Redeeming You(13)

“I need a drink,” he said pushing her away.

“No,” she said running her hands up his chest. “Just dance with me for a few more minutes. I love this song.”

He lifted his head and heard it—the song he loved and hated. It was one by Chasing Ruin. Jax wrote it and he suspected it was about Bre, so he hated it, but it catapulted them to the top of the rock world, so he loved it because it was instrumental in making his life-long dream come true. Always conflicted…was that how he’d spend the rest of his life?



I pull, you run.

I give, you deny.

I reach for you even though it’s wrong.

Don’t you know? Don’t you see?

I’d give you everything if you gave me a chance.

Let me love you. Let me love you.



Taylor pulled him closer, whispering the words of the song against his chest and suddenly the words once so painful to hear soothed him. When she whispered the last four words of the song so softly that he had to tip the side of his head toward her mouth to hear them, he held his breath, because deep down, he wanted to believe her. It had been so long since he felt close to anyone and maybe that was his problem—he had a hole in his heart that no amount of alcohol or women could fill, and not from a lack of trying.

She lifted her head at the end of the song, her dark blue eyes shimmering with emotion, and right then he didn’t care about all the glaringly obvious reasons he should run off the dance floor and crawl back into his den of self-destruction. He wanted to live in the moment. Even though the words she sang were lyrics and not a reflection of her feelings for him, for one fleeting second he wanted to pretend that they meant something, that he meant something to someone again, that he wasn’t just Cam the guitarist for Chasing Ruin. He was somebody separate and apart from his ability to play a guitar and his fame.

He brushed his thumb across her beautiful lips and he paused, debating whether he should take what he wanted. She was like the forbidden fruit dangling from the tree, and, in the end, he couldn’t stop himself. With his body aching for someone to hold on to, he bent his head, his lips hovering over hers and his mind knew it was wrong, but he kissed her anyway. He started off gentle and soft, giving her time to protest, but then she wrapped her arms around his neck and licked his upper lip, and all bets were off.

Within seconds, his mouth collided roughly with hers in a searing kiss. She whimpered quietly, parting her lips as a tremble rocked through her body. His tongue tangled with hers in a frantic rhythm that left him wanting more. He slipped one of his hands inside her shirt, his fingers tracing circles on the skin of her stomach, moving upward until he reached the underside of her lace bra. The scent of her skin, the taste of her lips, the sensual movement of her hips drove him crazy. It had been so long since he felt anything for anyone beyond the driving need for a one-time release.

Then she moaned his name as her shaky hands pulled his shirt from his pants and traveled under the hem, her nails skimming over his skin, and he froze. What was he doing? Remorse, resentment and embarrassment coursed through his veins.

“No more,” he said as he roughly pushed her away. He gritted his teeth. When would he pull his head out of his ass long enough to get his shit together? One mistake after another and now he molested Alec’s sister on the dance floor, a woman who not less than five hours ago, he swore he hated.

“What the hell?” She stumbled back a few steps, panting breathlessly and then she lifted her face, and her dark blue eyes met his. They were glassy with desire, but also anger and if he were a lesser man, he would have withered under the heat of her arctic stare.

He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging on the ends, trying to force his mind to focus. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen. You were there…available. I drank too much. You could have been anyone. I don’t know…” He avoided her eyes. It was a lie. It happened because once he got close to her, he wanted her, not anyone else.

Pain sliced across her face and his gut twisted. “You’re a jerk!”

“Agreed,” he yelled back without heat because it was entirely true. He was that and so much worse, only she didn’t realize the full extent of it yet, at least not in her alcohol soaked mind. Once she sobered up, she would be horrified that she allowed him to touch her.

“Let’s go.” He wrapped his hand around her wrist pulling her off the dance floor. A bottle of Patrón was waiting for them and he needed it more than ever.

“No,” she snatched her hand back.

“You don’t have a choice. You have to stay with me.” Even as he said it, he knew it was juvenile, but at that moment he liked the idea that she was tethered to him for a month even if he wouldn’t touch her again. He had somebody that couldn’t leave him.