Rumor(37)

Carolyn leaned toward Josh this time. His gaze held on Grace, clearly dubious, but he leaned forward when Carolyn gestured him toward her. He was looking at the tabletop when her mother whispered, “I heard…my Gracie loves Josh more.”

Pleased with herself, Carolyn giggled. But Josh had frozen in place. And even when she sat straight and started working on another butterfly, Josh remained still, staring at the table. If brains generated steam, it would have been coming out his ears.

For a moment, Grace wondered if he could really be in such deep denial that the quasi declaration had scared him stiff.

Carolyn picked up a butterfly outline and looked at it as if she’d never seen one before. “What’s this?” Then she glanced around the table, becoming visibly jittery. “What’s all this? Why is the table such a mess?”

Josh looked up then, confusion in his gaze. He calmly put his hand over hers and pulled the butterfly from her hand. “Just one of my crazy projects, Carolyn. I’ll clean it up. I promise.”

Tammy stepped up to the table and patted Carolyn’s shoulder. ““I’ll take her, Josh. I think someone’s getting tired. She helped Carolyn to her feet with a “Don’t worry about the table, you two. I’ll get it. Go on and get some time together now.”

Grace pushed to her feet and walked to her mother’s side. She hugged her and kissed her cheek, and brushed her hair back. “Love you, Mom. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.” Her smile shook, but Grace could tell by the look in her mother’s eyes that she was lucid again. “He’s a good man, Gracie. The man you should have been with from the beginning.”

Grace nodded. In hindsight, that was probably true. But that was the past. And even if they did love each other now, that didn’t solve the problems standing between them. Love wouldn’t vanquish Josh’s sense of duty to Isaac. Love couldn’t bridge the one-hundred-and-twenty-mile gap between LA and San Diego. And love would certainly never cure Alzheimer’s.

She watched Tammy walk her mother toward her bedroom down the hall, thinking about her mother, Isaac, Josh…

“Grace.” Josh’s voice pulled her gaze. He stood by the front door, hands in his pockets. “Can I talk to you outside?”

She turned toward him, not sure what to make of that serious expression or the stern tone. “That sounds…ominous.”

He didn’t smile. Just held the front door open for her as she gathered her purse and passed onto the porch.

“I hope you’re not going to rake me over the coals for—”

Josh whipped her around and pulled her into his arms, then stepped her back until her spine pressed one wall of the porch.

“Is it true?” he asked, gazing down into her face.

“What?”

“That you love me?”

Her brow pulled. “You’re not serious.”

“So…what?” he asked, suddenly defensive. “You were playing your mother? Playing me?”

“Why are you being an idiot? We’ve loved each other for years.”

“No, I’ve loved you for years. I didn’t think—”

“You’re going to stand here and tell me you didn’t think I loved you when I asked you to move in with me after your surgery? Don’t even. You ran because you knew I loved you.”

“No.” He gripped her face, softened his voice. “I ran because I loved you. And I knew I couldn’t live in the same house with you and not…mess everything up.”

“Mess everything up between you and Isaac.”

He heaved a long exhale. “I knew your relationship with Beck was going to be rough. SEAL relationships always are. And I knew you deserved someone better. Someone who could give you a real marriage. But I didn’t know what a fuckup of a husband he was.”

“He did the best he could. I put that behind me a long time ago.” She poked his chest. “You’re the one who hasn’t been able to get over it.”

He searched her eyes with thoughts tumbling over each other in his head. Then his thumbs slid across her cheekbones with a tenderness that knotted her belly with want. His lips touched hers, once, twice, three times, before he pulled back and met her eyes again.

“I’m over it, Grace,” he said, firm and sure. “Come home with me.”

Her belly fluttered with the promise of his words. But she locked that dreamy little girl in her cage. In Grace’s world, believing meant losing. And she wasn’t ready to go through losing him again. Not now, when she lost her mother on a daily basis.

All she could do was take what he could give in the moment.