Roman-2(Lane Brothers, Book 5)(123)

Day sits back with a huff and folds his arms over his chest, his bright blue eyes going hard and speculative as he keeps my gaze pinned.

“I dunno hun, why don’t ya tell me, because from the looks of those suitcases I saw standing beside your bed it seems you’re tucking bloody tail and running again.” He growls, his accusations hitting their mark.

“He doesn’t want-”

“He bloody loves you! What more do you want? He almost went mental when you pulled a runner on him and then finally when he could breathe easy again you dropped him at the first chance and ran off to Vegas-”

“I didn’t get married.”

“No, but you would have if that Dillon git hadn’t turned you down.” He yells and for the first time I see the dark side of laid back easy going David Baxter. “I love you, we all do but you have to know that if you cannot be the woman Dev needs its best that you move on and let him move on too. He was gutted after mum and dad passed but he picked up and went on so that he could care for us.

“Then he met GiGi and convinced himself that everything would be fine. She threw his offer of marriage back in his face and left him. You want to know what he said after that? He said that he would never do that to himself again, he would never trust another woman enough to be made to feel unworthy.”

My heart clenches at that because no matter how much I want to justify myself I know that what I did was on the same level. He’d let his guard down and spent months courting me because he wanted what he’s sworn never to want, someone who loved him, and I’d gone and thrown it back in his face.

I’d been angry and hurt and if I wasn’t so brain-dead from hormones I would have known that Devon would never do that. He’s honest to a fault. If he hadn’t wanted me he would have let me down easy and severed ties before finding another woman.

Jesus, I am a total idiot.

“Day-”

“Nah, listen I love you and I will always be here for you but make no mistake, Dev is and always will be my choice. That’s what you should feel and if you can’t maybe it’s best that you move on from us.” He says heavily, his mouth a thin slash of anger.

And I understand, as much as it hurts, that he’s right. Devon should come first with those he’s committed to. He should come first with me; he should have come first with me.

How am I gonna fix this?

“I love him. I want to fix this so bad Day, I just don’t know how. I’m, I’m so scared that he’s done and won’t…”

I can’t finish because I feel so wretched it’s impossible to speak around the heartache choking me.

At my words I see a smile bloom across his face and he nods his head subtly. When a pair of arms wrap around me I almost fold with relief, but it’s not Dev, its Ryan.

“Good, then let’s talk about what a brilliant lass like you will do to keep the man she loves. Incidentally, before we start, you should know that if you’re planning to keep your pride we shouldn’t even be planning.”

I groan at his words and my shoulders slump because if they’re throwing my pride out the back door already this is gonna be painful.

Aw crumpets.

“Lay it on me.”





Chapter Twenty Nine




Thanks to Devon’s speech yesterday and the fact that I’m shamefaced and still smarting from the hour long talk with his brothers I decided that I need to address a few other things in my life before I embark on the craziness that I’m planning for Devon.

So I’m now sitting in the passenger seat of my car, Ryan having driven me thanks to their veto on me going anywhere alone from now on, staring at the house I spent the first eighteen years of my life in.

My intentions are to do what I should have done months, no years ago, and talk to my parents like an adult. Devon’s right, I need to let go of this baggage I’ve been lugging around for years and that can only start if I trust the people I love instead of running from shit in case they disappoint me with their responses.

I really hate that he’s right but at the same time I’m grateful that he knows me well enough to see through my bullshitgood girl routine to the girl who’s frightened of being anything less than perfect.

“Get out of the car hun. I’ll be here.” Ryan says softly, giving me a gentle nudge. “You can do this.”

“Come in with me.”

“Nope. This is all you. If you hadn’t pissed Dev off so much the old chap would have gladly held your hand and gone in their as your shield but now…you’re on your own. Go.”

“You’ll be here?” I ask, throwing the door open and getting out.