Silent No More(7)

Once in my room, I place my purse on the bedside table; I need a hot shower. I don’t have any clean clothes and putting back on the ones I’m currently wearing is not an option. Dirty underwear is gross and something I don’t do.

Shit!

I grab my phone from my purse. Taking a seat at the head of the bed, tucking my left leg underneath my butt, I look at the display; I have thirty-plus missed calls and seventeen text messages. A few of the calls are from Luke and Allison, but most are from Katelyn and Stacy.

I press Katelyn’s number from my missed call list first. Less than three seconds after it starts to ring, I hear Stacy’s voice screaming at me. “Are you okay? Where the hell are you?”

I smile at my friend’s concern. Apparently, she’s spoken to Allison, but I don’t want to think about that bitch right now. “Slow the eff down, Stace. One question at a time, please.”

I hear her huff and imagine she is trying to calm herself down. Stacy excites very easily. “Well,” she draws out. “Are you okay?” Stacy doesn’t pause to let me answer which is good because I don’t have any intention of getting into a serious conversation over the phone. “Allison called last night. I just don’t want to believe it,” she sighs out.

I ignore what she has just said. I don’t want to discuss Allison or what happened yet. I don’t even know how I feel. I only want clean clothes, and she is my source of getting them. “Do you have to work today? I really need some clean clothes.”

Knowing Stacy as well as I do, I can imagine she’s getting irritated that I’m dodging what she is after, but I don’t care.

“Yes, but not until later this afternoon,” she tells me. “You didn’t answer my question,” she says, stating the obvious.

“Good. Can you bring me some of Katelyn’s clothes, and we will talk when you get here? I’m at The Cove, room 704,” I tell her while adjusting the pillows behind me.

“Sure, but what’s wrong with my clothes?” she asks in a tone that tells me I have offended her. I roll my eyes. Like she doesn’t know! No one can fit into the tiny pieces of material she wears as clothes.

“Nothing, except everything you own is either a size zero or extra small, you skinny bitch. It’s not going to happen when I’m a size eight,” I say adding a playful laugh, trying to lighten the conversation.

“Point taken,” Stacy snorts. “It’s good to hear you laugh, Shannon. We were worried about you when you didn’t answer any of our calls or texts last night.”

Finally, I give her the answer she wants, but I keep it short because this is not a conversation I want to have over the phone. It’s not a conversation I want to have at all. I wish I could make it all disappear. I just don’t want to deal with any of the shit today or even tomorrow. God, I hate him for doing what he did. “I’m okay; now put your ass in gear and get over here. Please don’t take all day!” I shout in the sternest voice I can muster.

“Okay!” she shouts back. “Is there anything in particular of hers you want me to bring? I can be there in about an hour.”

“Jeans if possible, but nothing dressy or sloppy. Thanks,” I say and hang up. I still need clean underwear so I dial the concierge desk asking for the cleaning service to come pick up my clothes for a wash. A nice sounding man tells me that service will be up in ten minutes. I hang up and quickly strip out of all my clothes. I place them in a garment bag and set them just outside the door. After shutting the door, I head for the bathroom.

Entering the spacious room, I turn the shower on to hot. As I wait for the right temperature, I reach for the new toothbrush resting in its holster. I apply toothpaste and silently say a thank you to management for this hotel supplying all the required toiletries one needs to freshen up.

As I begin brushing my teeth, steam from the shower starts to filter in the bathroom; I know the water is perfect. I get in after rinsing the toothpaste out of my mouth.

I stand under the water letting everything wash away from the previous day. My tense shoulders quickly relax under the heat of the water, and surprisingly, I feel great. I should feel like shit after yesterday and drinking last night, but oddly, I think I’m relieved. I’m not sure why that is, or what that really means. Seeing Luke and Allison the way I did hurt, a lot, but not in the way I think it should have. Maybe that means I’m not in love with Luke anymore. Was I ever? I don’t think two people who are in love can just fall out of love.

They certainly don’t cheat.

Two people who are truly made for each other can get through anything life can throw, except cheating. Perhaps some people might be able to get past something like that, but I can’t, and I won’t. For me, there are no second chances or forgiveness from that.