Smiley (New Species #13)(48)

Smiley regretted admitting that immediately when he saw Vanni’s expression. He’d gone too far with the honesty. He felt her tense under his touch. He stopped stroking her cheek and took her hands again, refusing to let her go. 
“It was after I returned to Homeland with the drug still in my system. A female thought I was suffering. I was but I didn’t want her. Even in pain, I only want you. Please don’t get upset.”
“Was it Cindy?”
He frowned. “No. Why do you think that?”
“You two seemed friendly. She’s cute.”
Was she jealous? It made him happy. It meant she felt possessive of him. That was good. “I’ve never touched Cindy in that way. She works for the NSO and has showed no interest in me. She is attracted to a male who lives at Reservation. She watches him when he isn’t looking. Some of us have noticed. It was a Species female who is a friend of mine.”
“You’ve had sex with her?”
He flinched. “It isn’t anything serious. We’re not involved in a relationship. Species females hardly ever share sex with the same male within a short time span. It’s complicated but there isn’t a romantic element involved.”
“But you’ve slept with her?”
Vanni appeared confused and he understood. She was unfamiliar with his kind and very naïve. He needed to explain. “Sex can just be for pleasure and to feel linked to another person for a short time. In your world I believe the term is booty calls. Species females hook up with males when they wish to share sex but they aren’t dating or involved the way humans have romantic relationships. We have friendships and also share sex sometimes. You and I have more than that. I’ve never shared sex with a female and wanted to mate her. Only you, Vanni. You’re special to me. Please believe that. I won’t ever share sex with anyone else but you.”
She looked uncertain. “So you won’t sleep with her again?”
“No. Never.”
She stared into his eyes, seeming to search for the truth. He kept eye contact. “Okay.”
Relief spread through him. He needed to think before he spoke. “What are your other fears?”
“I don’t want to have a long-distance relationship.”
“Nor do I.”
“What about when you are working? Are you ever gone for weeks?”
“You go where I go. Mates stay together. I’m sent to Reservation from time to time but I could refuse if you wish to stay here. It’s not mandatory for me to travel between both locations. We have the option to say no. It’s respected. Species want other Species to be happy. They will work around our needs. We just have to live at the NSO. It’s too dangerous in your world. We had a male who lived in the out world and he was kidnapped with his female. Your family and friends can visit.” He glanced around at the living room. “They’d be comfortable here, wouldn’t they?” He held her gaze.
She nodded. “Yes.”
“Being with me doesn’t mean you have to give up the other people you love. It just would be safer for them to spend time with you here, behind our walls.” He hesitated. “It could be an issue with them though.”
“They aren’t prejudiced.”
“Our enemies are. You’ve already been linked to me though. The damage has been done. We’ll do everything we can to protect them.”
He hated the way worry crinkled the corners of her eyes. “I will say that the few mates who have family and friends in the out world didn’t have too much difficulty after the first few weeks. The media coverage died down and they have been left alone.”
“That’s good. Especially since everyone I’m close to is already in hiding from the Woods Church and the media.”
“Very true.” He waited for her to express other objections. She was thinking. He could almost see the wheels of her mind spinning. It was cute how easy she was to read. She locked on to something because she gripped his hands a little tighter, staring intently at him but said nothing.“What is it?”
“I wanted to have kids one day. Would you consider allowing me to carry a baby? We could go to a doctor and set it up. They’d use donated sperm from someone to impregnate me in a surgical setting. I know it wouldn’t be biologically your child since you can’t have them but would you think about it? Is it possible that you could love a baby that is created that way? I would adopt a baby if I wasn’t able to carry one of my own. I’d love it anyway. Could you?”
Her rushed words poured out, stunning Smiley. She gasped a breath before he could respond.
“I know it’s asking a lot but I really want to be a mother one day. It’s part of the reason I agreed to marry Carl. I’m not saying we need to do it right away but I want that option. I love my niece and nephews. I didn’t give birth to them but I want that. Children. A family. With you.”
His gut tightened and emotion choked him. She wanted babies with him one day and to become a family. It was a dream of his as well.
“Too much to ask? I’m sorry. I know some men are weird about that.” She tried to tug her hands away, a resigned look on her face.
He clasped them tightly, refusing to let go. “Vanni, we can have children.”
She blinked. “Are you just saying that? It wouldn’t bother you raising a baby or two that is all human?”
He leaned in and brushed his lips over hers. He released her hands and rose to take a seat on the couch next to her. She watched him. He just turned and lifted her, putting her across his lap. She allowed it but he could see he’d surprised her. He held her close and kept eye contact.
“I was hesitant to tell you this after what the Woods Church told you. We want to live in peace with humans. We never want to take over the world. Running the NSO is difficult enough. Do you believe that?”
She nodded.
“They fear us but there’s no reason to. A lot of the ones who hate us are waiting for us to die. They think Species are a blight with a limited time on their Earth. Mercile attempted to breed us but it never worked. We’re still trying to figure out why but since we were freed some children have been born.”
He could see her confusion.
“We hide them from your world. We fear for their safety. The male I told you about who lived in your world and who was taken with his female were kidnapped for a reason. They wanted to use her against him to make him do as they demanded. It seems there’s a black market for Species babies—as exotic pets. Do you understand our fears and horror? They want to enslave our children the way we were. They stole the male to attempt to figure out how to create more.”
“Oh god.”
“They would steal our children and sell them. Worse, some would wish them killed outright to prevent Species from multiplying and having a future. Morons like the members of Woods Church would spread their fear that we’ll overrun the humans. It’s not true. We just want to live in peace.” 
Tears filled her eyes but she blinked them back.
“I trust you with their lives by telling you this, Vanni. You can’t share this news with anyone without endangering the Species children. There aren’t many, but some. It’s possible for me to get you pregnant if we’re both in good health and blessed. My genetics are stronger than yours. The question isn’t whether I would be willing to be father to a human child. More importantly, would you be willing to mother a Species child? He would look like me, a primate. All our children are born male. It’s the way we were created in Mercile’s laboratories.”
“I’ll never tell and I’d love to have kids that are just like you.”
Warmth spread through his chest, as well as an overriding sense of relief when she smiled. No deceit showed and he knew he could trust her words. “I want you to be my mate, Vanni. I want to spend the rest of my life with you in my arms. I’ll marry you in an official human ceremony. I know you will want that.”
“That doesn’t matter to me.”
He scowled. “It’s important to all humans.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and he liked the way she rested her head against his shoulder. It proved she trusted him when she snuggled closer. “I got kind of sick of making wedding plans. It burned me out. Would you elope with me?”
“What is that? I’ll do it but you need to tell me what to do first.”
She chuckled. “You would do it, huh? What if it’s something horrible?”
“I’ll still do it for you if it makes you happy.”
She eased her hold on his shoulders and cupped his face. Her kiss was welcome when she planted her lips on his. He tried to deepen it but she pulled back though she stayed close.
“Elope means we run away together and just get married. Sometimes you invite a few close friends. I don’t want a big wedding. It would remind me of the nightmare with Carl.”
“Where would you like to elope to? I’ll arrange it.” She was saying yes. He’d make it happen. “We have a helicopter and we’ll take a security detail.”
“We could do it here. I don’t care where. It’s just supposed to be somewhere pretty and private so we can enjoy doing it together.”
“Reservation,” he decided. “I know the exact spot. Would that be okay?”