Searching for Always(4)

She twisted it onto a cord and slipped it over her neck. Maybe work was the key. Keep busy. Two weeks had passed for a solid grieving period, and now it was time to focus. She needed to get the cottage in order, plant her herb garden, run the dog shelter fund-raiser, and work on the new computer program for Kinnections. Since she quit her ex-lover’s yoga studio, students had been asking her when she’d be teaching on her own. Maybe she’d rent the firehouse and give classes there. No reason for her own students to suffer just because she refused to set foot in the Chakras yoga studio.

She placed the fat purple cushion in the center of the woven mat and set up the variety of candles around her spot. Two wide bamboo screens kept it private from onlookers and the pups. The incense sticks went up on the circular table, since Lenny seemed to like them better than the organic treats she regularly purchased. Nothing like pooping out incense. That had been a fun vet visit.

Finally, her sacred spot was complete. Her stack of meditation CDs lay next to her ancient stereo, but she disliked wearing pods or headphones when she meditated. Arilyn rolled to her feet and grabbed some matches and the bunch of dried sage she’d brought with her. Final task before making dinner. Each time she set up residence in a new place, she cleared all the old energy to start fresh.

God knows she needed a new slate.

Her throat tightened as she began to light the sage. All of her best friends were now in strong, healthy relationships leading to marriage. As the final single of the bunch, her heart squeezed with envy. When was it her turn? She’d worked so hard in all aspects of her life to be a good person, to open herself to love, to become spiritually sound to engage in a relationship that would bring her joy. Dammit, while others squandered their time partying, being selfish, and giving in to their ids, she did the hard work trying to transform herself. She did everything . . . right.

Right?

Guess not. She’d wasted the best years of her life stuck with a man who consistently lied and manipulated in the name of soul-searching. How could she have been so far off with her instincts? Was she just a chump after all? Was she even worthy of the kind of love she dreamed of, the kind that her friends had found?

She blinked furiously to clear her vision. Stop. She was being whiny and ridiculous. She had a great, satisfying life filled with goals and surrounded by plenty of people who loved her. Arilyn lifted the bunch of sage in the air, closed her eyes, and envisioned a home filled with love, peace, and light. The smoke trickled in thin wisps as she moved from room to room, including the closet and bathroom, paying particular attention to the bedroom and kitchen where most intense emotions were expressed.

Finally, the cottage was properly cleansed. She blew out the flame, moved the small pots containing her herbs to the windowsill for proper light, and grabbed the bottle of celebratory wine in the refrigerator. She deserved alcohol tonight. It would go nicely with her veggie burger and steamed edamame. First, she’d complete her asanas, do some pranayama, and then eat. Tomorrow, things would look better and she’d feel stronger. Peaceful. Back in control.

Arilyn was sure of it.





two

WE’VE GOT A problem, Petty.”

Stone sat in the battered chair and tried to look unconcerned. When the chief called him in and shut the door, he knew he was screwed. The question was simple. How screwed was he?

Since the incident, he’d been whispered about, endlessly questioned, and judged from his past. Devine backed him up and denied he beat up the husband, citing self-defense. Of course, the blood, bruises, and almost concussion were pretty good evidence. Seemed no charges were filed, though, due to the domestic abuse problem and the child who ended up in the hospital close to having brain trauma.

Thank God, she’d finally been discharged, and she and her mother had disappeared into a women’s shelter.

Basically, the whole incident was a clusterfuck of mega proportions. All because he didn’t wait for Devine and lost his infamous temper.

Chief Will Williams, aka the Dick, stared hard at him from behind a mess of paperwork, pizza plates, and empty Big Gulp Dr Peppers. He despised paperwork, investigations, and anything that brought any tarnish to the small Verily police force. Till now, Stone had been clean, especially with Devine backing him up. The Dick looked upon Devine as the golden boy on the force. As Devine’s partner, Stone had crept up on the chief’s approval ladder.

“I’m sorry, sir.” He kept his voice low and respectful. “I screwed up, I know I did. But he almost killed his daughter, and I had to move fast.”

“Oh, you moved all right, you son of a bitch. Do you know what would have happened if the jerk had sued the force? I’m talking newspaper headlines. Page one. We’d be done. Understand?”