SEX Unlimited Volume 3(11)

He bursts out laughing and runs his hands up and down my arms. “Ripping the towel off isn’t necessary. I’m more than happy to remove it for you.”

I give him a mischievous grin. “I bet you would. But how about coffee first?” I turn around, grazing his waist, just barely, with my ass as I lean over to pick up the cups of coffee.

“You’re not making this any easier by doing that.”

I turn around and hand him his cup. “That’s what you get for coming out here,” I look him up and down, “like that.”

He leans his hip against the counter and takes a sip of his coffee. His nose crinkles up and he gulps hard.

“What’s wrong? Is it no good? I just bought it this week.”

He shakes his head. “No, I’m sure it’s fine. I don’t drink black coffee, that’s all.”

I giggle. “Oh, you’re a cream and sugar man, huh? I would’ve never thought that.”

“I would’ve never thought you to be a black coffee girl, either. You didn’t have black coffee at brunch on the day we met.”

Wow, he remembers what I had at brunch that day? What man remembers little details like that?

Brisban does. That’s what kind of man.

“You have a great memory.”

I pull the sugar out and walk over to the refrigerator to get the creamer.

“I’ve taken note of everything about you since we met.”

All I have is Hazelnut creamer, only keeping it for when Janette came over. “This is all I have,” I say handing it to him. “And I wish I would’ve known you were taking notes. Maybe I would’ve given you more to take note of.”

He spoons a large amount of sugar into his cup and then proceeds to pour a lot of creamer in. “Whoa, coffee with your sugar and creamer instead of the other way around.”

He laughs as he stirs the now milky looking liquid. “I know. It really is a bad habit but I’m a sugar-holic. Put anything sweet in front of me and I’m a goner. I can’t resist. I guess that’s why I put in double the time at the gym. Otherwise I can only imagine what I’d look like.” He sips the coffee and swallows slowly. “Perfect.”

A ringing sound from the bedroom interrupts us and he sets his coffee on the countertop. “That’s my phone. Excuse me for just a second.”

I watch him as he walks out of the kitchen area. His broad shoulders and back muscles, all the way down to his perfect ass, taunt me with each step he takes. I slap my hand on my forehead and laugh inwardly at myself. It’s like my thoughts and feelings aren’t under my control anymore. One minute my life was ordered and made sense. Now, my world is unpredictable and Brisban is around every corner. No matter where my thoughts are headed they always bump into him in some way. It’s crazy how someone you never thought of can so quickly turn into someone you can’t stop thinking about.

A few moments later he comes out of my bedroom. He’s dressed in just a pair of jeans and I can’t help but to feel a little disappointed I missed the removal of the towel.

“That was the detective.”

He looks somber and every ounce of our playful morning mood disappears. I go to him and we sit down together on the sofa. “What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t realize DNA results take so long. It might take up to fourteen days to get the final results. I just want it to be over with. I want the closure. And here I am playing house with you while my daughter’s remains are laying on a metal table somewhere. What kind of father am I anyway?”

My posture stiffens. I don’t like the way he said that at all. “I don’t think we are playing house, Brisban. You’re here, yes. And we have enjoyed being here together but that doesn’t make you a bad father. You’re living your life. It’s a hard time for you. You can’t blame yourself for trying to distract your thoughts from the very real thing you have to face.” I stroke his back softly. I can feel how tense he is.

“I know. It’s so conflicting. The span of emotions I feel are miles wide and none meet in the middle. Here I am finally feeling for the first time in so long, yet on the other hand I’m facing the very thing that turned my feelings off to begin with. I don’t know how to navigate this.” He drops his head and teepees his arms, putting his hands together like he’s praying. He closes his eyes and sighs. “I know I want the closure because I keep hoping the pain will lessen once it comes, but I know I’m lying to myself. I don’t think the pain will ever lessen. That scares me. I vowed to myself I’d never feel that kind of pain again in my life. I’ll never father another child. I can’t bear the burden of that responsibility ever again.”