Rellik(6)
* *
“It’s just for a few weeks. I never ask you for anything.” I listened to my mother plead with my grandma outside of the cracked passenger window of her old blue Sundance.
“What have you gone and gotten yourself into now?” My grandmother folded her arms over her chest as she narrowed her eyes behind thick, clear-rimmed glasses.
“She’s your granddaughter. Don’t you have any compassion?”
“Don’t you have any sense of responsibility? You get yourself all pear-shaped and expect the world to come to your side, save the day. I told you Tommy was going to ruin your life. That man never cared about anyone but himself. Who is here to help me when I need it? I’m not young anymore, Leigh. You don’t see me asking for a handout.”
“Here.” My mother pulled a stack of money from her back pocket and held it out.
“Where did you get this?” my grandmother asked, but my mom shoved the money into her hand and folded her fingers over the stack of bills.
“She can help you. She loves to help cook, and she picks up after herself. She’s a good kid, Ma. Just look at her.” My mother stretched out her arm in my direction, and my grandma’s expression softened momentarily before she glared back at my mother. “I just need a little time. Someone’s been leaving me messages, Ma. I think it’s Tommy.”
“I’ve always had to clean up your messes. The first time that man stepped through the door, your father should have put him to ground. God rest his soul.” She turned and made her way up the wooden steps into her apartment, gripping the railing to steady herself. “Always mixed up with the law. Do you even care how the neighbors look at me? Of course you don’t. You only care about yourself.”
My mother spun around and pulled open my door, a fresh reassuring smile on her face as she reached across me and unbuckled my seat belt. “Come on, baby. Your grandma is excited to spend some time with you.”
I weakly smiled back, but my heart sank as I took my mother’s hand and let her lead me up the stairs. I stopped in the doorway, hiding myself behind her legs as I eyed my grandmother in a faded mauve recliner.
“Don’t be scared. I won’t bite you,” she said as she pressed her nurse-style shoes against the brown carpet to rock herself.
“Thank you, Ma. I promise this is temporary.” My mom knelt down beside me, cupping my cheeks in her palms. She smiled, a small sob escaping as she fought against her tears. “You be good, okay?” She sniffled but her smile grew brighter. “I’ll be back soon. I promise.”
“I forgot magic shield!”
“Do her a favor, Leighton, and don’t bother,” my grandmother said as my mother pressed her lips to my forehead.
“It’s okay. You won’t need it here. No more nightmares. I love you. Take care of that baby doll for me, okay?” She ran her hand over my hair before stepping out of the door and out of my life forever.
* *
My mother had always loved me. Every memory I had of her was of smiles and warm embraces, even when the world was against her. But memories are subjective when you’re young and idolize those who show you affection. She told me she would be back for me. That was what I clung to all those years, even after my grandmother passed away and there was no one else to take me in. I would walk to the ends of the earth to find out why she never returned, to know if my father had finally caught up with her. But the real tragedy began after I’d lost everyone I knew, and now I was desperate for answers and a resolution so I could move on with my life.
I sighed as I sank down on the edge of my bed and pulled my knees to my chest. My apartment was barely the size of an average bedroom, but it served its purpose, and I didn’t plan on staying much longer. If my leads didn’t work out in Orlando, I’d have to figure out another way to get information. I didn’t have much, but I didn’t need much. The light at the end of my tunnel was the truth. It was what I had in my darkest moments. I wasn’t that small, helpless child in a foster home anymore. I had grown stronger, learned to overcome, and now I could protect myself like my mother could not.
After running away from an abusive family and being thrown back into foster care, I walked free on a technicality known as adulthood. When you go into the system, it’s impossible to escape, but eventually you age and get thrown out with little hope of surviving and becoming a productive citizen. I clung to the stories I had learned as a child. One day the world would right itself, justice would be served, and a hero would save the day. I wasn’t that little girl anymore. I was my own goddamn hero, and I was going to make things right.