Ruining Me(3)

Looking up from reading my book I notice JT staring at me. His eyes are the perfect shade of a deep midnight blue. Sighing, I remember a time when I could look into those eyes for hours and see my future for miles and miles. Now I’m not so sure what I would see.



Once JT had the perfect girlfriend and in a moment she was gone. He tried for weeks to talk with me and even camped outside my bedroom window, literally popping his old boy scout tent outside. I thought my Dad was going to kill him. I finally told him there was someone else and that was it. If I had known it was that easy, I would have lied earlier. Well, really it wasn't a lie.



Glancing back down at my book I see a pair of black Nikes step next to me. I look up and have to shield my eyes from the sun to see JT glaring down. It’s hard to look into those eyes that I used to dream about so I look away because I just can’t bare it. He must have stepped in front of the sun’s rays because I can’t feel them on my face anymore.

"What can I do for you JT?”

My voice sounds breathy and my eyes shift back to him. He still does this to me. My body begins to slightly shake because he makes me nervous and at the same time I can’t help but to still want him. In that second I remember every moment. We shared our first kiss in seventh grade and the innocence of that kiss was what made it so memorable.



"How was your summer, Jay?” His voice sounds so angry. It startles me for a second, but he continues to talk to me. "Kip says he saw you downtown at O’Malley’s a couple of times. Guess you were giving that fake ID a workout, huh?"



Kip is JT's older brother who is in college. I still talk to Kip when I see him. We don’t ever discuss JT. He slowly lowers his body down to look me in the eye. "Are you too good to hang out with us kiddies?" I don’t think he realizes that his words are weapons and each one cuts me deep enough to bleed.



"Wow, JT, I didn't know you missed me that much. I figured you were too busy screwing Stacie all summer," I say sarcastically. I couldn't help myself because I am bleeding from the inside out. The people I do hang out with like to gossip and through the grapevine I heard this from a friend of Kip’s this past summer, but as soon as I say it I wish I didn't. It shows that I care. JT's cheeks redden and he leans in closer.



"Anytime you want that to be you, just let me know." He then stands up and walks away. There was a time that I prayed for that to happen, for me to be that girl, but that time is past.



Before I know it schools over and I am walking out to my car thinking about my last couple of classes. I ended up in another class with Cal and fortunately for me he just shook his head and left me alone. Fifth period was my Art class and both Reed and Molly were in it. My Art teacher, Miss Kell, talked about our goals for this year so nobody had a chance to talk much in her class. Last period was gym and of course I would end up having it with JT He didn't say anything else to me.



With my thoughts on everything that happened today I almost missed the piece of paper caught underneath my yellow Ford Mustang’s windshield, knowing what it was before I even read it. Damn, I was hoping this year he would quit sending them. I yank it off and start to wad up the paper in my hand. Last year I ignored his little notes, there were only a couple. Praying this year he would give me a freaking break, I realize now that's not going to happen. My mind knows I should just throw it away, but I open it anyway.



I can't stop thinking about you.



He's smart. The notes are typed. No way to trace it back, even if I wanted to do something about it which I don’t. Ripping it up and tossing it to the ground I get in my car and drive away.



Not feeling like going home I head downtown. No one is at home anyway because both of my parents own and operate a small airfield outside of our town. My mother and father are both licensed pilots for the rich and famous. Georgia is the new Hollywood “It” spot for making movies and my parents are cashing in on that. Good for them and even better for me, because I'm home alone most of the time. It doesn’t bother me and it's probably for the best. When we do spend time together lately we just end up fighting.



Traffic is light this time of day and I decide to drive to my favorite bar. We live in a small town that is right outside a big college town. So within twenty minutes I can be at some of the best college bars around. My cousin hooked me up with a fake ID a year ago. O’Malley’s is where the young college crowd hangs out and it’s my favorite. Eighteen to enter and twenty-one to drink and my ID says I’m both. O’Malley’s looks like an Irish pub during the day, but at night they have some great bands and it’s a cool place to play pool and dance.