Safe and Sound(48)
She also knew how judgmental, stereotypical, and mistaken people could be too. What they thought happened and what really happened were most likely two very different things.
The bell rang.
Lola looked up and caught Roxanne’s eye. Roxanne quickly looked away and strode in the opposite direction. There had been no animosity in her gaze, which was a first. No Sebastian by her side either.
“Come on, we’re going to be late.” Rachel tugged at her hand and propelled Lola toward their first class of the day.
***
Lola looked for Jack throughout the day, missing him and longing to see him, but not once did she catch a glimpse of him. She was scared for him. He usually only missed school when his dad was especially violent. Lola imagined all sorts of terrible things and by the end of the day, she was in a panic.
She’d searched the halls for Isabelle, but not surprisingly hadn’t seen her either. Which wasn’t unusual.
Sebastian was another story. He was like her shadow most of the day, an overprotective, overbearing shadow.
The final bell sounded, signaling the end of the school day and there he was, hovering behind her as she hurried out of the school. The sun instantly heated her, hot and cloying with humidity.
“Lola, we need to talk.”
“Not now, Sebastian.” Lola took in the surrounding buildings and trees, wondering if Jack was somewhere near, watching and waiting. She looked for an old truck that had seen better days. Lola’s shoulders slumped when she found not a trace of Jack.
“Yes, now.” Sebastian pulled her around to face him. He looked like he was searching for words, like he thought if he said the wrong thing she would break.
“Call me later, Lola,” Rachel said with a wave, smiling at Lola. She nudged Sebastian’s shoulder as she passed and Lola didn’t miss the way Sebastian’s eyes followed Rachel as she walked away. Interesting.
“I need to…” Sebastian sighed, ran a hand through his hair. “Can I give you a ride home?”
Lola searched for Jack once more before giving up and focusing her attention on Sebastian. “Okay.”
She waited until they were in the car to say, “You know, I’m not going to fall apart.”
He fiddled with buttons and knobs, turning the air conditioning on. Almost immediate relief washed over Lola’s flushed skin.
Sebastian pulled the car out of the parking lot, eyes trained straight ahead. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You. Hovering. I’m fine. I don’t need a bodyguard.”
“I want to be there for you, Lola.”
“Why?”
He glanced at her, frowning. “Because we’re friends. That’s what friends do.”
Lola took a deep breath and stared out the passenger window. “We haven’t talked in a year, Sebastian.”
“I know. I don’t know what I did to push you away, but I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry,” she interrupted, twisting her body to face him. “It’s my fault. I pushed you away. I thought I was protecting you. I’m sorry for that. But it doesn’t change the fact we haven’t talked in a long time. We don’t even know each other anymore. You’ve changed. I’ve changed.”
I’ve changed so much.
The car came to a stop. They were at Blair’s.
“I know that, Lola. But what hasn’t changed is how I feel about you. I love you. You know that. You’re my oldest friend. Yeah, things are awkward now, but it’ll get better.”
He reached over and touched her cheek. “You’ve been through something terrible, something you never should have gone through. I want to help you, to be there for you.”
Lola put her hand on his. “Sebastian, you were there for me when it mattered most. Don’t ever forget that.”
He tugged his hand away and looked out the window, jaw tight. “It never should have gotten to that point. I should have done more. I should have figured it out sooner. The way you were acting…”
“Don’t put any blame on yourself, Sebastian. You did what you could and I will forever be grateful for that. For you.”
Sebastian turned back to her, offering a semblance of a smile. “We’ll get through this, Lola, and be stronger friends because of it. You just watch.”
His optimism was admirable and maybe naïve. She wished she could be so unfailingly confident about it.
“I don’t know how to make it better, to get past this awkwardness, Sebastian. We don’t know each other anymore.”
He smiled. “I refuse to believe that. Deep down, where it matters, we’re still the same.”
In her friend’s smile, Lola allowed herself to feel hope for the first time in a long time. True, she and Sebastian could never have the kind of friendship they used to have, but maybe it could be better. Different, but better.