Savage Awakening(35)

She supposed, if she was honest with herself, she'd been too embarrassed  to face him, and he'd come up behind her and wrapped his arms about her  waist. Then, as she was struggling not to spill her coffee, he'd buried  his face in the warm angle of her neck and shoulder. 'I love you, Fliss  Taylor, do you know that?' he'd murmured huskily, and for a moment her  heart had leapt into her throat. But then he'd spoiled everything by  continuing, 'My God, you don't know what you've done for me. I'll never  be able to thank you.'

That was when she'd eased herself out of his arms and done what she  should have done half an hour before. 'You don't have to thank me,' she  had said stiffly, moving to the sink and tipping the remains of her  coffee down the drain. And then, 'I-would you mind if I went home and  took a shower? I-feel-well, dirty.'

It wasn't the kindest choice of words, she'd known that instantly.  Still, she hadn't been too worried about sparing his feelings after the  way he'd behaved. She couldn't believe he'd actually said he loved her.  For heaven's sake, what did he think? That she'd be flattered? That  she'd believe him? Her breath caught in her throat. He didn't love her  any more than she liked the image of herself as his mistress.

After what had happened when she was a teenager, she'd always sworn she  would never get herself into a situation like this again. She loved her  daughter dearly, and she wouldn't be without her, but she wanted no more  unplanned pregnancies. One mistake, taking into account her age, could  be forgiven. But she was too old now not to appreciate the dangers of  unprotected sex, however justified the cause. Too old to withstand the  stigma of knowing the whole village was gossiping about her, as they  would if it happened again.

She'd known Matt had been taken aback by her response, but she couldn't  help it. She might have behaved recklessly by having sex with him, but  she wanted him to understand that she didn't need his guilty confession.

Consequently, when he'd said, 'If that's what you want,' she'd ignored  his obvious confusion and taken him at his word. Whether he'd expected  her to go back later she had no way of knowing, but she'd decided that  giving them both twenty-four hours breathing space was probably the  wisest course.

The trouble was, the twenty-four hours were over now-or almost-and she  was still no surer of what she wanted to do. Could she go on working for  him after what had happened? Would he want her to? And how would she  cope with the emotional fallout if he decided it would be simpler for  all concerned if they just called it a day?

Downstairs again, Amy was waiting expectantly for her decision and Fliss  acknowledged that it might be easier all round if she took the child  with her. It would mean that she and Matt would have no chance for any  private conversation, and that was all to the good. For her, at least.  It would give her another twenty-four hours' grace, and she found she  needed that.                       
       
           



       

'Tell Matt I found a website that deals almost exclusively with military  dictatorships,' said her father as Fliss was preparing to leave. 'I'm  sure he'll be interested.'

Fliss's lips tightened. 'I'll tell him,' she said, ushering Amy out of  the door before she could change her mind about going. 'Um-see you  later.'

It was an overcast morning and Fliss thought that it matched her mood.  She was definitely not equipped to deal with Matt in her present state,  and she hoped he'd understand why she'd brought Amy with her and back  off.

To her surprise, the back door was locked, and, although she knocked a  couple of times, no one came to open it. 'Is Matt still in bed?' asked  Amy innocently, looking up at her mother with wide, enquiring eyes, but  Fliss didn't know what to think.

'Let's try the other door,' she said, not wanting to commit herself, and  they circled round to the front of the house, where they found Albert  Freeman's van in the driveway and the front door standing open.

Fliss frowned. She'd known that the painter and decorator had given Matt  estimates for the work he wanted done, but she hadn't realised an  appointment to carry out the work had been agreed. Still, it was fairly  obvious that it had, and she could only assume that that was why Matt  hadn't opened the back door.

With Amy following close on her heels, she climbed the steps and entered  the hall, immediately encountering a workman stripping paper from the  walls. 'Oh, hi,' she said, when he caught sight of her. 'Is-is Mr Quinn  about?'

'No,' began the man, but before he could offer any further explanation,  Albert Freeman himself appeared from the back of the house.

'Oh, it's you,' he said when he saw Fliss, looking a little askance when  he saw Amy beside her. 'Were you just knocking at the back door?'

Fliss warned herself to ignore his overbearing attitude, and said  smoothly, 'I was looking for Mr Quinn. Do you know where he is?'

'London,' answered Freeman at once, and Fliss felt her stomach lurch in disbelief.

'London?'

'That's right.' Freeman was obviously enjoying being the bearer of  unexpected news. 'He asked me to tell you that he won't need you this  week. He'll be in touch when he gets back.'

Fliss hoped she didn't look as devastated as she felt. 'I see,' she said faintly as Amy tugged impatiently on her arm.

'Why has Matt gone to London?' she asked, voicing the question Fliss  would have liked to ask herself, and the man gave the little girl a  reproving look.

'That's none of your business, young lady,' he said, and Fliss suspected  his words were meant for her as well. 'Now, you'll excuse me if I get  on, won't you? Mr Quinn will expect me to have finished in the hall by  the time he gets back.'

Fliss walked back to the cottage in a daze. She could hardly believe  that Matt would take off for London without even having the courtesy to  tell her where he was going. But then, after the way she'd behaved  yesterday, he'd probably decided she didn't deserve an explanation.

But that was too simplistic. Matt wasn't like that. Whatever she'd done,  whatever she'd said, she couldn't accept that he'd treat her so  shabbily. Something must have happened, something that had required his  immediate attention, and he'd left a message with Albert Freeman so that  he could give it to her in person.

Well, that was one way of looking at it, she acknowledged, wondering if  she was being simplistic now. He could have phoned her, he could have  put a note through the cottage door. Surely he must have realised how  she'd feel being ordered about by the tradesman. Albert Freeman had got  great pleasure out of telling her she wasn't needed. Oh, God, what  exactly had Matt said?

'Matt's gone to London.'

Amy announced the news to her grandfather as soon as she got through the  cottage door, and Fliss saw her father's eyes widen in surprise as he  lifted his head from the newspaper.

'London?' he echoed, much as she had done. 'And you didn't know he was going?'                       
       
           



       

'Obviously not,' said Fliss, realising that if she displayed anything  but annoyance at the situation George Taylor would smell a rat. She  shrugged. 'Perhaps it was an emergency.'

'And he couldn't ring you to tell you what he was doing?' Her father  gave a disgruntled snort. 'I told you I didn't approve of you working  for him. The man's totally thoughtless.'

Fliss forced a smile. 'I thought you said you'd changed your mind about  him. Didn't you just ask me to tell him about some website before I  left?'

'Huh.' Her father wasn't pleased to be reminded. 'Anyway, I should have  known better. Men like him, they don't change. I bet he's gone sniffing  after that Chesney girl again. Her father was telling me they'd had a  bit of a bust-up. Apparently, she was totally opposed to him moving down  here. I suppose it was only a matter of time before she persuaded him  to change his mind.'

Fliss opened her mouth to tell him that if that was so, why was Albert  Freeman decorating the hall and stairs? But she decided not to bother.  For all she knew, Matt could be doing the house up to sell it again.  Obviously, he didn't confide in her.

However, it was what her father had said about Diane that troubled her  the most. Despite his many statements to the contrary, deep inside she  suspected Matt was still in love with the other woman. And now, thanks  to Fliss's actions, he could resume his relationship with Diane, safe in  the knowledge that his libido had been completely restored.

That hurt.

Even though she didn't believe he loved her, the possibility that he  might be prepared to forgive Diane her indiscretions was painful. He'd  been so adamant, so definite that Diane meant nothing to him. And yet,  what else was she supposed to think when he hadn't even bothered to keep  her informed of his movements?