Sex Says(109)
“Hmmm…I don’t know, LoLo.” His tone dripped with doubt. “Do you think it’s talking about smoking?”
My face was grim. “It’s looking that way.”
“You know what’s crazy?” he asked.
I declined my opportunity to answer, instead, sitting as still and as innocently as possible. He didn’t need me to be vocal, though. My silence was answer enough.
“My palm is telling me this after a good month has passed where packs of cigs have gone missing nearly every day.”
I shrugged. “Maybe it’s a sign? Like, written in the stars kind of thing?”
He just smirked. “What else does my palm say?”
“Well…” I traced more lines. “Oh! This one here represents employment status.”
“That’s the employment status line?”
“Yep.”
“Imagine if the rest of the world knew about that line?” he questioned. “It’d change the fucking world.”
“Crazy, huh?”
“Judy needs to get out there and teach more people about the employment status line,” he deadpanned.
Sometimes, it almost annoyed me how truly talented he was in the art of sarcasm. I fought the urge to laugh and redirected the conversation to where I needed it to go. “Do you want to know what yours says?”
“Of course. I can hardly contain my excitement over it.”
I ignored the sarcastic bastard. “Well…it looks like you’re about to get a new job.”
He quirked an amused brow. “No shit?”
“Nope.”
“Like the job you got me as an ostrich babysitter?”
“Not exactly,” I explained. “But you have to admit, that was a cool fucking job.”
“Oh, yeah. I loved sitting around and trying to keep baby ostriches from pecking the shit out of each other. Truly, one of my favorites.”
“Shut up. They were adorable, and I’m the best at finding you cool and interesting jobs.”
Over the past three months, I’d made a game out of searching for the oddest and most unconventional jobs in the San Francisco area for Reed. And like the laid-back, go with the flow kind of man he was, he’d just went along with each and every one.
But even I couldn’t deny a few of the jobs were downright awful.
“Professional groomsman?”
“That wasn’t a bad job!” I exclaimed. “And you looked so handsome in your tuxes!”
“Yeah. It was a bad job. I would’ve paid someone money not to have had to deal with the spoiled brides whose weddings could’ve been used as cruel and unusual punishment. If they unleashed some of those crazy women on terrorists, the world would be a much more peaceful place.”
“You’re being ridiculous.” I scoffed. “What about the live mannequin gig?” I asked. “Tell me you didn’t have the best time people watching with that.”
“Standing still for eight hours straight? Oh, yeah. That was amazing.”
“Fine. What about the fortune cookie writer?”
He smiled, and my heart flipped in my chest. I loved it when he smiled. “I actually did love that one. It’s a fucking shame they didn’t get my humor.”
“Pretty sure putting things like Only safe for human consumption until yesterday wasn’t the kind of fortune they were hoping to see inside a cookie.”
“You have to admit, it was hilarious.”
“Yeah,” I responded. “From an outsider’s perspective, maybe, but not exactly hilarious to an already paranoid mother.”
“I think she overreacted.”
“The other side of her kid’s fortune said, Seek immediate medical attention if you consumed this cookie after its expiration date.”
He just laughed.
“You’re evil.”
“And you’re determined to make me think you can read palms so I give you whatever you want.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I evaded. “Who would go through such an elaborate scheme for something like that?”
“You.”
“Pffffft. You’re being crazy.”
“What’s my next job, Roller Skates?” he asked with a grin. “Waste removal? Rodeo clown?”
“All right,” I admitted. “So I got you a job.”
“No way,” he said with overexaggerated eyes. “You got me a job? That’s such a surprise!”
I rolled my eyes, and he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me down to him. Lips to my neck, he placed soft, openmouthed kisses along my skin. “Are you going to tell me what it is?” he whispered into my ear, and his warm breath spurred goose bumps all over my body.