Saving Us(23)

I rolled over on half of his chest and put my head up to face him. “You can’t talk about it and then not tell me. Come on with it. I want to know what names you like.”

He laughed even more. “Blaze, you know how much I like it when you get all roused up? I think I am goin’ to hold out until you can’t stand it anymore.”

“That’s not fair. We need to agree on it. I’m not going to let you name our child Amos or Betsy.”

“Damn, how did you know they were my favorites?” He teased.

I fell on top of him laughing, giving up on the topic for now. “I like it here, Conner.”

He wrapped his arms around my back and held me close to his chest. “It’s peaceful, that’s for sure. It ain’t like you have to worry about Rick while we’re here.”

I hated hearing Conner say Rick’s name. Maybe it was just the fact that we still had to deal with the asshole. “I wish it could be like this all the time.”

“I’ll admit, I do love bein’ home, but I also have history here that I don’t want to revisit. Too many skeletons are lingerin’. I don’t think you’d be able to handle them knockin’ on our door every day.”

“Are you being serious right now? How many is it?” Did I really want to know the answer? Would it change the way I felt about this magnificent man? I didn’t think it was possible.

“I didn’t keep count.” He scrunched his face up, and backed away, like I was going to hit him or something.

“Give me a rough estimate. Ten…twenty…a hundred…five hundred?”

He shook his head and kept laughing.

“Now I have to know. Just tell me. How bad can it be?”

“Didn’t we just have a nice afternoon? Can we not talk about this right now? Damn woman, you know how to spoil a mood.”

I poked at his chest. “You are not changing the subject on me, mister. Just come out with it.”

“No!”

I laughed, but he never cracked a smile. Suddenly, I started to realize that maybe he really didn’t want me to know. Of course it made me even more curious. “Babe, I’m not going to stop loving you because of your past. We all have skeletons.”

“Mine could fill a damn cemetery, Amy. Please, I just don’t want to discuss it. There were several times where I can’t even hardly remember bein’ with them. Before I met you, I didn’t give a shit about names, or favorite colors. I fucked for fun and it was with whatever fine looking chick I wanted. Is this what you want to hear?”

I grabbed both sides of his face and looked into those green eyes. Yes, it hurt me to hear, but the fact that he’d told me was more important. Conner trusted my love for him. “I want to know everything about you, you stubborn ass.”

“I’ll tell you something that I ain’t never told another woman before. You are the only woman who has ever made me chase her. You are the only one who fought me tooth and nail on bein’ with me. I knew you wanted it, but damn if you kept your distance. You made me crazier than I have ever been. When I look into your eyes, I see my future, but still, I would have kept pushing until I got into those panties.”

Obviously, he felt that if he would act cocky, I would think it was cute. “No, I really did think you were an ass. You were a very sexy ass, but still an ass.”

“Do you think I’m goin’ to be a good father, Amy?” That there was the only thing that would get me off of the current topic. I could hear the sincerity in his voice.

“Of course. Why would you even ask me that? You make me feel safe and loved. Do you really think I would have left everything to be with someone that was a loser? I’ve been hurt too much in my life to go through that again. Why do you think I fought you so much? I knew I wanted you, Conner, but I couldn’t let myself have you. I knew I’d want more and more until I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. I saw through that tough façade pretty quickly. Maybe it was even the night that we didn’t sleep together. You seemed so concerned about my welfare and you didn’t even know me. Our baby is going to fill that void in your heart that aches for your own father. I know it’s still there, lingering. I’d have to be blind to not see it. You are a beautiful man. Sure you have a sketchy past. Combine that with your cocky vanity and you can be damn near the king of all douches. I saw past it all, and for me, there was no turning back.”

He giggled and brushed a piece of hair away from my eyes. “Did you rehearse that?”

A cackle escaped my throat. “No, I meant every word.”

“Usually women like me for being an asshole. I never got it, but I also never complained. Don’t be tellin’ anyone that I have a soft side. I can’t let somethin’ like that get out.” He smiled so wide that all I could see was his white teeth. He knew he was saying something funny and that it would drive me up a wall.