Ransom(96)

“Do you know when I’m most happy?” I ask, staring at my fries so I don’t have to look at him. “I’m most happy when I’m working with the band. I love it. I love being a part of a team like that. I love the travel. I love interacting with the fans, which you know is really saying something considering my recent history.” I set down my burger. “By the end there, I was helping out a lot with all kinds of things. Their photo shoots. Their rehearsals. They asked for my advice on lots of stuff. And I was good at it. I think I made them better.”

When he doesn’t respond for several minutes, I finally look up. He has a strange look on his face.

“Well, that’s what you should do then.”

“Wait. What?”

“You should work in the music industry.”

I wouldn’t have been more shocked if he told me he thought I should become a professional juggler. “Are you serious?”

“Daisy, did you just hear yourself? You said working on the tour was a time when you were most happy. You were happy. That’s the only thing I have ever wanted for you.” He smiles ruefully. “I mean, I’m not going to pretend I don’t think a background in business will provide for you best. But after everything we’ve been through, you telling me that you’re happy is the only thing I want to hear.” He reaches across the table and brushes his fingertips across my hand. “The only thing I want to hear.”

“Wow.” I shake my head. “You’re full of surprises today.”

He rolls his eyes and goes back to his burger. “So,” he says after he finishes chewing. “Does that mean you’re going to go back on tour?”

The very thought sends a shot of panic through me. “I don’t know. Everything is different now. They’re so high profile. There are always crowds and press around them. How am I supposed to deal with that?”

“The same way you deal with anything else. You make a plan. You talk to Daltrey and to me and to Dr. Jacobs, and together, we figure out solutions to whatever issues come up.”

I stare at him. “You make it sound easy.”

“I’m sure it won’t be easy. But if it’s what you want to do, you’ll figure it out.” He eyes me over his burger. “Because really, Daisy, what’s the alternative? If working in music makes you happy, you need to figure out a way to make it work. You say you’re good at it, so start there. You can make a contribution to this band. So what’s the next thing you need to tackle?”

For so long, I’ve thought of my life in terms of what I can’t do. I can’t be around people. I can’t let strangers look at me. I can’t get through a stressful situation without a panic attack. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. Why don’t I ever start with what I can do and go from there?

We finish our lunch then stroll out to my dad’s car.

“What are you going to do?” he asks. “Do you want to come back with me now?”

I shake my head. “I think I need to work a few things out first.”

“Okay.” He holds open the car door for me, waiting while I climb in. “I’m going to stay in town for a few days. Get a hotel here.”

“You don’t need to do that, Dad.”

“I know. But I’m not quite ready to be far away from you yet.”

He shuts the door and heads around the car to his side. I realize that I’m smiling. I don’t think that I’m quite ready to be far away from him yet, either.

***



Levi is still sitting on the back deck when I get to the cabin. He switched from coffee to beer at some point while I was gone. He barely looks up when I join him at the wicker table.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” he says, nodding in my direction. “How’s your dad?”

“He’s okay. Actually, I think we’re okay.” It still feels strange to think of our relationship as something that can be described as okay, but I do think we’re going to get there.

“I’m glad.” Levi’s attention seems to be set pretty firmly on the lake, and I wonder if he’s looking for privacy. Just as I’m about to excuse myself to go up to my room, he clears his throat. “So, I screwed that up pretty bad, huh?”

“What do you mean?”

“Earlier today. I think I let the cat out of the bag a bit sooner than I intended.”

I have no idea what he’s talking about. “Levi—”

“I’m crazy about you, Daisy.” He still doesn’t look at me, and it takes a minute for his words to sink in. “Always have been.”