Sanctuary(126)

"You sound like your father's daughter."

Distracted, she looked over her shoulder. "No. I rarely give a thought to what goes on here. During hurricane season I might pay more attention to the weather reports for this area, but we haven't been hit hard that way in years."

"Jo Ellen, you love this place. It shouldn't worry you to admit that."

"It's not the center of my life."

"No, but it matters to you." He stepped closer. "A lot of things, a lot of people can matter to YoLiwithot taking over your life. You matter to me."

Alarm jingled in her heart, and she took a hasty step back. "Nathan-" she nearly fell as the ground sucked at her feet.

"You're going to end up back in the river." He took her arms in a firm grip. "Then you'll accuse me of pushing you in again. That's not what I'm doing. I'm not pushing you, Jo Ellen. But I'm not going to be sorry if you slip."

"I like keeping my feet under me, and knowing where the ground gives before I step on it."

"Sometimes you've got to try new territory. This is unexplored ground for me, too."

"That's not true. You've been married, you-"

"she wasn't you," he said quietly and Jo went still in his arms. "I never felt about her the way I'm feeling about you, right now. she never looked at me the way you're looking at me. And I never wanted her as much as I want you. That was what was wrong with it all along. I didn't know it, didn't understand how much of it was my fault until I saw you again."

"You're moving too fast for me."

"Then keep up. And goddamn it, Jo Ellen," he said with an impatient sigh as he tipped her head back. "Give in a little."

she tasted the impatience when his mouth met hers, and the need that went deeper than she'd allowed herself to see. The quick flare of panic inside her fought with a shiver of delight. And the warm stream that shimmered in her blood felt like hope.

"Maybe you're not pushing." she didn't resist when he gathered her closer. "But I feel like I'm sinking." she rested her head on his shoulder, willed her brain to clear. "Part of me just wants to let it happen, and another part keeps fighting to kick back to the surface. I don't know which is best, for me or for you."

He needed that glimmer of hope, the whisper in his heart that promised if she loved him enough, if they loved each other enough, they could survive what had happened. And what was to come.

"Why don't you think about which makes you happier instead of which may be best?"

It sounded so simple that she started to smile. she watched the river flow, wondered if it was time for her just to dive in and see where it took her. she could almost see herself riding that current. See herself rushing along it.

Trapped under the surface, staring up. Dragged down away from air and light.

The scream ripped from her throat, had her sinking to her knees before he could catch her.

"Jo, for God's sake!"

"In the water. In the water." she clamped a hand over her mouth to hold back the bubbling hysteria. "Is it Mama? Is it Mama in the water? "

"Stop it." He knelt beside her, dragged her around by the shoulders until her face was close to his. "Look at me. I want you to stop it. I'm not letting you fall apart. I'm not letting it happen, so you just look at me and pull back."

"I saw-" she had to gulp for air. "In the water, I saw-I'm losing my mind, Nathan. I can't hold on to it."

"Yes, you can." Desperately he pulled her close. "You can hold on to me. just hold on to me." As she shuddered against him, he looked down grimly at the surface of the river.

And saw the pale ghost staring up at him.

"Jesus God." His arms tightened convulsively on Jo. Then he shoved her back and slid heedlessly into the rising river. "she's in here," he shouted, grabbing on to a downed limb to keep himself from he'ng swept clear. "Give me a hand with her."

"What?

"You're not losing your mind." Panting with the effort, Nathan reached out with his free hand and gripped hair. "There's someone in here! Help me get her out."

"Oh, my God." Without hesitation now, Jo bellied up to the edge, fighting to anchor her toes in the slippery bank. "Give me your hand, Nathan. Try to hold on to her and I'll help pull you up. Is she alive? Is she breathing?"

He'd gotten a closer look now, a clearer look. And his stomach lurched with horror and pity. The river hadn't been kind. "No." He spoke flatly, shifting his grip on the limb. His gaze lifted to Jo's. "No, she's not alive. I'll hold on here, keep her from going downriver. You get to Sanctuary for help."

she was calm now, cold and calm. "We'll get her out together," she said and stretched out her hand.