Shadow (New Species #9)(16)

“Good night. I’ll be right next door.” He looked away. “Do you want this closed?”
“No. I’d prefer the door open.”
“You can sleep at ease. Nothing will get inside without me hearing it.” He turned, ready to step away.
“Shadow?”
He paused, turned his head and stared at her. “Yes?”
Nerves made her feel a little nauseous. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him to share her room. Her heart rate increased and a lump seemed to form in the center of her throat, blocking her from speaking.
“Good night, Beauty.”
He was gone. She didn’t hear his bedroom door close and wondered if he’d left his open as well. Her shoulders slumped over losing her chance to invite him to sleep in her bed. Light came on under the door to the bathroom they shared, letting her know he was in there. Moments later water came on.
She sat on the bed staring at the tiny crack along the bottom of the bathroom door. The shower door creaked. The memory of his mostly naked body concealed only by the flag surfaced. Shadow had a great body, all muscled and beefy. His hair wouldn’t take long to wash since it was so short.
The layout of the bathroom replayed in her mind and she focused on the part where he’d be standing under the spray of water. The urge to go join him was strong. Breeze or Rusty would just saunter in there, strip, and step into the stall with him. They’d have the courage to lay hands on his skin and tell him to do whatever they wanted.
Beauty sat still. She was living alone with a man she wanted but couldn’t talk herself into acting bold. It made her feel like a big coward. The water shut off, he opened the shower door and she got to imagine him using a towel to dry off. The light clicked off and silence reigned inside the cabin. 
Shadow stretched out on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He’d chosen to sleep in one of the pairs of boxers his human friends from the task force had given him, as opposed to being naked. He hated wearing any clothing when he slept but the open doorway to the hall was lit from Beauty’s room. She hadn’t turned off her light. It left him wondering what she was doing in there.
It was very quiet in the cabin, no sounds of life besides the wind buffeting the structure occasionally. The dorm he’d recently moved into always held a little noise. Occasional males speaking in the hallways or doors closing somewhere. One of his neighbors enjoyed video games a little loud. It had been welcome after the imposing silence of living in the basement at the task force headquarters. He missed Wrath and wished he could call him.
His best friend and his mate had just moved into a house at Homeland. They needed time to settle in and he didn’t want to bother them. It wasn’t late so he needn’t worry that he’d disturb their sleep but he knew they’d been looking forward to spending time alone. Privacy wasn’t something they’d had much of in their previous quarters.
He turned on his side, staring at the hallway. He should be back at Homeland acquainting himself with his new duties. Living amongst so many Species had been pleasant. They welcomed him with open arms and he’d started to make more friends. Then Beauty had decided to run in the rain.
He couldn’t regret meeting her but resented the way he’d been manipulated into becoming a test subject. He’d sworn to never allow that to happen again. The fact that it might involve anything sexual really put him in a foul mood. No one had considered his feelings. He didn’t want any part of being someone’s guinea pig.
That’s what I am, he admitted silently. He’d spent many hours familiarizing himself with New Species and their accomplishments during the almost half a year living with the task force. They’d given him access to all the information on his people that he wanted. Gift Females were one of the topics he’d read about. It was deemed that any sexual contact with a male would damage to their already frail emotional states. They’d been created weaker on purpose, to make them easier to control and less likely to fight back.
A fine sheen of sweat broke out over his body although he’d just taken a cool shower. The idea of touching Beauty made him hot. The knowledge that a hundred things could go wrong if she initiated sex didn’t cool his blood in the slightest but it did fuel his fears of sharing sex. He could go at her too aggressively because he’d denied his cravings to touch a female.
His dick began to harden just thinking about her under him. The memory of her in that wet nightgown plastered against her skin, which had hidden nothing from him, had been the most enticing thing he’d ever seen. He reached down, fisting his dick through his shorts and adjusted it to a more comfortable position. He paused before releasing it, tempted to tend to the desire to get off. He’d become an expert at masturbation to fulfill his sexual needs.
Do it, he urged. It would curb some of his longing to walk into the next room to seek her company. His fingers stroked and his eyes closed. The feel of cotton rubbing against the head of his cock was a little irritating but still was good. It hardened even more and his balls started to ache.
He pictured Beauty in his mind, her big dark eyes staring at him with trust and he bit back a snarl as he let go of his dick to fist his pillow instead. He’d terrify her if she saw him bare. Worse, patience wasn’t his strongest trait. He could take her too fast or too roughly. Knowing that still didn’t dull his hunger for her. The ability to face his fears seemed to lesson somewhat in comparison to the hot desire burning through his body.Guilty, he admitted. He lusted after the delicate female. She’d slept on his chest and he’d held her. Protective instincts were a part of his genetics but he’d felt something much more personal when they’d woken to hear someone approaching the shed. He’d wanted to kill anyone who posed a threat to his Beauty. The half-asleep state of his mind might have accounted for the feelings of possessiveness that had gripped him but he wasn’t about to lie to himself. That hadn’t been the reason or the cause. She’d given him her trust and he’d wanted to keep her at his side.
That’s how you ended up here, he chided. Brass had reminded him that another male might harm her unintentionally and he’d have done anything to prevent that. Even if it meant lying on his side with a hard dick, sweating out his frustration, staring at the light in the hallway while he contemplated what she was doing in the next room.
The light under the bathroom door suddenly came on and he strained to hear to her every movement. A smile curved his lips when the sink faucet came on and moments later the toilet flushed. She was shy even about someone knowing when she tended to her needs. That amusement faded. She’d purposely camouflaged going to the bathroom so what would she do if she were naked under a male who was intent on getting much more personally acquainted with her body?
The faucet turned off and the light faded as she left the other room to return to hers. The hallway dimmed as well but she didn’t close her door. He’d have heard it if she had. He breathed through his mouth and tried to relax. Tomorrow would be a long day but he’d exercise restraint. It wouldn’t be easy. He was already at his limit and they’d only had hours together. I’ve signed up for a new torture, wanting what I can’t have.
* * * * *
Beauty gave up on sleep. A good hour must have passed and her restlessness only grew worse. She pushed back the covers and rose, sliding out of bed. She tiptoed across the floor and out of her room where she paused. Her hearing wasn’t as good as most Species but it was better than regular people. The sound of slow, steady breathing assured her she hadn’t woken Shadow.
The stairs didn’t creak as she crept down them and headed toward the back door. The area would be safe and she just wanted to get a little fresh air. The door was easy to unlock by feel and a warm wind blasted her the second she got it open. It was pleasant on her skin as she stepped out onto the porch. The door closed quietly behind her.
It was a small space with a little roof but she didn’t stay there. The three steps took her to a grassy area that was soft under her toes. The river noise was faint, calling to her sense of curiosity.
It wasn’t hard to make out the dim shapes of trees as she followed the sound of moving water. The tree density thinned and suddenly she stood on a dirt embankment staring out over the blackness with just a few glints of moonlight reflected. She smiled, proud to have found it by herself. One glance around and she found a nice fallen log to sit on. 
A howl startled her. Her heart raced as she stood, instantly fearful. It was really close and she turned, studying the darkness carefully. Something moved to her left, a twig snapped and a low growl rumbled.
“Shadow?” She whispered his name, afraid to speak too loudly. She really hoped it was him. New Species did that when they were angry and she figured he’d be furious if he had woken to find her gone. “Is that you?”
Something else moved to her right and she turned her head in that direction. A dark shape crept closer from behind a tree. It was big but low to the ground. Unless Shadow was on all fours, it wasn’t him. She backed up slowly, terrified. Another growl came from her right and she glanced that way to spot another big, low shape moving between two bushes, creeping closer.
“Shadow?” Her voice rose slightly. She wanted to scream his name but fear restricted her lungs.