Roman-1(Lane Brothers, Book 5)(30)

I’ve never broken, not once in all the time I was running ops or when Dyson was beating the crap out of me. My personality and the training I endured always kept me in control and gave me the ability to stay solid when I should have shattered.

But I can’t fight against this or close myself off. I feel every moment of my agony when she kisses me gently and lays the chain in my open hand.

“Your mom said I can stay in the cottage, and I think that’s for the best while Jim and your brothers finish this.”

“Mel.”

“I’ll come and see you, and I hope that we can be friends.”

Friends? She wants to be friends when I love her so much that I know my life will never be complete without her? Does she really think a man as determined as me will accept her walking away when I know she loves me?

I feel myself nod and give her what she needs right now. One day, when she needs me again, I will be there for her, that’s the vow I make to myself and one I will keep no matter what.

“Okay, baby girl. Okay. I want you to know that I love you, Melissa Dobson, and that I always have. I won’t ever stop.”

“Roman…”

“Now go on home with Ma and get some rest before she comes and adds to my injuries.”

I want to touch her and lay my hand on her belly, just to feel the child we created and know that my family is safe, but I resist, knowing that I have to earn that right.

I will earn that right.

I have to, because that angel walking away from me as I lay broken and empty is the only thing that kept me alive and made me keep fighting when my body tried to give up on me.

“She dumped you, huh?” I hear from the door and I look over to see Miah leaning against the doorjamb, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

To anyone who doesn’t know him, he looks all relaxed and easy on the eyes, but I know better. Right now my brother is seething and the target of his rage is yours truly—his best friend. Hi brother.

I deserve his anger and I expect recriminations and blame. He surprises me and closes the door before taking a seat beside me and shaking his head.

“I should be so angry right now. You lied to me, Roman, and you betrayed our code. And yet I can’t be angry, not when I am so damned glad you survived.”

I snort and grab his hand, squeezing tightly.

“I’m sorry. I know you won’t believe this, but I want you to know that if I had another chance to do it over, I’d change almost all of it. I made decisions that were unfair to everyone I love, and I understand the backlash I should be getting.”

Miah grunts and sits back, propping one booted foot beside my cast.

“That woman has been through hell these last few days, and that’s without the shit she suffered in that cabin—alone, scared, and worrying about your useless hide. You have a lot to make up for with her, Roman.”

“I won’t just go off anymore.”

“Roman, going off at all now is a bad idea and you know it. When you have a woman and she loves you enough to bear your child, you owe her a lot more than half of yourself. I gave up the job even before Clari got pregnant, and I don’t regret it one bit. I have responsibilities that mean more to me than being the big bad hero, and I thank God every day that Clari sees enough in me to want more than half of me.”

“What would I do if I left the job? It’s all I know, all I’m any good at. I like the police work, but let’s be honest, it’s not a mission. I love the mystery and thrill of the chase and—”

“Well then keep doing that and let Melissa move on, Roman. The woman just told you to let her go because she loves you enough not to hold you back or change you. Let that be enough,” Miah murmurs, looking me dead in the eye so I know how serious he is. “Commitment is a calling that no man should take lightly, and if you can’t want more than seeing your family more than two weeks of every month, then let her go.”

“I think I have a lot of thinking to do,” I finally answer.

“Yea. Good thing you’re bedridden for a while then, huh? Now get your ass some rest. Wake me when you get hungry and I’ll have Lon bring you some of Ma’s soup. She’s making it special for your dumb ass,” Miah mutters, leaning back in the chair and closing his eyes.

“Were Lon and William Sparrow really there? It’s still sketchy, but I could swear I saw those ugly assholes hovering over me like two of the nastiest looking nurses I ever saw.”

Miah chuckles and cracks one eyelid, his expression full of mischief.

“Yea. Just imagine how impressed Mellie will be when she hears that her white knights saved your ugly ass. Why, I think Will may have a real shot with her now that he’s turning away from the dark side.”