Safeword: Davenport(84)

"Okay. We'll look it over when we get back to your place. I'm prepared to commit to a good deal, and I'm interested in reading what you've drawn up.” Her eyes flicked up to movement over Zach's shoulder. “I think I see our food coming."

The wait staff made a big production of delivering their meals, and both began eating once they were alone. She took advantage of the silence to analyze how best to handle Zach's hurt feelings. He'd forgiven her, accepted it was a misunderstanding, but she could see it'd cut deep and she needed to help him understand.

She collected her thoughts and said, “You've been serious with a few people since Bethany passed, right?” He inclined his head and she continued. “Did you ever go to the cemetery and talk to her about it? Tell her you were moving on, and part of you felt guilty for it, but you needed to live?"

"I did, yes."

Damn, he could freeze water with his voice. She ignored his tone and plowed ahead. “Could you've asked permission to move on if you took your new girlfriend? Or was it something you had to do alone?"

"I needed to... ah. I see."

"Do you?"

He nodded and reached across the table for her hand. “All I heard was out of town, spent the night, there were tears, and once again it was another man who soothed you. I'm afraid I didn't think the rest of it through."

Finally, his voice was warm again. She took a breath. “Well, now I'll know how to tell when I've pissed you off, anyway."

He smiled, looking slightly embarrassed. “I'm sorry; I guess I'm a little touchy right now. I dealt with everything in Nashville, but only because I sensed if I didn't let you go off on a final solo quest, a relationship between us was doomed before it started. I have no say over what you do, I'm not your Master or your Sir or even your boyfriend, yet... but if we're to have a chance I need to hear from you that you'll let me be there for you. I thought I'd had your promise, and..."

"I'll let you be there for me.” She paused. “Wait, I need to qualify that. I'll have three days a year, at least for a few more years, I'm probably going to have some sadness. You may have to let me have time to myself. I expect you'll have at least two days as well."

"Yes, her birthday and our anniversary. What are your three?"

"Technically four, I guess, but two of them are together so I think of them as three. We first met on New Year's Eve, and his birthday is New Year's Day. The others are our wedding anniversary, and I haven't dealt well on the anniversary of the week he died, either. I won't go running off out of town without you, but I may need time to myself."

"Okay, noted.” He took a sip of water, considering. “As much as I want to hold you through any grief, I get that we each handle things in our own way. But I'd like to suggest something for both of us to think about and decide on later."

He looked out the window as he said, “My first date with Bethany was on the Fourth of July, and we regarded the Pops in the Park fireworks as one of our anniversaries.” His gaze returned to her, emotion threatening to spill from his eyes. “Since you and I both have a holiday with painful memories, I'd like to suggest we do something special on those days to give us different memories. The other days will fade eventually, so they won't always be a sad day. But the holidays? I don't know, but I'd like for us to have a conversation about it after we've had a chance to mull it over."

She took another couple of bites, finally noticing how good the food was. She wasn't prepared to answer him, couldn't even consider doing something else on New Year's right now, and needed to change the subject. “So, what are the high points of this contract you want me to sign?"

His forehead tensed briefly before relaxing, and he answered without commenting on the subject change. “I'd like us to commit to a primarily monogamous relationship, having sex with others only after we discuss how we feel about it as a couple. I'm fine with you Topping Jacob, and while I won't insist on always being present, I'll need to know when you're together—no clandestine scenes between the two of you. I'm not planning, at this time, to have sex with anyone else, but if I ever want to, you and I will talk about it beforehand and it won't happen unless you give the okay. Should our relationship shift to Master and slave, that'll change, of course."

"What're you saving for last?"

One side of his mouth tilted up, amused. “You know me too well already. I'll own you, completely, for one twenty-four hour period per week. The default time will be noon Saturday until noon Sunday, but we can renegotiate the schedule as needed. Work obligations come first—but hours must be made up at a later date."