Rush (Gods #2)(25)
"God, I'm so sorry, Ares."
I press my hand to his cheek. He takes hold of it and turns his face into my palm, pressing a kiss there.
But he doesn't let go of my hand; he holds it in his, resting it on his chest.
"I hated him for a long time. I guess, in a way, part of me still does. I resent him. My relationship with him is … difficult. I don't trust him. And I don't forgive him for letting us down when we needed him most."
"Which is why you don't trust drunks."
His eyes come to mine. "I trust you."
My heart swells to the size of Texas.
"You told me the truth when it mattered, Ari. I know how hard that was for you to come to me and tell me that you'd gone to that bar. My dad … he never would have done that. It was lie after lie with him. That's why it's so important to me that you're always truthful with me."
"Even if it's something you won't want to hear, I'll always tell you the truth." I press a kiss to his knuckles.
"But, yeah, so because of my shit with my dad … I took offense with you."
"I understand that."
"But that doesn't make it right. I projected my bullshit with him onto you. It was wrong of me. And I guess … because I wanted you so badly, but I couldn't have you … it made me angrier."
Knowing that he wanted me for all that time, it's crazy.
"Then, after the shit with your dipshit ex, I felt … protective over you. And the more time we spent together, the harder it was to lie to myself. And then, when I saw Luke here … and I thought maybe … " He shakes his head. "I've never felt anything like it, Ari. Jealousy, rage. And I don't get jealous. I'm not that guy. Well, I didn't think I was … until then. And that's when I had to stop lying to myself and admit the truth. I was fucking gone for you."
My heart skips some seriously happy beats. "If I hadn't come to see you that day, what do you think would've happened?"
"Honestly? I don't know. I'm a stubborn bastard. I would have brooded for days about it. Probably been an asshole to everyone. Missy would've given me shit about being an ass and called Zeus, and he would've come and gotten the truth out of me and talked sense into me. Then, I'd have come crawling to your door."
I chuckle. "Zeus sounds like a smart guy."
"I wouldn't go that far." He laughs. "But he's a great fucking brother."
"You're lucky to have them, as they are you. I always wanted siblings, but … " I trail off.
He moves down the bed, rolling onto his side, putting us face-to-face. "Tell me to mind my own business … but where's your mom? Coach keeps his personal life pretty private. I honestly didn't know he had a daughter until the crash happened."
I laugh, and it's not humorous. "I'm not surprised. My dad's not one to talk about his family. Or, well … me." I rub a hand over my face. "Full disclosure?"
"Of course."
"My mom is dead. She, um … took her own life. I found her."
"Jesus, Ari." He presses his hand to my cheek, thumb brushing along my cheekbone. "I'm sorry that happened … to you."
"She was sick for as long as I could remember … bipolar disorder. My dad couldn't handle it, so he wasn't around much. So, it was mostly me and her. When she was up, it was great. But, when she was down … it was hard.
"I'd been studying for a test at a friend's the night I found her. Dad was away at a game. She was hanging in their closet."
He sucks in a breath, and I close my eyes, hating that I can still see the image of her there.
"That's when you started drinking."
Nodding, I swallow. "I had my first drink before her funeral. It made things easier, you know." I blink open my eyes, and the look in his nearly slays me. He cares about me. Really cares. "And, after she was gone, Dad was still never home, and I was alone … and sad … and alcohol helped. I didn't realize that I actually had a problem until the accident. So, yeah … "
I don't realize I'm crying until I feel him brush a tear away with his thumb.
"He let you down," he says with understanding.
I guess both our dads let us down, just went about it in different ways.
I nod and bite my lip.
"Your fight with your dad the other day … "
"Was about you. He … doesn't like me riding into work with you."
"Well, he's definitely not going to like this then."
He raises a brow, and I manage a laugh.
"Gotta say I'm a bit offended though. I get you're his daughter, and no man wants to know their little girl is doing the deed with a guy. But I've always had a great relationship with your dad."
"It's not me he's worried about."
Ares's brows pull together with confusion.
I sigh. "He's worried that I'll tarnish your reputation."
His frown deepens. "He said that?"
"Kind of."
"That's bullshit."
"No, really … even though I hate it, he actually has a point. My reputation is in the toilet. Yours is … you're a great guy, Ares. And you're in the public eye. Being with someone like me will hurt that."
"You're wrong."
"I'm right, and you know it. If I were a random person, the news of what I did probably would never have come to light. But I'm your coach's daughter, who was charged with a DUI and spent time in rehab. The press will go after us. It'll hurt you."
"I don't care."
"You should. It's your career. I just think … it's best if we keep this between us for now."
"No."
"Ares … "
"I don't like lying, and I don't fucking like secrets."
"I know." I take his face in my hands. "But it needs to be that way-for now."
"I'll talk to your dad. PR can handle it. They're great at swinging things to fit public image."
"My dad doesn't want me riding in your truck, Ares. Trust me; he will not want this. And I want us to have a chance. Get to know each other properly before other people … start interfering in our relationship."
"I don't like this, Ari."
He looks away from me. So, I climb onto him, straddling his body.
"I don't either. But I just think it's the best for now."
He stares up at me. "I won't lie. If someone asks if we're together, I will tell them yes. And I sure as fuck will be telling my family that you're mine."
"Okay," I say, agreeing.
"And, in a few weeks, Ari, we're telling your dad."
"A few weeks," I agree even though I don't think it's nearly enough time for me to figure out how to handle my dad. I haven't even spoken to him since our fight, except for that text.
Ignore and pretend shit isn't happening-that's how me and my dad coexist.
"I just don't want anyone to come between us," I say quietly.
He sits up, putting us chest-to-chest, one hand curling around the nape of my neck, holding me. "No one-and I mean, no fucking one, not even your dad-will come between us. I'm crazy about you, babe. That ain't gonna change."
"I'm crazy about you, too," I whisper.
"Glad to hear it." He kisses me deep and hard, his hand fisting into my hair.
I feel his erection press into my belly.
"Round two already?" I raise a brow.
"Definitely … " A kiss. "Ari?"
"Mmhmm."
"You know that yoga you do?"
"Yep."
"That means you're pretty flexible, right?"
"Uh-huh. Why?"
A grin spreads across his gorgeous face. "Because we're about to get adventurous as fuck. Hold on tight, babe."
I awake with Ares's warm, hard body wrapped around mine, making me smile.
My body is deliciously sore in the way it only can be from sex.
Especially amazing sex. Some of the things Ares did to me last night … the positions … my cheeks blush at the memories.
Ares really knows what he's doing in bed. I maxed out at five orgasms by the time he was done with me.
Five!
I hadn't even known that was possible.
Apparently, with him, it is.
It's still dark out, so I check the time on my cell. Four sixteen.
I carefully disentangle myself from Ares, making sure not to wake him. I grab a nightshirt from my drawer, pulling it on, and then make a quick trip to the bathroom. Then, I go into the kitchen and get myself a glass of water, leaning my hip against the counter while I take a sip.
I have this permanent smile on my face and a warm glow in my chest, and it's all because of that man sleeping in my bed.
I wander through my living room and over to the window, looking outside. The street is quiet. Not a soul around.