Razorblade Kisses(36)

She watched him while she put his order in the computer. He was wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt, worn out jeans, round-toed work boots, and a John Deere hat. Noah looked up from his phone and saw her gawking at him. He motioned her over. Instead of going straight to Noah, she veered to the bar to grab his beer.

“I thought you said you didn’t have a boyfriend,” Eric commented as he handed her Noah’s beer.

“I don’t,” she replied.

“Yeah, you do,” she heard Eric retort as she moved away.

“You don’t know what those flowers mean,” she said as she set his beer on the table.

“I googled it.” He wrapped both hands around the back of her upper thighs and pulled her flush with him. She was standing in between his legs and everything disappeared as she lowered her head slowly. Noah turned his hat around backwards and caught her lips with his mouth in a slow dance. When she’d finally remembered she was at work, she stepped back.

“Oh shit,” she said, pointing at his once-white long-sleeved t-shirt, which was now covered with sauce and random bits of meat. “Your shirt.”

His eyes twinkled. “Totally worth it.”

“You came in here and made my entire night. Thank you,” she admitted and went to check her other tables before she was tempted to kiss him again.

Noah continued sitting at the table, sipping his beer and touching her inappropriately until after midnight, when the restaurant closed. He stood to go, kissed her, and grabbed her butt. She slapped at his hand playfully. “I don’t like the way that bartender looks at you,” he whispered in her ear.

“Whatever,” she said dismissively.

“I’ll see you at home. I’ll be the one in your bed.” He winked and then left.

As Emery swept her section, she realized that tonight was the first time he’d disregarded her request that they not acknowledge each other physically in public. She was more shocked to find she didn’t care. The grin on her face was permanent for the rest of the night.



She woke with a start and glanced at her phone on the bedside table. It was 3:36 in morning.

“Hey,” Noah moaned roughly, sleep filling his voice.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” She rolled over and lay with her face inches from his. She couldn’t really see him, only the outline of his features.

“You okay?” His voice was soft. Then he closed the mere inches separating them and kissed her lazily, like he had all the time in the world.

Heat blazed through her as quick as lightening. He leaned back and put his fingers on her lips, softly.

“Noah?”

“Yeah, babe.”

“Don’t ‘babe’ me,” she said without thinking.

He chuckled. “You like baby better?”

“This doesn’t change anything,” she pushed.

“This changes everything and I promise you may not see it, but you need it to change. I don’t want anyone else and besides, they would all be poor replacements for you.”

His words were what she’d wanted but feared at the same time. The regrets she had about telling him to date other people invaded her thoughts when she smelled different girls on his clothes, on him. Emery had convinced herself that this was better for them both, but no matter what they were slowly intertwining with each other and she didn’t want any other girls in the mix.

“Okay.”

“Yeah?” His voice filled with joy.

“Okay, but I’m not your girlfriend,” she said.

“I can live with that.” He kissed her. It was a chaste kiss and she pulled herself closer to his body.

“And we’re still keeping things to our apartment.”

“Oh, it’s ours now?” He kissed the tip of her nose. His lips burned a trail of kisses down her neck.

Emery’s mind buzzed with what she was doing and how wrong it was. She couldn’t be the person he wanted her to be, the person he deserved. The person that could meet his parents and have his babies. The girl that would make his life better. That wasn’t her. She wasn’t that person. Noah seemed to love easily, but she couldn’t because she knew she’d have to walk away from him at some point.





CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Unwanted Conversations



Emery was sitting at the table staring at the red daisies when her phone rang. She ran to her purse and answered. “What’s up?”

“Hey, just wanted to check in with you. Things going okay? I’m graduating from high school in like three months. Can you believe it? I haven’t been grounded in months and Derrick kissed me. Oh, and I talked to your sister.”

“Whoa, Rach…I can’t follow you. That was like one long run-on sentence.”