So. Long(201)

My stomach tightens as he takes another step closer.

“Buck, I don’t know what you want, but—”

“Well, let me break this down for you, Lou. All I want is you.”

I stumble backward. My heart struggles to catch its balance as much as my body does. Instinct tells me to throw myself into his arms.

Instinct is wrong.

Instinct is what got me into this ridiculous position in the first place.

So, I do what I’ve learned is sometimes necessary. I ignore instinct. Instead, I use my head, not the organ currently flopping around in my chest like a dying fish.

“Too fucking bad. You can’t have me, Buck. Been there. Done that. Even have the stupid T-shirt. Fool me once and all that shit.”

“Give me another chance, Lou. Hell, I didn’t even realize how much I’ve missed you until I saw you again. Maybe you’ll find out that you’ve missed me too.” He steps closer, his hand out as though he expects me to take it.

And hell if I don’t want to take it. I do, but I can’t let myself—I worked too hard to get over him to fall into that trap.

I pull my shoulders back, look him in the eye, and lie. “Well, I haven’t missed you. Not since I grew the fuck up and realized you weren’t worth the salt in my piss. You weren’t then. You aren’t now.”

He doesn’t even blink. “You’re probably right. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting you.”

His hand snakes out and his arm circles my waist before I can dodge him. He yanks me close. My hands go to his arms, his biceps rock hard and flexing beneath my fingers. His heart thumps against my chest. Mine answers, because I’ve always wanted him. Since the first time I became aware of him as a man and not just my friend, I’ve craved his touch. But—

That ain’t going to work.

“Don’t you kiss me, Buck. I’m warning you.” I lean away from him, but his arms tighten.

He lets out a little laugh and dips his head, his lips grazing mine. His hands smooth down to cup my ass, squeezing and pulling me tighter to his hardening groin. An overwhelming sensation of déjà vu floods my fraying senses as his tongue sweeps in, his mouth teasing with a little nip.

It takes only the smallest taste for my body to remember what else Buck can do with that tongue, and warm wetness slips to my pussy as desire swamps me. But I’m not some hormonal teenager this time around. I won’t be as willing a participant as the first time. His tongue darts in again, and I seize the opportunity to teach him a lesson when I do more than nip.

He pulls back, a hand flying to his mouth. “What the fuck, Lou? Why the hell did you bite me?”

I extricate myself from his embrace, my traitorous heart pounding. “Next time a girl says not to kiss her, you should listen.”

He dabs the end of his tongue with his finger-tip, pulling it away to look—for blood? Good.

“Well, I didn’t know you’d bite me. I kinda thought you expected me to kiss you.”

I step backward, hands propped on my hips. “You’re such a colossal asshat, Buck. No doesn’t mean yes, ever. You’re a big boy. You should’ve learned that by now.”

He throws his hands in the air. “Well, of course, I know that. But you said the exact same thing to me a few years ago, and, that time, when I let you go, you grabbed my shirt and laid one on me.”

Shit.

He’s right.

Heat rushes up and over my face. Good thing it’s dark and he can’t see my embarrassment.

Fuck it. I don’t have the energy for this crap.

I turn toward the staircase. “Okay. You’re right. I’m sorry—I’d forgotten about that. Oops.”

“Oops? That’s all, just oops?”

I shrug and haul my ass up the steps.

He watches me, not making a move to leave, to follow, to do anything.

I call down to him. “Goodnight, Buck.”

Once inside, the trembling takes over as I rush to my room. I sink onto the edge of the bed, hands covering my flushed face.

Fuck. I can’t believe I said that. What was I thinking?

It all rushes back—that moment I thought I’d successfully stuffed so far into the recesses of my memory that I wouldn’t have to visit it again. Guess not.

On the road heading out of town, I dragged my ratty backpack behind me, the corner of my biology book scraping the ground where it peeked out of the hole in the bottom. Suddenly, the strap was pulled from my grasp.

Buck slung it onto his shoulder over his own book bag. “Why do you look like someone kicked your puppy?”

I turned away so he wouldn’t see the tears gathered in my eyes. “Nothing.”

He bumped my arm with his elbow. “C’mon, Lou, don’t give me that shit.”