Ransom(103)

“I’m confused as hell, Paige. But I think he’s probably right. My whole life, all I’ve ever wanted is to be where Daltrey is. Whether that was playing with him in the backyard when we were kids or watching his band play when we got older. It was all I wanted.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“Because he makes me happy. He makes me laugh. He knows my stories, and I know his. When I was lonely and missing my mom, he got that and never tried to make me feel stupid for it. And when he plays, there’s something that draws me in, like I can see some… I don’t know, some deep down inside place in him. I think it’s so brave, the way he lets himself be so vulnerable and expressive on stage. And he’s beautiful, you know, really beautiful.” I think of our walk in Central Park, what he said about money and helping people. “Inside and out. His heart is the only thing I can imagine being more beautiful than his face—”

Paige laughs softly on the other end of the phone.

“What?”

“Oh, Daisy, you’re not confused, honey. You’re madly in love with him. You should hear yourself.”

I laugh too, imagining the way that monologue must have sounded to her. Something in my brain seems to shift. It doesn’t have to be so hard. “Yeah, I am.”

“So get your ass back here, girl. What are you waiting for?”

“What if I can’t handle it, Paige? What if I freak out again?”

“Then you freak out again. It’s not the end of the world.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“I’m sure it won’t be easy,” she says. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t think you can do it.”

“You’re a really good friend, Paige,” I say, wishing I could hug her right now.

“Well, duh.” She chortles. “I told you that from the very beginning, didn’t I? About how lucky you were to be friends with me and Karen?”

“You did. I’m sorry I left the two of you there alone.”

She snorts. “Oh, yeah, it’s been absolutely terrible, staying in nice hotels and hanging out with a famous rock band.”

“I don’t know how you’re carrying on.”

She sighs dramatically. “We do our best.”

“I should let you go.”

“Will you call me soon?”

“I promise.”

I hang up and look down at the phone, knowing what I need to do. I think I’ve always known, really. I just let the scared part of my brain get so loud it drowned out my heart. But not anymore. I type in a quick text to my dad before setting the phone back on the table.

“Daisy?”

I turn to see Levi by the door.

“Sorry to bug you,” he says. “I just realized I left my phone.”

I hold it out to him. “I called Paige. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not.” He reaches for the phone, but his hand falters slightly as he realizes what I said. “Oh.”

“Yeah, it’s funny because there was a full signal. I was under the impression that never happened.”

He instantly looks guilty. “It’s usually not very good.”

“Levi…”

He sighs. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I exaggerated the no-signal thing so you wouldn’t feel pressure to talk to anyone until you were ready.”

“You also didn’t tell me that Daltrey has been asking to speak to me.”

He looks out at the water. “I didn’t think you were ready for that yet, either.”

“You know that’s kind of bullshit, don’t you? You keeping things from me?”

“I just wanted you to be okay,” he says sadly. “God, Daisy. You should have seen your face that night in the hotel. It was… you were so scared and so upset. I just wanted you to be somewhere private and safe.”

“I’m grateful for you bringing me here. You have no idea how much it means to me. But it was wrong of you to lie to me.”

He finally meets my eyes. “I’m sorry,” he says, his voice low and intense. “I really am. I didn’t mean to lie to you. I just wanted what was best.”

Looking at the stricken face of my old friend, I realize that this is a huge part of my problem. I love Levi for caring so much, just as I love my dad for being so worried about me. But for the past year, I’ve been letting too many people make decisions for me based on what they thought was best—from my dad enrolling me in school in Tennessee to Levi cutting me off from Daltrey. People were making my choices for me, and I let them, without complaint, because deep down, I still considered myself too weak and broken to make those choices myself. And no one is going to believe that I can take care of myself until I start to show them that I can.