Roommate(11)

I had a feeling tonight would be a break-it kind of evening, and I didn’t know if I was ready for that.





6





Meghan



I knew I should have moved, or even just looked away, but I couldn’t force myself to do either of those things.

We held each other’s gazes for long seconds, and it was only when I heard the slight crinkling of the plastic bottle I held did I realize I was crushing it in my hand. That had me coming out of my frozen stupor for a second, but then I felt the arousal tenfold, and hated that I couldn’t control myself better.

My shirt rubbed against my breasts, making my nipples harden. I felt dirty, but in a good way, in a way that told me I wanted something I couldn’t have. Brendan started heading inside, and I knew I just needed to get to my room so I didn’t make this an unbelievably awkward moment. But, of course, as soon as I left the kitchen, Brendan was stepping through the front door.

Lowering my head so I was looking at the floor, I planned on just mumbling goodnight and being done with it.

“Hey,” Brendan said, his deep voice causing me to still.

“Yeah?” I felt very nervous for some reason. I didn’t turn around fully, just looked over my shoulder at him.

He knitted his brows, probably wondering why the hell I was acting weird. And I was acting weird as hell. I felt like he could hear my heart racing, like he could see the beads of sweat starting to form on my body. This reaction had been instant, and I hated that I was acting like this; my emotions, feelings, even the way my body was responding, was out of my control.

It was like that one look he gave me had everything in me rushing around, becoming alive, and feeling if I didn’t just man-up and tell him how I felt it would eat me alive.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, the worry in his voice very evident.

“Nothing,” I said, my voice slightly raised, feeling like I was on a cliff and about to fall right over. His brows dipped even lower.

“Meghan, what the fuck is wrong? You’re acting weird as hell.”

I shook my head and ran my sweaty palms over my legs. “I’m fine,” I lied, but I knew it wasn’t convincing. The more I stood here, staring at him, thinking about him wanting some other girl, the more I wanted to tell him how I felt. I wanted to tell Brendan it should be the two of us and that no one else would get us. But I didn’t even know what the hell that meant. All I knew was I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I was afraid. The scenario of me actually spitting the words out, and admitting I loved him, was so terrifying I felt my hands start to shake.

I hadn’t planned on telling him, at least not now, not yet, but then hearing about this mystery woman of his, the fact I might see him with her, hear them together … yeah, I couldn’t handle that, didn’t even want to imagine that.

He took a step closer and shook his head. “What the hell is going on? You drunk?” he asked and looked me up and down. I know it was more out of concern, but him looking at me had this chill racing up my spine. It had my already lit arousal burning brighter.

And, of course, my nerves were shot, my throat was dry and tight, and I felt like if I tried to say anything I’d trip over my words.

“Turn around and look at me,” he said with a voice harder than I’d ever experienced directed my way. He took a step closer, his brow furrowed, his big body tight. “Did something happen at school today?” I could feel the anger and heat coming from him. “Did someone fuck with you?” His voice was deadly quiet.

I tuned around and shook my head. “No,” I said softly, not trusting my voice. “I’m fine.”

He shook his head, stopping me from saying anything else to assure him I was fine with regard to someone hurting me.

He eyed me up and down again. “I don’t believe you, because you don’t look fine. You look scared or nervous, or like something pretty fucking serious is going on, Meghan.” He took another step closer, and I felt the heat from his body move along mine. I shivered, curled my hands into fists by my sides, and tried to work up the courage to tell him how I felt. I knew if it didn’t go well, I couldn’t stay here. I was sure he wouldn’t kick me out, but I would feel too awkward being here after being turned down.

But being homeless wasn’t why I was so afraid to say anything.

Losing Brendan, having our relationship change, scared the shit out of me.

He grabbed my shoulders in a gentle hold and leaned down so we were eye-to-eye. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

A moment of silence passed, and I nodded. “I know.”

He gave my shoulder a squeeze and slid his hands down my arms, the electricity I felt from his touch spearing every part of me.