared...I couldn’t tell which one. “What happened the night your friend died?”

Where was he going with this? “I already told you. She drove wasted and died from a car accident. I was—”

Matthew dropped to his knees to meet me at my eye level and interrupted, “You’re hiding something. You didn’t finish the story, did you?”

My eyes flickered back and forth; I couldn’t look at him. “I’m not hiding anything.”

“How did Amber die?” Matthew’s tone was calm, but I felt goose bumps up my arms. It was the way he had asked, like he knew. Surely he couldn’t have.

“I already told you. What the fuck, Matthew? What is wrong with you?” I stammered, standing up to walk away, but Matthew gripped my arm.

“Sit down.” His tone was cold and demanding.

Under other circumstances I would have told him to screw himself and walked away, but I listened. Clearly something was bothering him. When I sat, Matthew sat on the floor with his knees tucked in. “Please answer with the truth. What do you mean ‘she didn’t die alone’? Did your friend, Amber James, kill someone the night of her accident?”

How could he possibly freakin’ know? Not even Jenna knew. And there was no way Jenna would spill the beans if she did. Regardless, I needed to tell him the truth. Oh God! Now I remembered. My tongue had slipped at the gravesite. Maybe it would do some good to get it off my chest. Matthew would understand. Amber was right. I had always been a chicken shit.