Savage Awakening(33)
Her skirt was up around her waist now and she thought Matt's hand shook a little as he cupped her through her panties. 'You're wet,' he said thickly, and she realised he could feel her arousal clear through the thin cotton.
'I know,' she said, half apologetically, and she heard the groan that rumbled through his chest at her words.
'Hell, Fliss,' he muttered, pulling her panties down to her knees and spreading the cluster of red-gold curls with his thumb, 'that is so not something to be ashamed of.' And before she knew what he intended, he slid down her body until his mouth was level with the tight curls at the tops of her legs.
She couldn't believe what he was doing, but although her hands moved futilely to clutch his hair, his thrusting tongue defeated her. Sensations such as she'd never experienced before gathered into a burning coil she couldn't control and, in spite of wanting to wait until he was a part of her before she came, her orgasm was irresistible. And overwhelming. An incredible wave of pleasure swept her up and over the brink, the shuddering aftermath drenching him with the sweetness of her essence. Then, as she struggled back to sanity, he slid over her again and let her taste herself on his lips.
It was all totally unreal, totally erotic, and Fliss felt as if her whole body was engulfed in fire. But that breathtaking orgasm had left her only partially satisfied. She wanted more; she wanted him; and she was horrified when Matt abruptly rolled away from her.
She gasped in disbelief. There was no way she was going to let him pleasure her without pleasuring himself, she thought passionately, and she had no hesitation about tearing off her skirt and kicking her panties the rest of the way down her legs. Then she was as naked as he was, and positioning herself so that she was looking down at him, she bent and covered his mouth with her own.
'Fliss … '
He spoke her name against her lips, his eyes wide now and filled with a haunting regret she refused to accept. He wanted her; she knew he did. And, despite his apparent denial, she found that when she circled his mouth with her tongue his lips parted almost automatically.
He liked it, she assured herself, not understanding his resistance but eager to build on her success. With instinctive daring, she dipped her tongue into his mouth, letting it slide the length of his in a tentative exploration.
A feeling not unlike exultation gripped her when she felt his response. His quickening breathing filled her nose and mouth, filled her lungs, and she felt as if she was drowning in the scent and feel of him. Dipping her head even lower, she bit one of his button-hard nipples, and the sound he made then was definitely not a protest.
However, when she began to drop a chain of moist kisses down his chest to his flat stomach, and her fingers moved unmistakably towards his groin, his reaction was much different. His hand shot out and trapped her fingers in an iron-hard grasp and in a muffled undertone he grated, 'No!'
Fliss's immediate thought was to obey him. After all, hers was a fragile confidence at best, and she wasn't used to going against authority. But then, the expression in his eyes made her hesitate, and, although she didn't fight to continue, she didn't draw back either. Something was going on here, something she didn't yet understand. But she intended to, she told herself grimly. Oh, yes, she intended to.
'You want me,' she said, her voice almost as low as his had been, and she saw him close his eyes as if he couldn't bear to let her see the truth in them. 'You do,' she insisted huskily. And then, because it was the only thing she could think of to explain his behaviour, she added, 'I'm not asking you to make any commitment. I realise that Diane-'
'It's not Diane,' he snarled, and once again she was assailed with the fear that perhaps she was wrong. Perhaps he didn't want her, after all. But then, in a hoarse voice, he continued, 'Of course I want you, dammit. I'd give anything if I could-' He broke off, staring at her with tortured eyes. 'But I can't. Do you understand? I can't. I'm impotent, Fliss. That's what those bastards did to me. I only have to think about sex-' He groaned. 'That's why I can't make love to you as I want to. I'm no good to you. I'm no good to any woman.'
The silence that followed his outburst was significant only for its brevity. But then Fliss exclaimed incredulously, 'I don't believe it!'
'Believe it.' Matt spoke heavily. 'Do you think I'd make something like that up?'
'But-you were aroused-'
'Only slightly.'
'No.' Fliss wouldn't have that. 'I felt it, beside my hip. You were hard. I felt you throbbing against my leg.'
'You imagined it.'
Matt responded harshly, but Fliss knew what she'd felt; what she'd seen, for God's sake, before he'd decided that only one of them was going to be satisfied.
'I know what I felt, Matt,' she cried, but he closed his eyes again as if this was all too much for him to bear.
'Just-just leave me, huh?' he said tiredly, and now when she glanced towards his groin she saw he had some reason for his despair. He was soft and flaccid again, the power of his erection destroyed by his own disbelief.
She sat back on her heels then, not sure what she ought to do. If he was right and she stayed here, she was only exacerbating his misery. But if she was right-and she was almost sure she was-this might be her only chance to prove it to him.
Deciding she had nothing to lose, she leant forward and laid her hand against his cheek. And, as she'd anticipated, Matt reacted violently. Thrusting her hand aside, he attempted to roll away from her, but she was too quick for him. Moving more positively than she would have ever thought possible, she straddled him, sitting across his hips and pinning him to the bed.
'What the hell-?' he began, but she refused to let him ruin this by losing his temper.
Putting a finger across his lips, she leant towards him until her breasts brushed his chest. Then, cupping them in her hands, she presented them to him with a smile that was unashamedly seductive.
'Are you mad?' he exclaimed, but she saw him looking at her, saw the way his eyes darkened with unwilling awareness as she shifted against his hip; when he realised her moistness was brushing his groin.
'What you did to me,' she said huskily. 'Will you do it again?' She looked down at herself deliberately. 'I sort of-ache, if you know what I mean.'
'God, Fliss-'
'Or I could do it for you,' she murmured daringly, and knew an incredible sense of triumph when she felt him hardening beneath her.
'You don't know what you're talking about,' he choked harshly, but she knew exactly what she was doing. She might have little experience when it came to men, but she'd read enough books to know that actions definitely spoke louder than words.
'We'll see, shall we?' she said, not knowing where all this confidence was coming from. She leant closer so that her breasts were crushed against his chest now and traced his lips with her tongue. 'Hmm, you taste good.'
'Fliss … '
There was a note of desperation in his voice, but it didn't seem to be having any effect on his body's reactions, thank goodness. When Fliss shuffled backward, his erection rose almost proudly from its coarse nest of hair, and she encircled it with her hand before bending to take him into her mouth.
He jerked convulsively then, but she didn't give up. Her tongue loved the silken length of him, and she got a particular pleasure from feeling his heartbeat pulsing against the roof of her mouth. His skin was like velvet, and she tried to imagine how good it would feel to have that soft-coated hardness inside her.
'Please … ' he groaned, and she knew that, however convinced she was that Matt wasn't impotent as he believed, there was only one way to prove it. Not without some trepidation, she rose onto her knees and positioned herself above him. Then, before he could stop her, before she lost the courage to do it, she lowered herself onto him.
Her first thought was that she'd been too ambitious. She couldn't do this. He was too big, and she was too tight, and it seemed as if she simply wouldn't be capable of accommodating him. But, despite Matt's hoarse cry of protest, she persisted, and found to her relief that her body expanded to meet his needs. Seconds later, he was nestled slickly inside her, stretching her and filling her in a way she could never have imagined before this moment.
She looked at Matt, half hoping to see approval in his eyes, but he had half reared up on his pillows, and there was pain, but no approbation, in his expression.
'Fliss,' he muttered, his hands reaching for her hips, and she guessed he was going to lift her off him.