Renegade Lady (Renegade Sons MC 1)(27)
Kidd
I leave Mindy and Chipper’s with Jenna on my mind. I cannot believe how fuckin’ much she’s changed. She’s still the same Jenna, just a more mature version. The fascination I had with her before is nothing compared to how I feel now. I thought being gone as long as I was had helped me get over my feelings for her. Well, maybe not get over her, but at least lessen the need I had for her. Instead, the minute I see her again, I want her more now than ever.
Sarah senses my mood shift as soon as we step outside. “What’s the matter, baby?”
Fuck, I need to break this to her, but I don’t know how. Over the past eleven months, I’ve grown to care for her. Do I love her? Hell, no. But I do care enough about her not to want to cause her pain. I knew I shouldn’t have ever brought her here. When she asked if she could come along, something inside of my head kept telling me to say no. It’s like it just knew something has always been missing, and now I know what it is. It’s Jenna.
“We’ll talk at the club house,” I grunt out.
She shifts in her seat and asks, “I thought we were going home, baby?”
She’s right. I planned on moving her into my apartment; a place that I don’t stay at very often and that no one from the club ever goes. I guess somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought I could keep her there and away from Jenna. Now, the thought of having her in my home seems wrong. “Yeah, I changed my mind. We’ll talk at the club house.”
I walk to my bike without saying another word. I can feel her stare boring onto my back, but she stays quiet too.
Ten minutes later, I pull through the gate to the compound and park in my spot. Sarah pulls in beside me as I’m sliding off my bike. She follows me quietly to my room, passing the brothers I haven’t seen in nearly year, but I don’t stop to talk and they don’t call out. Guess my body is giving off the ‘don’t fuck with me’ vibe.
I unlock my door and lead Sarah inside. I walk to the bed and sit, leaning forward, and put my head into my hands. Shit, what can I say? There’s no nice way to explain this to her, and she deserves nice.
I feel her walk over to me, but I don’t look up. She sits down beside me and places her hand on my leg. “Baby, what’s going on? Something wrong?”
I snort. “You think? Of course, something’s wrong. My sister-in-law is dying.”
“But that’s not what you’re so upset over, is it?”
I stand up and start pacing the room. “When I brought you here, I thought we could give it a go. You’re a great woman, and an amazing friend. You’re a fucking firecracker in bed; everything a man could want.”
I stop pacing and look at her. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong, but you’re not the woman for me.”
“Who is?” she asks, jumping from the bed. “That kid? She’s what all this is about?”
I can do nothing but nod. “I’m sorry, but the minute I saw her, I knew this wouldn’t work out.”
“What the fuck are you going to do, hook up with a seventeen year old?”
I shake my head. “No, she turns eighteen in four months. I can wait that long, but the minute she’s legal, I’ll be making her mine.”
Sarah says nothing. She just continues to look at me like I’m a piece of shit. Why shouldn’t she? I am a piece of shit after all. “Sarah, I’m so sorry.”
“You talk about her all the time. Your baby girl,” she says, venom lacing through her voice. “You had to know you wanted her, so why the hell did you bring me here?”
“I told you, I thought we could give it shot. I didn’t think my feelings for Jenna were anything more than me looking out for her, but fuck, the feelings I shouldn’t have had for her before I left are still there. Only they’re stronger now. I just can’t keep ignoring them.”
She starts to shake her head. “You can’t do this to me. You were supposed to make me you’re old lady.”
“That’s not fucking true,” I shout, starting to get angry. “I never made you any promises. I made sure you knew that before I brought you here. I told you I didn’t know how long this shit between us would last.”
“No! You just said that. You didn’t mean it. You love me, and I refuse to let you throw me to the side for some little bitch.”