Sleigh Bells in the Snow(119)
His heart lifted and hope, ruthlessly suppressed, broke free.
Then she curled her fingers into her palm and shook her head. “I can’t.” The words were a whisper, and she pressed her hand to her mouth. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t.”
For the first time in his life he knew how it felt to be desperate. “I know you’re scared, I know on the surface it seems like a risky decision, but I love you, and that isn’t going to change. I’m know I’m asking you to walk away from the safe option, but always choosing the safe option stops you reaching for something more. Is that really the way you want to live?”
She was silent and then finally she looked up at him, her eyes blank. “It’s exactly the way I want to live. It’s the only way I know how to live. I’m sorry, Jackson. I—I really am sorry, but I can’t. I have to go back to New York.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
THE CAB ARRIVED at 8:00 a.m.
The snow was already falling heavily, and Kayla lifted her face to it, knowing now that snow was good for the business. Snow meant skiers, and skiers meant money for Snow Crystal.
“Better hurry, lady.” The driver threw her bags into the trunk, and Kayla tucked Maple inside her coat.
She’d spent the night alone on the shelf with just the puppy for company. She’d waited for Jackson, her emotions fluctuating between relief and disappointment when he hadn’t come.
She didn’t blame him. He’d put everything out there, and she hadn’t even met him halfway.
How could she?
What he was suggesting wasn’t just ridiculous, it was terrifying.
She wondered if Elizabeth had known what had happened. Had Jackson told her?
The cab stopped at the main house and she slid out, still holding Maple. For a crazy moment she wondered if she could have a dog in her apartment in New York, and then she realized she didn’t want any dog—she wanted this dog and there was no way the O’Neils would part with the puppy. She was as much a member of the family as Jess or Alice, and the O’Neils didn’t consider family members disposable. Even when life was tough, they stuck together.
She walked down the path, steady this time in her beautiful new boots, and paused for a moment to stare at the mistletoe bunched above the door before ringing the bell. There was nothing romantic about mistletoe, she reminded herself.
Mistletoe was poisonous.
The door opened. Walter stood there along with Elizabeth, Tyler and Jess.
Kayla forced herself to hand Maple over to Elizabeth. “Thank you. For being so welcoming, for listening to me, for the necklace—” She reached forward and embraced the other woman, and Elizabeth hugged her back.
“You have such an exciting future. We’re proud of you, dear, so proud.”
Oh, God—
No one had ever said that to her. No one.
“Keep those knives away from Élise in the kitchen.” She pulled away before she made a fool of herself, but then Walter stepped forward and hugged her.
And she hugged him back, surprised by the strength in his bony frame, thinking that this man was as much a part of Snow Crystal as the mountains and the snow. “I’ve set up some interviews. You’re going to be a star, Walter.” Her voice was croaky. “Just don’t scare them too much.”
“You’d better come back and keep me in line. And do it soon.” Patting her back, he released her and cleared his throat. “Alice isn’t good with goodbyes. She’s inside. You could give her a wave.”
Alice was standing in the window holding her knitting, the lights from the Christmas tree glowing behind her.
Deciding she wasn’t good at goodbyes, either, Kayla waved and Elizabeth pressed a small package into her hand.
“A few gingerbread Santas. In case you’re hungry on the journey.”
“You’re not going to cry, are you?” Tyler drawled. “Because if there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s a sobbing woman.”
“Dad!” Rolling her eyes, Jess gave Kayla an awkward smile. “Come back soon so you can teach me to skate.”
Tyler winked and stepped forward to give her a warm hug. “Take care of yourself. Place isn’t going to be the same without seeing you lying flat on your back in the snow every time I turn a corner.” He lowered his voice. “Jackson’s taken the groomer up one of the trails. He said he’ll catch up with you soon.”
In other words he hadn’t wanted to see her.
And she couldn’t blame him for that.
He’d offered her everything, and she’d given him nothing in return. Nothing except her skills at her job, and they both knew that was something she gave freely to anyone with the money to pay Innovation the going rate.