Ransom(101)

“I’m perfectly happy blaming him right now,” I snarl, and he laughs.

“Look, man,” Reed says, mirroring Cash’s position against the far wall. “That’s fucked up, what he did. I get that. And maybe Len is right, maybe you shouldn’t blame yourself. But at the same time, you’re not completely innocent here.”

“Fuck, Reed! Really? Look, I get that I messed up. I get that everyone had a worse tour because of me. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not talking about getting arrested,” Reed says. “I’m talking about Daisy. Would you have gone home if you knew what Dad knew?”

“Of course.”

“So if you knew she was in trouble, you’d drop everything and go make sure she was okay?”

“Yes.”

“Then why the hell didn’t you?”

“Because he didn’t tell me—”

“So you didn’t know the specifics. But you knew she wasn’t calling you. You knew you couldn’t reach her. You knew her dad moved and that something was going on. Why weren’t you worried about her?”

“I was,” I argue.

“So were you just too pissed to care? ’Cause I gotta tell you, man, if I loved a girl the way you say you love her, I’d make damn sure she was okay if I had the slightest reason to worry about her.”

His words seem to sink into my stomach, making it feel both heavy and empty at the same time. Lennon said something pretty similar back in New York, didn’t he? He was right, and Reed is right now. I should have gone home.

“And I’m doing the same fucking thing right now,” I mutter, more to myself than to him. “The exact thing.”

“Except this time, you know she’s safe,” Cash says. “You know she’s with Levi.”

I shake my head. I don’t know she’s safe, not really. Levi isn’t talking, and she hasn’t called me. For all I know, she’s completely melting down. Levi seems to have some problem with me right now and doesn’t seem inclined to keep me up to date.

“That’s not the point,” I say. “The point is that she’s going through something, and I’m not there. Again.”

“You have a job, man,” Cash starts, but I wave him off.

“I know I do. And I’m going to do it. I’ll be here for the shows in Cleveland. But when they’re done, that’s it. I don’t care what Dad wants from us, I’m going to find her.”

“Are you sure you shouldn’t give her time?” Cash asks. “To figure out what she wants?”

“She can have all the time in the world,” I say. “But she’s going to know she can count on me, that I’m going to put her first.”

“Daltrey, what if she doesn’t want to come back?” Cash asks, sounding hesitant. “What if she doesn’t want anything to do with this life after what happened?”

He’s just voiced my greatest fear, that Daisy won’t want me. All those years ago, she was the person to fill the hole in my heart after my mom left. I’ve been relying on her ever since. The idea that she, too, might decide she doesn’t want me—that terrifies me. And maybe, really, that was the reason I didn’t go after her last year. I think, deep down, I was scared that she would choose to walk away forever—just like my mom.

But Daisy is nothing like my mom. She’s nothing like her mom, either, despite her fears. She is strong, kind, and loyal. She’s so much braver than she ever gives herself credit for. She’s worth any fear, any risk, any chance I’ll have to take. Because I love her, completely and overwhelmingly.

I smile, feeling sure for the first time in ages that I’m doing the right thing. “That’s a bridge we’ll cross when we come to it. But we’ll cross it together.”





Chapter Thirty-one


Daisy





I wish Paige and Karen were with me. They’d help me figure out this mess. Then I realize that I could just call them. I manage to smile at my continued hopelessness when it comes to the social norms of kids my age.

Levi left his phone on the table, so I pick it up, sure it won’t have bars. I’m surprised to see it’s getting a full signal.

I frown. Levi’s been telling me all week that he doesn’t get cell service out here. Is this a fluke, or has he been lying for some reason?

I find Paige’s number in the Contacts and press Send. I nervously tap my fingers on the table while it rings.

“Levi?” she asks, sounding as if she ran to answer. “Is that you?”

“No, it’s Daisy.”

“Oh, my God! Daisy! Where are you? I’ve been going crazy! Are you okay?”