Raging Love(3)

I wanted to be happy for them, but I don’t know if I could ever trust Ty. Maybe I just didn’t want to, because then it would make our failed relationship somehow my fault. I wanted to be the best wife to Colt, so knowing that I never satisfied my last boyfriend really made me worry.

I couldn’t help it that I was nothing like Miranda. She could walk around naked all day and be totally okay with it. When we went out places, she craved the attention. There was no way in Hell I could wear the things she put on her body. I could only imagine the things she did in bed. When I think about their relationship in that aspect I know why she tamed Ty.

He followed her around like she was his obsession. She didn’t even realize how much he had changed for her. The most shocking thing to the whole family was his devotion to Bella. My God, he loved that kid like she was his own flesh and blood. She loved him too.

I will never forget hearing her call him ‘Daddy’ for the first time. The look in his eyes told me everything I needed to know. As shocked as we all were, I couldn’t help but melt when I saw the two of them interacting.

I was jealous of their life. Colt was getting older and in the fall would be turning twenty seven. He desperately wanted to start having kids and was accepting when I told him we had to wait until I was out of school. I went off the pill five months ago and we still weren’t pregnant. I guess that added to my sudden case of emotional breakdowns regarding Ty and Miranda.

Anyone could tell they were happier than ever. I swear they lived in their own little bubble and never worried about anyone else. I wanted that so much, not with Ty of course, but with Colt.

I loved him so much and marrying him was going to be the happiest day of my life. I was hoping that once the stress of the wedding was finally over, my body would just relax and I would become instantly pregnant. Colt was optimistic, even as I began to worry. He said when the time was right, we would get pregnant. I appreciated his kind words, but I also knew some people couldn’t have children. That would break Colt’s heart.

Since I had been so over-emotional lately, Colt was especially sweet at night when it was just us. Sometimes he would just hold me tight, stroking my arms, until I went to sleep. Other times he would hold me while I cried for reasons I wasn’t even sure of. This night had been no different. We had a great dinner with the whole family and hung out afterwards.

Colt pried Bella away from her Daddy and was able to get some kisses from her finally. She had been stingy about only giving kisses to Ty. I teased him about brainwashing her, but ever since the child was born, she had claimed Ty as her favorite person in the world. It didn’t even matter that they once lived in separate states; she never lost that love for him.

As much as I would like to hate Ty for hurting me, when I saw him being a husband and father, it made my heart just turn to pudding. I wanted Colt to feel that love from a child. I wanted him to talk to my belly and hold my hand when I went into labor. Obviously it was really bothering me.

My best friend Brina was in town and she and Conner seemed to be really hitting it off. We were all finally glad he hadn’t brought Courtney around in a few days. I honestly could care less if Brina and he hooked up. Neither were looking for something serious so they may as well enjoy each other’s company while she was visiting.

Colt and I went home from dinner and watched television in bed before finally going to sleep. Like every night lately, he made sure I fell asleep with either his arm around me, or my hand in his. When the phone started to ring, we both jumped up out of bed.

I watched as Colt’s eyes got huge and he shot up out of bed. Once he got on some pants, he went flying out of the door without an explanation. For fear that, something had happened to a family member, I got myself dressed. Of course, I had been lying in only a pair of panties, so it took me a couple minutes to find my bra and then some clothes to put on.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when I walked out of our house. Beyond the trees, I could see the flames of something on fire. Panic came over me when I started thinking it was the main house. I jumped in Colt’s truck and grabbed the keys from the visor. I think I almost skidded off the dirt road that led to the main part of the ranch at least three times. Conner’s truck sat in front of where I finally came to a stop, but nothing could block the site of the barn going up in flames.

Colt was ahead of me kneeling on the ground with his head down, while Ty and Conner stood behind him. They turned as I pulled up, but I couldn’t get out of the truck. I couldn’t move at all.

Colt got up and started running toward the truck, while fire trucks started to pour into the ranch. It was too late. There was nothing anyone could do to salvage anything in that barn.