Roman-2(Lane Brothers, Book 5)(129)

How I’m going to do this is beyond me though. He’s right. I feel as sexy as a sweaty gym sock, my confidence is at an all-time low and I’m on the verge of dropping my load and becoming a sleepless haggard zombie.

If he’s finding me distasteful now I’d hate to think what he’ll see after I give birth and the excess baby weight makes everything look like a warzone.

Oh God. I need reinforcements.

***

“He did not! oh, I’ma kill a dick!” Lila yells, her eyes shooting sparks of venom as she leaps to her feet and starts pacing, her movements jerky and agitated. “It’s not true Beck, you’re looking great, I swear you are.”

My eyes are drier than a whale bone when she leans down and pulls me into a hug, her arms squeezing me that extra bit when I let out a stuttering sigh and close my eyes against my hurt.

“Oh hush up and stop frothing at the mouth Lila. He deserves to get in a barb or two after my stupidity and we both know it. We had something great and I ruined it with my lack of trust.”

“Yeah but…okay, so maybe he has a reason to be mad but that doesn’t mean he gets to call you fat or ugly or anything like that! He’s, he’s…”

She starts pacing again and I smile, taking note of the green pallor of her skin and the fact that she hasn’t once offered me something to eat, a sin in the world of the true southern lady.

I have a suspicion I know why she’s not offering food but I’ll hold my peace and wait for her and Grey to tell their news. And then I’ll go crazy and start buying truckloads of stuff.

“I don’t think he’s going to come around. It’s been a week and while he’s given up moving beds he sleeps as far away from me as possible and he doesn’t talk to me except to aske when I’m leaving or if I have those papers signed. Truthfully, tonight is the last chance I have before I have to accept defeat and let go. Even mama and daddy aren’t so sure about this anymore.”

That had been a bummer of epic proportions. You know that if a little fire cracker like mama is throwing in the towel that that deer is dead and ready to be skinned and butchered.

So I’ve given myself tonight to make him see the true extent of my shame and grief and that’s it. If he still isn’t budging I’m gonna have to accept it and leave. Even if it breaks my heart.

“It’s not like he’s blameless you know. He knew about Brand’s illness and didn’t say a word to you!”

“Yeah, well, technically he did tell me that day on the phone. He thought I’d found out and he admitted-”

“Oh bullshit! He kept you in the dark and then expected you to forgive him after a little while. Just like men do. They screw up and put on the puppy dog eyes and wham, they think everything’s fine, but you make one teeny tiny little mistake and he’s turned into an iceberg!”

I appreciate her unwavering loyalty but it’s exhausting trying to get her to see my share of blame.

And she’s also a little right. If I can forgive Devon for keeping the extent of dad’s health issues away from me he should be capable of giving me some leeway.

But apparently he doesn’t see it that way hence the grovelling crawl I’ve been doing all week.

“Lila would you quit ranting and help me out babe? I have a dinner to plan and since I can’t exactly wear a pregnancy dress to look sexy I think you’re gonna need to find me something that doesn’t make me look like a fat cow.”

Tonight is seduction night with a twist. I’ve decided that if I can lure him with my body that I’ll use my complete willingness to prostrate myself at his feet as a draw.

I have nothing else left.

We sleep together but he won’t so much as touch me. If I move over in my sleep he pushes me away and goes right back to sleep. If I cook he gets take out. If I do his laundry he takes it right back to the laundry and washes it again.

And don’t even get me started on the way he smiled when I came home with his favourite desert and tried to give it to him.

The garbage can had eaten very well that night.

By his own admission I have nothing he wants save for the baby growing in my belly and that leaves sadly little to work with here. I’d never use my kid to trap a man and I won’t start now so if I can’t get him to listen to me tonight it’s over and I know it.





Chapter Thirty Two




My stomach is a ball of knots by the time dinner rolls around. I’ve cooked fish and chips and made-from scratch-his favourite desert, hoping that he’ll take pity on me and at least try it before all my hard work goes into the bin.

The table is set and the music is on. Day and Ryan are out for the night and have agreed to give us till tomorrow morning and I even went against the grain and bought a cute little dress from the maternity boutique for the occasion.