Renegade Lady (Renegade Sons MC 1)(34)

After nearly two hours of crying and fuming, I’ve had enough.  I decide to go find out what the hell his problem is. I hop off my bed, grab my clothes, then quickly get dressed. I’m just walking out of my room when Chipper comes in the front door. For once in two weeks, he isn’t drunk, but he does look like shit.  
“Where’re you going?” he asks, as he shrugs off his cut and throws it on the couch.
“I got to talk to Kidd,” I say, sounding angry and maybe a little hurt.
“He’s not at the clubhouse, darlin’,” he says with a shake of his head.  “He’s with Sarah.”
I assumed he was going to Sarah, but hearing Chipper say it still hurts.   More than the hurt, it pisses me off. How the hell could he do this to me?  “Where are they at?”
His brow rises.  “You haven’t heard?”
I shake my head in the negative.  “Nope.”
“Sarah was in a car wreck, a bad one.  The doctors doubt she’ll make it through the night.”
All of my anger vanishes, and I’m filled with a sense of self-loathing.  Here I was, worried about what happened between me and Kidd, and she’s dying.  “I’m going to the hospital.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I have to be there for Kidd,” I try to explain.
“I’m telling you, Jenna, that’s not a good idea.”
I know better than to argue with Chipper, so I go to my bed.  I sit there silently, waiting for the sound of the TV in his bedroom to turn on.  Once I know he’s out for the night, I’m going to the hospital.  Good idea or not, I won’t let Kidd go through this on his own.  
 
Kidd
 
I run my fingers through my hair, frustration and anger eating away at me.  I should have left Sarah in Mateland.  If I had, she wouldn’t be dead.  This is my fault.  A good woman is dead because of me.  As I walk out of the hospital, our last conversation flashes through my mind.  
She was so fucking upset.  She didn’t want to leave, kept telling me she had nowhere to go.  I knew she was telling the truth, but I didn’t care.  The only thing that mattered to me was getting to Jenna.  Hell, I was already on my bike heading to Chippers’ before Sarah even pulled out of the parking lot.  
The last words she said to me was that she hated me.  Well, now I hate myself.
I’m just stepping into the club house when Jenna comes running down the hallway.  Shit!  I don’t need this now.  “What the hell are you doing here?”
“I went to the hospital, but you weren’t there, so I came here to check on you. I needed to make sure you’re okay,” she says, stopping in front of me.  
“Do I look fucking okay to you?”
She takes a step back.  “I was worried about you being here all alone.”
My anger is at a boiling point, anger at myself.  “Did you ever consider I might have wanted to be alone?”
“I’m sorry. I thought you might need me.”
“I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone. Sarah is fucking dead, and you’re here trying to comfort me.  Did you ever think that if you hadn’t been fucking me earlier, she might still be breathing?”
She shakes her head and tears come to her eyes.  “No, no, no….   Don’t say that. Please, don’t say that.”
“Did you even once consider that if you had left us the hell alone, I may have claimed her?” I know she doesn’t deserve my words, but I’m too keyed up to stop.  “If I did, she’d be alive right now.  I’d have a woman in my bed instead of a little kid that I could barely even get hard for.”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I want to take them back.  Nothing I said was true; far from it.  But when I look at her face I know it’s too late.  I lashed out at her, and I did it in a way that I’ll never be able to take back.  “I’m sorry,” I finally croak out.
She doesn’t respond, just shakes her head and turns to run out the door. I can’t let her leave like this.  I’m just getting outside when I see a few of the brothers roll into the parking lot.  Before I can say anything, she climbs on the back of Timber’s bike and shouts for him to go.  Fuck!
Reese climbs off his bike and walks towards me.  He motions towards the tail lights of Timber’s bike.  “What’s going on with Jenna?”
“I’m a dick.”  I say then turn and wall back into the club.  I grab a bottle and head to my room, hoping to drink the pain away.