Roman-2(Lane Brothers, Book 5)(124)

I don’t get a reply and gasp in outrage when I pause at the door and hear the squeal of tires and see my car backing out of the drive, Ryan giving me a thumbs up and a wide smirk.

“I’ll be back for you in an hour hun! Go get em!”

“Sonofabitch.”

“Becky?”

I close my eyes and freeze when that soft hesitant voice meets my ears and I have to battle back the urge to cry. Breathing deeply through my nose I let out my breath and turn, willing myself to stay calm when my mother’s familiar, lovely face comes into view.

She’s exactly as I remember, exactly the way she’s always been with her salt and pepper hair falling just below her ears in a straight bob and-her face looks pale and strained, adding on at least ten years to her previously ageless face and I realize something must be wrong.

“Hi mama. I’m sorry I just showed up. If this is a bad time-”

“No! Please…don’t leave. I’ve missed you so much Becky.” She whispers raggedly, her eyes pleading with me when I would have turned away.

“I…I need to talk. To you and dad. Please.”

My voice comes out rock steady just the way I’d been practising all the way over in the car but inside I’m a jumbled mess of the old insecurity and fear of failing.

“Of course, uh, come in darling, dad is uh, you go on in to the formal sitting room and I’ll go call him.” she scuttles away before I can ask why she wants me in the room only used for guests and I find myself trudging in and sitting with a sigh, half afraid the antique kindling beneath me is gonna shatter and dump me on my ass.

Some furniture is just for show and definitely not designed for my pregnant ass but I stay where I am for a good ten minutes before checking my watch and peeking at the door.

The house is silent, totally at odds with the usual hustle and bustle of the staff and mama’s fundraising efforts. There are usually at least two assistants running around in harried panic and the housekeeper, Annie would have come to offer me something.

A shiver wracks me despite the heat and I fidget, blowing out an impatient breath when another five minutes pass with no results. Heaving myself up and out of the seat I let out a groan and thank God I made it.

It’s as I’m making my way to the front door that I hear the first sounds since getting here and I turn to see mama rushing towards me, dad a ways behind her.

“No, wait Becky! Please, just wait.”

I turn at the door and stand mute, waiting for her to make her way to me and drag me-

“No mama, I can’t sit in there. My ass is way too heavy for those sticks.” I grumble, pulling away gently.

Her eyes mist at the mention of my pregnancy and she pauses, her eyes skipping down to rest on my belly.

“Oh my baby, you’re-”

“Huge. I know.” I snort, trembling when she rests a gentle hand on me. Junior, the little attention hog chooses that moment to stretch and do a somersault in my overly cramped confines and mama giggles.

“No, you look lovely.” She whispers, smiling softly.

The expression on her face is wistful and I feel like shit when I realize that with my stupid stubbornness she’s lost out on almost all of my pregnancy.

Stupid.

“Thanks, but I have a mirror mama. This kid is like two times too big for the condo and he eats like a champion.”

“He’s a Slade then.”

The sound of dad’s voice is so loud I finally turn my eyes towards him and gasp when I see him properly for the first time in months. Gone is the robust giant of a man I remember and in his place is a sallow, leaner version.

“What the hell?”

“Ah sugarplum, let’s go on into the kitchen and talk while mama whips us up some coffee and cookies. I’ve got a lot to tell you and a lot of apologizing to do.”

I don’t eat or drink anything because I can’t possibly get anything down with this lump in my throat.

He tells me everything about the last few months and the pain and testing and…but I won’t focus on any of that, not after they tell me that the treatments worked and he’s in remission.

And then he apologizes for everything and I cry harder when he admits that the only reason he was so hard on us all is that he wanted to be sure we’d be okay when he was gone.

I can’t think about that without feeling my heart try to beat straight through my chest in fear. I’ve spent the last seven months of my life resenting my parents for hurting me when all along they’ve been going through hell.

Dad could have died thinking I hate him and don’t want him and mama in my life. My kid could have been born without his grand pappy and now, after messing up so monumentally there’s a chance he’s gonna be born with his time split between two households.