Refuge(159)

“Yeah, but first you have to find her, and she’s managed to stay out of sight for ten years.”

“No one stays out of sight unless they are living totally off the grid, and I know for a fact that my dear mother has not been living in a cave. My friend, David, has been tracking her for a month, and it didn’t take him long to pick up her trail.”

Roland frowned. “David, the hacker guy? If he knows where she is, tell Tristan and let him deal with it.”

“No.” I got off the bed and began pacing the room. I wasn’t going to sit back anymore and do nothing. I couldn’t. Besides, Madeline was too smart for that and she’d see her father coming from a mile off. “Like I said, she’ll be watching for him. And I’ll be damned if I let them ship me off to God-knows-where while everyone else puts themselves in danger. You know me, Roland. I can’t live like that.”

“But you can leave Nikolas? I saw the way you looked at him last night. You love him, don’t you?”

I stopped pacing and swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Yes. But it’s not enough.” The idea of leaving Nikolas was tearing me up inside. I loved him more than I’d thought it was possible to love someone. But if I stayed and let him protect me the way he wanted to, I’d soon feel smothered and I’d eventually start to resent him. For this thing between us to work, we had to see each other as equals. That would never happen if we did things his way.

Roland pointed to one of the pictures above my desk. “What about Nate? You’re going to leave him, too?”

I sank down in my desk chair and put my head in my hands. “It’s not like I want to leave him, Roland. I almost lost him, and it kills me to hurt him like this. But I’m doing this for him, too. He’s a prisoner here as long as the Master is out there. After last night, I don’t think he’s safe anywhere.”

“You’re set on this, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” Once I set my mind on a course, there was no changing it, and he knew it. The last thing I wanted was to leave Nikolas and Nate, or Tristan or Jordan or Desmund. But this wasn’t about what I wanted. I knew with every fiber of my being that I had to do this.

“Fine. Then I’m going with you.”

Hope flared in my chest, and I jerked my head up to stare at him. But just as quickly as the hope had ignited, I stamped it out. As much as I didn’t want to do this alone, I could not drag him into it. “No, I can’t let you do that.”

He crossed his arms and his mouth formed a stubborn line. “If I don’t go, you don’t go.”

“But what about your mom and school? You can’t miss your senior year.”

“Mom will understand . . . eventually. And school sucks without you.”

I chewed my nail anxiously. I was more than a little nervous about what I planned to do, and it would be a lot less scary with Roland by my side. There was no one I’d trust more with my life than my best friend. Well, almost no one. I forced myself not to think about Nikolas.

“Okay.”

It was Roland’s turn to get up and pace. “Sara, are you sure you want to do this?”

I set my shoulders and met his blue eyes filled with worry. “This vampire killed my dad and tried to take Nate from me. He’s tried more than once to kill me. He declared war on my family, and I am not going to sit around and wait to see what horrible thing he does next. This time, I’m taking the fight to him.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” he muttered. “So let me see if I have this right. We’re going to hunt down your mother and a vampire Master while half the blood suckers in the country are looking for you? Not to mention the Mohiri?”

The last four months, I had been hunted and terrorized and I had witnessed more brutality and death than anyone should see in a lifetime. I was tired of being afraid, tired of feeling weak, tired of crying. Roland was right; we were going to be constantly looking over our shoulders. I’d just have to make sure to stay a few steps ahead of them all. And the last thing the Master would expect is for me to leave the stronghold and go out on my own. If we were lucky, we could find Madeline and be back here before he even knew I was gone.

“That’s the plan.”

Roland groaned. “You forget one very important thing,” he said dejectedly. “That vampire is not all you have to worry about. Nikolas is going to come after you, and he’s going to be royally pissed. There’s gonna be hell to pay if either of them gets their hands on you?”

“Have a little faith, Roland.” I lifted my chin and smiled at him. “They’re going to have to catch me first.”