Renegade Lady (Renegade Sons MC 1)(28)

My anger explodes and I grab her by the arm.  “I never once said I loved you.  I wouldn’t, because I don’t.  There’s only one woman I love, and if I ever hear you talk about her like that again, I’ll lay your ass out.”
She pulls away and steps back.  “Fine. I won’t say shit about your precious baby girl, but I ain’t leaving.  I have nowhere to go.  You told me I could work at The Kitty Kat.  Let me strip for a few months. You can at least let me stay until I can save up some money.”  
I stare at her for a moment before my anger begins to fade.  This is my fault.  The least I can do is give her a little time to get shit straight.   “You’ve got four months.”
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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CHAPTER Eight
 
Kidd
 
 
 
Mindy’s gone. I can’t believe it. We’re lucky she lasted as long as she did. We ended up having a lot more time than the doctor thought we would; a little over three months.  Thank God I came back when I did.  I’m not sure I could have ever forgiven Pop if I hadn’t gotten to talk to her one last time.  Seeing her lying in the hospital, taking her last breath, was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it was also a privilege. It was a privilege to have had her as my sister in this life, a privilege to be her brother-in-law, and a privilege to share in all the goodness that was Mindy.  
As I turn to walk away from the casket, I see Jenna standing in the corner of the funeral home crying.  I know there’s nothing I can do to take her pain away, but I still walk towards her and pull her into my arms.  “I’m so sorry, baby girl.”
She buries her head into my shoulder and lets her pain out.  Her body convulses with sobs, and I can feel every ounce of the grief that she has coursing through her body.  Even though she’s only known Mindy for a little over a year, I know she’s hurting every bit as much as I did when I lost my mother.   “She loved you, Jenna.  You were the daughter she always wanted.  You made the last year of her life the happiest she’d ever lived.”
She draws in a labored breath, then pulls her face back and looks up to me.  “She was the best mom ever, and I’m just not sure I can live without her.”
I give her a tight squeeze and place my forehead on hers.  “You can, and you will.  It’ll just be hard for a while.  As time goes on, you’ll get to a point where you can look back at the time you had with her for the gift it was.”
“It wasn’t a gift. It was a reward,” she whispers out.  
“A reward?”
“Yes, I think God sent her to me.  She was my reward for all the bad shit that’s happened to me in my life.” Her tears start to come faster as she continues to talk. “I would go through it all again, just to have my Mindy back.”
Hearing her talk about the past, even not going into detail, kills me.  I hate that my girl had to go through all that shit.  If I could, I’d dig Rig’s ass up just to kill the motherfucker again.   I pull my head back and kiss her forehead.  “She told me once that you were a gift from God.”
“She told me that too.  She said that she used to pray that she could have a baby, but it never happened.  Then, I showed up and she knew that I was the baby she had prayed for.” She looks up to me and a sad smile crosses her face.  “She said that God knew how much she would’ve hated changing diapers and wiping snotty noses, so he sent her a child that could take care of her own bodily functions.”
I let out a quiet chuckle and start to respond when I see Sarah walking towards us.  I let go of Jenna and take a step back.  I don’t want to, but I also don’t want Sarah starting any shit here.  She’s been pretty good about everything so far, but I can tell she’s ready to explode.  
It only took her a few minutes of seeing me with Jenna for her to realize that Jenna meant more to me than she ever would.   I should’ve sent Sarah home right away, but I hoped she’d help me keep my hands off Jenna.  Needless to say, a woman doesn’t like being used as a stand in for the one you really want.  
She stops a few feet from us and places her hands on her hips.  “Are you ready to sit down yet?”
“I’ll be there in a minute.”
“I’m ready to sit down, now,” she says, drawing out the now.