Ruined: Loving An Alpha Male(85)

“I’m so sorry, baby. I promise.”

He lay back in the bed and brought me with him. He lay on his side and continued to hold me until I finally got quiet. He kissed my forehead. He caressed my back, my legs, and my arms as if he was also feeling me for the last time. I finally moved away from him and looked up at the ceiling. We didn’t speak for a long time, until I heard a buzzing sound from his pocket.

He removed his phone and answered gruffly, “Reap.”

My heart stopped, and my stomach churned at the sound of his SEAL call name.

“Yeah, I’ll be down in ten.”

He hung up the phone and caressed my stomach, but he didn’t say anything else.

I finally looked over at him.

“Please be careful.”

“I plan on it.” He leaned into me and placed a sweet kiss on my lips. “I love you, Allura.”

“I love you too, Mason.”



****



It’s been four weeks since I’ve seen or spoken to Mason. He hasn’t called, written, mailed a post card, or sent smoke signals… nothing.

I’m going out of my mind. I don’t know if he’s dead or alive, and it’s killing me slowly. I’ve been staying at his apartment every night since I got back from Miami, hoping for his return. All I do is work, go to school, and wait for him. I barely sleep because of the nightmares. I dream that he’s been dead all this time, and I’d never know for sure, or that someone captured him and won’t let him go. I mean the images that arise from the depths of my imagination are unbearable. I barely eat because I keep thinking about the nightmares I have, and then my stomach gets upset.

My friends are worried sick. Lou is worried sick. But I don’t know what else to do. He promised me, and if nothing else, I only have his word to hold on to. I don’t have anyone’s number. I continue to call Mason’s cell, hoping someone would pick up the phone. But after a while, it announced that the voice-mail box was full of messages, which didn’t bode well for keeping my hope alive.

I stopped at the liquor store on my way home from class. It seemed that the times I was shit-faced were when I could sleep peacefully because my dreams never found me. So I planned to drown my sorrows tonight in hopes that maybe—just maybe—fate would be kind to me.

As I opened the door, I knew fate hated me. There standing in the dining room were features I only saw on a TV screen. I closed the door and walked further into the room, taking off my coat.

I said, “Hello, Marcus.”

“Wow, I guess you can tell us apart,” he said simply.

“Are you coming to tell me that Mason is dead?” I said, cutting to the chase.

“No. Nothing like that,” he told me, coming closer to me.

He smiled that heart-stopping way his brother does, and I almost broke down.

“So you’re saying he’s alive?”

I looked into his eyes, hoping to get some type of solace from them, but I didn’t. I started to feel regret.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that either. But he’s breathing. Look…um…I’m sorry to come here like this, but he wanted me to give you this.”

I looked at the envelope in Marc’s hand, and I recognized Mason’s handwriting. He simply wrote “Allura” on the outside, and I knew what was in that envelope. I didn’t want it. I shook my head. When he saw I wasn’t reaching for it, he placed it on the island next to me.

“He wanted me to tell you that this place is yours.”

I started to get angry.

“I don’t want this place. Does he think he can buy me?”

“No. I don’t think he’s trying to buy you, Allura.”

“My name is Max, and I don’t want this.”

He put his hands up, seeing that I was getting agitated.

“Okay, Max.”

I shook my head and held on the counter to steady myself.

“I can’t believe this. He’s going back on his word…that son of a bitch.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah well…” I grabbed the envelope, ripped it into as many pieces as I could, and handed it back to him. “You can tell him that if he doesn’t have the balls to tell me that he doesn’t want me in person, then fuck him! Thank you very much!”

I placed his keys on the counter and put my coat on.

“Wait, Max,” Marcus started, but I put my hand up to stop him.

I took a deep breath and spat, “Please! There’s no need, really. I was dumb enough to fall for someone I knew never really wanted me. I mean, look at me; why would he be happy with someone like me, right? And today it is crystal clear that’s the case.”

I looked into Marcus’ eyes. He looked so much like Mason. I wanted it to be him standing in front of me; not Marc. I felt the tears starting to fall.