Renegade Lady (Renegade Sons MC 1)(37)

I know he’s hurting.  His woman is dead, and he was fucking me when she was dying, but it wasn’t my fault. I don’t care what he says. I didn’t cause her death.  I never would’ve let him touch me if I’d known they were still together.  At least, that’s what I tell myself.  To be honest, I’m not sure I could ever tell him no.  Even now, knowing he’s as much of a jerk as my father is, I’m not sure I could turn him away.
Realizing that, I’ve been doing my best to stay clear of him.  I probably won’t be able to avoid him for long, because tomorrow, I have to tell Chipper my choice. I have to leave the club or join it. See, the club has rules.  Women can’t be members, but they can be property.  There’s only two ways to become Renegade Sons property. One is by becoming an old lady. The other is to become a whore.  What you can’t be is unclaimed. Now, I could go out into the world on my own if I wanted to, but I’d no longer be a part of the club. I’d still have Chipper, but my time with the rest of the boys would be cut back.  I wouldn’t be allowed at the club house, except for family gatherings.  There’d be no more poker parties at the club house with Timber, no more bartending lessons with Preach, and no more midnight bonfires in the club yard with Reese and Pebbles.
Chipper doesn’t want me to become a club girl. He wants me to get out and get away from all of this, but this is my family. Timber, Chipper, and Reese are three important men in my life that I can’t live without. I’ve made my choice. I’m just not willing to give all that up.  Really, I don’t have many options.  I hate school, so college is out.  There’s no damn way I’m spending the rest of my life flipping burgers, and that’d be the only job I could get without any kind of education.  I could always dance at The Kitty Kat, but those girls end up being club whores before long anyway.  So I don’t see the reason in putting it off.  
I think Chipper knows I’m leaning towards becoming a whore, because he’s been talking to me about becoming one of the boys’ old lady instead.  He says that there are a lot of members that will take me, but I don’t want any of them.  We fought about that too. Maybe I still am holding out hope for Kidd? Nah, that can’t be it. I need to give up that fantasy. I know what being an old lady entails, and no way in hell am I going to be some house wife while my husband goes out and fucks around on me every night.
I shake off thoughts of Kidd, Sarah, and even Mindy, as I snatch my diploma from the superintendent’s hand, and march off the stage.  Unlike the rest of the parents that sit in their seats and clap, my family comes running.  Before my feet even hit the auditorium floor, I’m tossed over Chipper’s shoulders and Timber shouts, “It’s time to fucking party!”
They don’t even give me time to change, so I end up on the back of Chipper’s hog in my gown and cap.  We barely make it out of the parking lot before my hats flies off.  I watch it sail into the sky, and a big smile crosses my face.  
Thirty minutes later, I’m sitting at the club talking to Chipper.  I knew we were going to have this conversation, but I didn’t realize that it would be so soon.  “Can’t we talk about it later?”
He shakes his head.  “No, darlin’.  We need to talk about it now.  If you’re going to college, we got to get your applications and shit started.”
“I know,” I whisper, trying to stall.  I don’t want to disappoint him, but I don’t want to leave the only family I’ve ever known.
“So Jenna, hun, what have you decided?” Chipper says softly.
I sigh and nod. “I’ve decided to stay.”
His face goes hard and turns red. “The fuck you will. I love you girl. You know that, but I want better for you.”
“I’m not leaving my family,” I say quietly. “I can’t leave you.”
He grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze.  “You don’t have to leave forever.  Just go to school for a while, and then you can come home.”#p#分页标题#e#
“I don’t want to leave for even a day.”
“Then go to community college.  It’ll be just like it was in high school.  You go during the day, but you’ll be home every night.”
I shake my head.  “I hated school. You know that.  If it wasn’t for you and Mindy, I would’ve quit a long time ago.”
“College will be different,” he pushes.