Ruin .(79)

    “Bad experience?”

    “You could say that.” Gabe bit off a curse. Then he huffed out a long breath. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t recognize it when it stares me in the face. She loves you.”

    “I hope so.” Feeling insecure, I refused to make eye contact. “Because I love her too. Is that crazy?”

    “Not any crazier than you talking to yourself this morning.”

    I hadn’t been talking to myself. How was it my fault that they were too sleepy to notice the nurse walk in? The drugs weren’t making me nauseated like they usually did, that had to be a good sign, right?

    “I’m gonna go grab some grub. Why don’t you shower so that your girlfriend actually wants to lie next to you.” Gabe’s eyebrows wiggled. “And I’ll get you some coffee.”

    “Good man.” I laughed.

    Gabe left. I moved to press my call button just as Angela walked back in the room.

    “Need help?”

    “That I do.” I smiled. “I just need to get showered and I was wondering… would it be possible for me to wear something other than a hospital gown today? I mean, now that the drugs are in my system I’m just hanging out until surgery, right?”

    “Of course.” Angela winked. “I think jeans and a white t-shirt are just what the doctor ordered.”

    I exhaled in relief. “Thanks.”

    “No problem! Now let’s get you ready for that future wife of yours.”

    “Never going to live that down, am I?” I teased.

    “I like it when people speak things into their lives. You want her to be your wife, it will happen. I know it may sound silly, but I admire your faith. Not just in yourself, but in other people. It’s commendable, and you need to know — faith doesn’t go unnoticed. Just like selflessness — it’s always noticed, always rewarded, and should never be taken for granted.”

    I smiled, though I was a bit confused. Seriously, this nurse was deep. I’d spent a lot of time at hospitals and never met anyone so encouraging. She just made me feel good. Like the path I was taking was the right one. She didn’t give me sad eyes, the kind that doctors give you when they know they’re going to see you for the last time. Maybe that’s why I liked her. Her eyes held hope and amusement as if she knew some giant secret that I was about to find out.



    ****





    We spent the day in bed. All four of us. It was comical to say the least. As promised, I was allowed to wear a t-shirt and jeans, which made it easier to hold Kiersten without mooning everyone else. She was sitting between my legs and leaning back against my chest. Every once in a while I’d feel her hand tap our cadence against my leg as if she was reminding me that we keep our own time. That time was ours.

    Halfway through the last episode of Pinky and the Brain that we could find on YouTube, my dad waltzed in, a few people behind him.

    What was he doing?

    “Thought you kids would be hungry.” He grinned and moved out of the way as people began setting up something I can only describe as a buffet fit for a king.

    “Is that—” Gabe pointed at a giant Salmon fillet.

    “Anthony’s catering.” Dad nodded proudly. “At your service.”

    “Best. Food. Ever.” Gabe’s mouth dropped open again as he greedily watched the food.

    The smell was heavenly. Damn. I owed my dad big for this.

    Small plastic cups were handed to everyone, and my dad pulled out a bottle of chilled champagne. “Now, I’m not one for underage drinking.” And he really wasn’t. The one time he caught me partying I’d been grounded for two months. “But, I thought we’d do a toast to my son, Wes.”

    Kiersten squeezed my leg.

    Champagne was poured into every glass. I knew that I would only be able to eat and drink for another hour before I was told to cut it for my surgery, so I snatched the cup.

    “May you have happy dreams and wake up refreshed and ready for surgery. To my son, my fighter, my hero.” Dad lifted the cup into the air.

    “Cheers,” everyone said in unison. But I couldn’t find my voice. I stared hard at my dad. He was the brave one, not me. He’d watched his wife and son die and now his only living blood relative was going in for a life-altering surgery. Me? Brave? Nah, the ones that stay behind, the ones that fight alongside you, those are the brave ones. It’s easy to go into surgery, you fall asleep. My battle was almost over, I’d tell my body to fight, and then I’d let the doctors do their jobs.