Shadowed(124)
“I do,” Maggie said at once. “I’ll be happy to bring them as soon as Nina finishes.”
“Thanks, Maggie.” Lauren smiled. “I’ll see you in a bit. I have to make sure every little thing is perfect with the cake topper. You have no idea how hard it was to find one with one bride and two grooms.”
Nina smiled. “I can just imagine.” She waved as Lauren walked off and then got back to work on the signs.
“Well…” Lissa had just finished sweeping up the last of the glass from Maggie’s earlier accident. “It looks like everything is online for the joining ceremony. I hope Saber will get here on time—he promised to try and make it.”
Nina felt her heart twist. If only Reddix would come too! No, she scolded herself. He’s not coming, and you’re better off without him.
“I hope he makes it too,” she said, smiling at her friend. “I’m sure it’s going to be a beautiful ceremony.”
* * * * *
“It’s going to be a beautiful ceremony,” Saber said, pulling on his flight jacket. “And you’re coming with me.”
“What in the Seven Hells are you talking about?” Reddix growled. “You know I can’t come with you—Nina’s probably going to be there.”
“Which is exactly why you’re coming.” Saber put a hand on his arm and tugged him toward the waiting shuttle. “Come on.”
“No.” Reddix held back stubbornly. “I can’t.”
“Why not? I know you want to.” Saber turned to face him. “Look, Brother, you’re miserable without her—anyone who looks at you can see it. Even Minda mentioned it to me the other night when we were visiting her. So what’s holding you back?”
Reddix sighed and looked away. “Let’s just say she’s better off without me.”
“You really believe that?” Saber demanded. “Why? Because you kidnapped her? I thought she’d forgiven you for that.”
“No, it has nothing to do with that…”
“Well, what does it have to do with?” Saber asked. “You might as well know, Lissa told me about what happened the night she and Nina left for the Mother Ship. She said Nina was devastated and that you looked pretty awful yourself. Why did you let her go when we all know you care about her so much?”
“I let her go because I couldn’t hold her, all right?” Reddix growled. “Because I couldn’t give her what a normal male could.”
“What do you mean a ‘normal male’?” Saber frowned. “I thought you were cured of your RTS now.”
“I am…mostly.” Actually, Reddix could still “hear” the emotions of others—for instance, he could tell that his friend was worried and upset for him right now. But it was a distant sensation he could ignore—muffled—like someone shouting from another room. It was irritating but no longer debilitating which was good, he supposed. In the past, such a huge reduction in the disease which had claimed that last ten years of his life would have made him ecstatic. Instead, he just felt miserable.
Saber frowned. “What do you mean ‘mostly’?”
“I mean I can still tell what people are feeling, it just doesn’t affect me as much,” Reddix said. “Which is about what Xandra promised me so I guess I can’t complain.”
“So she did keep her promise.” Saber shook his head. Reddix had given him a very abbreviated version of what had happened without going into details, but he was clearly still curious.
“She did a hell of a lot more than keep her promise.” Reddix scowled. “She gave me a fucking bonus—showed me what my future would be like with Nina if I tried to join with her.”
“So that’s what this is all about.” Saber frowned. “All right—tell me all about it. What exactly did she show you?”
“The truth—that even though the RTS is under control, I’m still crippled.”
“Crippled? Come on, Reddix…”
“I have no Touch Sense!” Reddix roared, losing his patience. “Don’t you see? Or do you take what you have so for granted that you don’t even think about it anymore?”
“You do have a Touch Sense,” Saber countered. “It’s just inverted—that’s what RTS is, isn’t it?”
“That’s not the point,” Reddix insisted. “The point is, I can’t ask Nina to stay with someone who lacks the basic ability to bond with her. Can’t ask her to share her life with me when we’ll never really connect. She’ll hate me after a while, Saber! I’ll make her life miserable.” He sighed and ran a hand over his face. “I can’t do that to her. I care for her too much…love her too much to do that to her.”