Sanctuary(130)

Jo ripped away the sheets that tangled around her legs and bolted upright. Even as the vision cleared away, Nathan laid a hand on her shoulder. He wasn't lying beside her, but standing, and his face was masked in the dark.

"You're all right. just a dream. A bad one."

Not trusting her voice, she nodded. The hand on her shoulder rubbed it once, absently, then dropped away. The gesture was a distant comfort.

"Do you want something?"

"No." The fear was already fading. "It's nothing. I'm used to it."

"It'd be a wonder if you didn't have nightmares after today." He moved away from her, walked to the window, turned his back.

she could see he'd pulled on his jeans, and when she ran her head over the sheets beside her, she found they were cool. He hadn't been sleeping beside her. Hadn't wanted to, Jo realized. He'd only stayed over at Sanctuary because Kate had made it impossible to refuse. And he was only sharing the bed here because it would have been awkward otherwise.

But he hadn't touched her, hadn't turned to her.

"You haven't slept, have you?"

"No." He wasn't sure he would ever close his eyes peacefully again.

Jo glanced at the clock. 3:05. she'd experienced her share of restless three A.M.S. "Maybe you should take a sleeping pill."

"No."

"I know this was hell for you, Nathan. There's nothing anyone can say or do to make it better."

"Nothing's ever going to make it better for Tom Peters."

"He might have killed her."

Nathan hoped it was true-with all his heart he hoped it. And felt filthy for it.

"They argued," Jo said stubbornly. "she walked out on him. He could have followed her down to the cove. They kept arguing and he snapped. It would only take a minute, a minute of rage. Then he panicked and carried her away. He'd have wanted the distance, so he put her in the river."

"People don't always kill in rage or panic," he said softly. Bitterness rose into his throat, threatening to choke him. "I have no business being in this house. Being with you. What was I thinking op. Going back. To fix what? What the hell did I think I could do?"

"What are you talking about?" she hated the quaver in her voice. But the sound of his, so hard and cold, chilled her.

He turned back to stare at her. she sat in the big, feminine bed, her knees drawn up defensively, her face a pale shadow. He'd made mistakes all along, he realized. Selfish and stupid mistakes. But the biggest had been to fall in love with her, and to nudge her into love with hi she would hate him before it was done. she would have to.

"Not now. We've both had enough for now." Walking toward hid he thought, was as hard as it would be to walk away. He sat on the si of the bed, ran his hands down her arms. "You need to sleep."

"So do you. Nathan, we're alive." she took his hand, pressed to her heart. "Getting through and going on-that's important. It's a lesson I learned the hard way." Leaning forward, she touched her ivs to his. "Right now, let's just help each other get through the night."

Her eyes were dark and stayed on his as she tilted her head to warm the kiss. "Make love with me. I need to hold you."

He let her draw him down, let himself sink. she would hate him before it was done, but for now love would be enough.

I In the morning he was gong, from her bed, from Sanctuary, and from Desire.

I "He left on the morning ferry?" Jo stared at Brian, wondering how he could fry eggs when the world had just turned upside down again.

"I passed him at dawn, heading back to his cottage." Brian checked his order sheet and spooned up grits. Crises came and went, he thought, but people always managed to eat. "He said lie had some business to take care of on the mainland. He'd be a couple of days."

"A couple of days. I see." No good-bye, no see you around. No anything.

"He looked pretty ragged around the edges. And so do you."

"It hasn't been an easy twenty-four hours for anyone."

"No, but I've still got an inn to run. If you want to be useful, you could sweep off the terraces and patios, see that the cushions are put back out."

"Life goes on, right?"

"There's nothing we can do about that." He scooped the eggs up neatly, the glimmering yolks trembling. "You just do what has to be done next."

He watched her drag the broom out of the closet and head outside. And he wondered just what in the hell he was supposed to do next.

"I'm surprised people can eat, the way their mouths are running."

Lexy breezed in, exchanged an empty coffeepot for a till one, then slapped down new orders. "One more person asks me about that poor woman, I'm going to scream."