Sinful Nights(63)

But yes, he had. She could see it in the bleak grey eyes watching her  with hard determination. He was a wealthy and successful single man with  a young daughter to bring up. No doubt he had been the victim of some  degree of matchmaking, but that was no reason for him to think that she  …

The red tints in her chestnut hair weren't there for nothing; her  temper, normally well controlled and kept in check, refused to be  subdued. She opened her mouth to tell him just what she thought of him  and his insinuations, but found the hot words stifled in her throat as  he suddenly forestalled her and demanded icily,

Have I made myself clear, Mrs Richards?'

He was standing up now. Business concluded, interview over, Claire thought acidly.

Explicitly,' she told him in a voice as cold as his own, a spark of  rage intensifying the greeny gold of her eyes. Although she didn't know  it, her anger had left a soft flush staining her cheekbones, and had  brought a slight quiver to her mouth. She looked more vulnerable than  fierce, but since she could not see her own expression she was unaware  of the reason for the cynical and faintly brooding expression in those  cold grey eyes,

However, even if she didn't know the reason for it, she knew that it  existed and that was enough to make her say bitingly, I assure you you  have nothing to fear from me. I'm no more in the market for a husband  than you are for a wife, Mr Fraser. Believe me, a man in my life is the  very last thing I want. Lucy and I are perfectly happy as we are.' Her  flush deepened betrayingly as she saw the way he looked around her small  and rather shabbily furnished sitting-room, and instinctively her  fingers curled into her palms. One of the disadvantages of being only  five-foot-one was that people sometimes tended to forget that she was a  fully grown adult. The look Jay Fraser was turning on her now was one he  might have given a slightly dim adolescent. Maybe her home wasn't much  by his standards, but she loved it, and whatever he might choose to  think there was no way she would ever want to change it for something  like Whitegates.

Her resentment against him incited her onwards.

If you must know, I invited Heather to come back and have tea with us because I felt sorry for her.'

She had got him on the raw there, she saw with a pleasurable stab of satisfaction.

Oh, I can see you find that hard to believe, Mr Fraser. Heather might  have all the comforts a wealthy father can provide, but a busy  businessman doesn't always have time for the little cares and worries of  a small child. Mrs Roberts didn't strike me as a particularly  sympathetic mother-substitute  … ' She took a deep breath and then rushed  on, In fact it seemed to me that Heather is frightened of her.'    

 



 

She saw from the white line of rage circling his mouth that he was furious with her.

Heather doesn't need your pity,' he told her sharply, and now if you  wouldn't mind calling her in for me, I think it's time that both I and  my daughter left.'

It was perhaps unfortunate that Heather chose to give her a brief and  very shy hug before she left, but there was no way she was going to  reject the little girl's hesitant affection, Claire told herself as she  bent down to hug her back. She didn't like the bitter glance that Jay  Fraser gave her as he took Heather's hand and led her away, but if he  thought he could simply walk into her house and insult her the way he  had  …

It was perhaps just as well that tomorrow was Saturday, she reflected  later, listening to Lucy's chatter as she got her ready for bed. The  little girl was full of her new friend and all the things they were  going to do together, happily oblivious to the fact that her new  friend's father was probably telling his daughter right at this moment  that the friendship was over.

In a way his insinuations were almost laughable. Any sort of involvement  with any man was so totally opposite to what she wanted  …

There had only ever been one sexual experience in her life, and that had  led to Lucy's conception, and while Claire loved her child with all her  heart, the manner of her conception was something that still caused her  nightmares. She had no desire for any sort of intimacy with a man;  quite the opposite, and so for her, marriage was something that was  completely out. Her fear and abhorrence of sex went very deep and was  something she normally avoided thinking about. It was less painful that  way.

After Lucy's birth her doctor had suggested some sort of counselling,  but she had refused. She hadn't been able to bear to discuss her  feelings with anyone. She couldn't even examine them in the privacy of  her own thoughts.

On Saturday morning Claire had to call at the post office to buy some  more eggs. They were delivered fresh each day from one of the local  farms, and were a relatively inexpensive and nourishing source of  healthy food for both her and Lucy. Fortunately the little girl adored  them, and Claire left her examining the treats on the sweet counter  while she went to pay for her purchases.

She was just moving away from the counter when she recognised one of her  neighbours standing in the queue behind her-nothing moved quickly in  the post office; it was the local centre for receiving and sorting  gossip.

Her neighbour was an overweight, untidy woman in her late sixties with a  faintly overbearing manner. She had come round to introduce herself  just after they had moved in, and had almost immediately informed Claire  that she was likely to have a problem with her roof. It seemed that  most of the cottages had had their roof timbers and slates replaced the  previous winter, and that Claire's had been one of the few that had not.  She herself had already noticed several loose slates, and she was still  worrying about the horrendous expense that would be involved.

Now Mrs Turner smiled eagerly at her and commented in a loud voice,  Wasn't that the little Fraser girl I saw you with yesterday? Poor  little scrap; I feel so sorry for her, poor little mite, rattling around  in that great big house, with no one but Amy Roberts for company. And  she's never been one for children. Of course, her father really should  get married again. She needs a mother, that's as plain as the nose on  your face.'

Speculation gleamed in the pale blue eyes, and Claire had to fight down an impulse to be rude to her.

Heather and Lucy are at school together,' she said instead, forcing  what she hoped was a careless smile. You know how it is with little  girls of that age: a new "best friend" every week.'

She knew quite well that the entire queue was listening, and she only  hoped that they picked up the message she was giving out. She could just  imagine Jay Fraser's reaction if it got back to him that they were the  subject of village gossip.

Luckily Lucy had grown bored with the sweet tray, and so Claire was able to escape from the shop.

It was a pleasantly warm late summer day and she intended to spend it  working in the garden. The old lady who lived next door to her had  complained during the week that she no longer had the energy to maintain  her own garden, and Claire had tentatively offered to take charge of it  for her.

In response, Mrs Vickers had thanked her and agreed, but had insisted that Claire had her pick of the raspberries and plums.

For lunch, Claire had made Lucy's favourite ice cream with some of their  own strawberries, and on an impulse she took a covered bowl of the  sweet round to her older neighbour.    

 



 

Knowing how proud and independent older people could be she was touched  by the enthusiasm with which Mrs Vickers accepted her gift.

Home-made ice cream-I love it,' the old lady told her with a shy smile.  My stepmother used to make it for us  … ' She sighed faintly. Why is it  that the older one gets, the more one returns to the past? There were  five of us, you know, three girls and two boys. Our mother died having a  sixth. When our father first brought Mary home and told us she was  going to be our new mother I hated her. She was less than fifteen years  older than I was myself, but she was so patient with us, and so kind.  Very modern in her ways too. She insisted that my father let us girls  stay on at school, and never made us do more in the house than the  boys-and housework was hard in those days. She had three children of her  own to look after as well as us five. All that washing  …  and the  cooking! My father used to come home for his lunch, and he expected a  three-course meal on the table  …  and another at night. But she was  always cheerful. I see you had young Heather Fraser round yesterday.  Poor little thing. If ever anyone needed mothering it was her.'

Claire, who had been listening to the old lady's reminiscences with interest, tensed slightly.

Heather has a mother, Mrs Vickers,' she pointed out coolly.

She has someone who calls herself her mother,' corrected Mrs Vickers  stubbornly. Never gave a thought to her from the moment she was born,  she didn't. Always off out, leaving the baby with anyone she could get  to look after her, and once she met that American  …  Many's the time her  father's come into the village to buy the poor child something for her  tea because her mother'd gone out without feeding her.'