Secrets of a Bollywood Marriage(6)

                Dev slowly opened his eyes and glared at her. “You needed someone to look after you. You were not yourself after the miscarriage.”

                His gaze clashed with hers and Tina’s skin went cold. Miscarriage. He said the word with no problems but it had the power to send her into a tailspin. It still dragged her to those tense moments when the fear choked her. When she was alone, making wishes and prayers that went unanswered. When the doctors told her that she had lost her baby son.

                “Not myself? How would you know?” she asked. “You weren’t there. You made it very clear that you didn’t want to be married anymore. That there was no longer a reason.”

                His breath hitched audibly in his throat. “Is that how you see it?”

                Tina looked away. She didn’t want to think about how Dev had no interest in her, especially after she’d lost the baby. Not now, not when the dark and confusing emotions were rolling through her. “You were the first to walk away. What else am I supposed to think?”

                Dev sighed heavily and speared both hands through his hair. “I didn’t walk away—you pushed me away. You wouldn’t talk to me or look at me. You moved out of the bedroom and—”

                Tina’s head snapped back. “Excuse me for grieving!” she hissed. She wasn’t going to allow Dev to treat her emotions as weakness. “We all can’t shake it off and return to our normal life the day after the loss of our son.”

                “Don’t.” Dev took a step forward. “Hate me all you want, Tina, but don’t you dare suggest that I wasn’t grieving. I didn’t have the luxury of hiding away from the world.”

                His words were like a punch to the chest. Tina flinched as she stared at him with wide eyes. “Luxury?” He made it sound as if she’d had a choice. As if she’d willingly surrendered to the grief that almost suffocated her.

                Dev stared at her with a mesmerizing intensity. “You seem healthier than you did four months ago.” He looked deep into her eyes and gave a satisfied nod. “Stronger.”

                He had no idea, Tina realized. She could stride into the house as if she were a queen and confront her enemy with the daring of a warrior, but it was all an act. Four months ago she had been broken, but Dev’s indifference had crushed her. She had tried to put the pieces back together but she didn’t think she would feel whole or strong again.

                “I know how to take care of myself. I’ve done it most of my life,” Tina said. There had only been one time when she couldn’t. After the miscarriage, she had wanted to lean on Dev until she got stronger. Instead, he had taken advantage of her weakness. “But I’m not here about that.” She needed to get this over with so she could move on with her life.

                “How do you feel now?”

                Powerless. Heartbroken. Determined. “I’m ready for the next step of my life.”

                Dev didn’t move but Tina sensed his stillness. His tension. It was as if he could predict what she was about to say.

                Tina’s heart started to race. It fluttered wildly against her rib cage and it hurt when she took a deep breath. “I want a divorce.”

                “No.”

                She blinked at his immediate reply. Unlike her husky words, his refusal was clear and unemotional. “What do you mean, no?”

                “We are not getting a divorce,” he announced as he took another step closer. There was a wintry cold glint in his eyes. “I will fight you every step of the way.”