Something Forever(36)

When Becca stiffened and pulled her hand away from mine, I knew I had said something to offend her. “I didn’t mean—”

“I know,” Becca cut me off. “It’s nothing.”

When we stopped at a red light, I examined her from the corner of my eyes. She was not her usual friendly self. In fact, she was jumpy and fidgety, as if she was trying to hide a secret. The sound of plastic crinkling from the bouquet of flowers was irritating. Becca couldn’t stop messing with it. Looking deep in thought, she had no idea what she was doing until I took her hand away from it.

“Sorry. I was just thinking,” she said when she finally realized her repeated gestured.

“That’s okay.” I paused to turn right. “We’re here.”

I didn’t know why, but going to gravesites filled me with both dread and serenity. Looking to my left and right, there were many fresh flowers. It indicated that their loved ones had visited recently.

“Turn left, up ahead,” Becca said. “I think that’s it.”

After I did as instructed, I parked. “Here?” I asked.

Becca glanced around and nodded. “Yes. I remember those two trees. It’s been a while, but I never forget those trees.”

I had no idea what she meant. “Those trees” she was talking about looked exactly the same as any other trees. Women, go figure. Opening the passenger’s door, I helped her out of the car. Becca looked up to the sky before she took a step. I looked up, too—curious as to why she did—but all I saw were puffy clouds. Perhaps she was saying a little prayer. Who knew? However, I didn’t ask. Now was not the time to ask what she was thinking. I could just imagine because I had been in the same situation before. The first time coming back to the gravesite after the funeral was always the hardest, no matter how many years had passed.

Following Becca on the grass, I stopped when she did. Little did Becca know that I had planned to come here late that afternoon to meet up with Tessa’s sister, Teresa. Visiting Tessa at her gravesite was my plan, but Teresa had called that morning asking to meet with me. I had put off telling Becca because I knew how distraught she was about coming here. I didn’t want to add any more stress on her plate.

“This is Amber,” Becca said, looking at me for direction. She appeared uneasy.

I weaved behind her and held her lightly from the back. My hands slipped around her waist and bent lower to rest my chin on her shoulder. “Say hi. She can hear you.” Could she really? Who knew? Regardless, talking to Tessa as if she was there helped me, and I knew it would help Becca, too.

“Hi, Amber. I brought Matthew with me.” Becca’s tone became shaky. After she cleared her throat and her shoulders lifted from taking in a deep breath, she continued, “I’m sorry that it took me so long to come see you. I was a chicken shit.” Becca let out a soft laugh; that made me smile. “Amber used to call me chicken shit,” Becca informed me.

“Nice friend,” I commented sarcastically while rolling my eyes. “Go on.”

“I have a new roommate, but you probably already knew that. Her name is Jenna. We were like two opposites, but now I think her goodness rubbed off on me. She doesn’t call me chicken shit. She actually influences me to be a better person. I’m not saying anything bad about you, but we did some crazy, wild things together.”

“Really?”

Becca nudged me with her elbow, gesturing me to keep comments to myself. “We were in college,” she said quickly. “That’s the time to experiment.”

“True.” I kissed her cheek and squeezed her a little bit tighter on her waist.

Becca grunted when she felt the pressure. Releasing a sigh, she continued, “Matthew, who is a leech on my back right now, is the best thing that has ever happened to me. You’ll be happy to know that Matthew is not an asshole and I am officially not an asshole magnet any longer.”

I rocked us from side to side, letting her know how much I appreciated her words. “I’m glad you don’t think I’m an asshole,” I added quickly.

“Shhh. I’m still talking.” Becca laughed. “I wish you could meet him in person. He’s truly a gentleman, more than I could ever have expected. Sometimes I don’t think I deserve him.” She paused. “Matthew is really good to me, unlike any of the guys you’ve seen me date, but fate took you away so soon. And I’m so sorry that I didn’t force you to get out of the car. I should have yanked you out...or taken your car keys, anything to stop you from driving.”

Becca’s hand reached for her face to stop the tears from falling. Seeing her like this not only made my heart ache, but made me sad for her. However, I also knew that once she passed this stage, she would learn to forgive and let go. There would be closure, and no one understood that better than me.