Pure Punishment(42)

As he walks back to me, I build up enough courage to kiss him. I miss his lips. He stops in front of me and I stand on my tiptoes and place my lips on his. I move them and when I notice he doesn’t kiss me back, I stop and pull away. He sees the look of hurt cross my face and grabs my hand as I turn to walk off.

“We have to wait, Kristy. You need to be better. I need you well so we can start something because once it’s started I can never let you go.” I don’t look at him and grab my bag to head outside, but he catches up fast and stands in front of me.

“I have to do this myself,” I tell him and he nods his head.

“Just let me drive you.” He opens the passenger door and helps me in. The drive is very quiet, no words are spoken. When we come to stop in front of the hospital, I turn to him and see him already watching me.

“I will wait,” he tells me, trying to mask his blank expression, but not succeeding.

“You don’t have to, I can catch a cab.”

He shakes his head and reaches over to open my door for me. I thank him and get out, walking quickly to the front door. Before I enter, I stop and turn back to see him with his head on the steering wheel. He doesn’t see me and I escape into the hospital before I decide to go back to him, back to where I’m not wanted right now.

It doesn’t take long for Dr. Walker to come out. He ushers me in the room, takes a seat opposite me and asks how I’ve been. I tell him I feel fine.

“This won’t work Kristy, if you don’t trust me. We need to trust each other.”

“I wasn’t fine, okay? I cut again.” I drop my head in shame.

“Can you tell me about it?” he asks with a calming voice.

“It starts with a song.” I start shaking when I think about it. “Then I get flashes in my head and they aren’t nice ones.” I look up at him and see him staring intently at me.

“Okay, how about you tell me about school. How is that going for you?” He changes the subject and I’m thankful for it. I tell him how I enjoy what I’m studying and that one day, I want a career in that field. He asks about Kai, which brings a small smile to my face.

“How are things with you two?”

“Weird. He treats me as if I’m going to snap and he won’t kiss me anymore.”

“Are you going to snap?” he asks.

“No… I don’t know,” I answer, telling the truth.

“That’s good, Kristy. That’s a start.”

I nod my head and we talk for the rest of the session about everything from my upbringing to my grandmother. He asks me about my parents and I tell him what I can remember. How crazy my mother was and how protective my father was. I leave the haunted things buried where they should be, because I honestly have no idea if they are real. They couldn’t possibly be.

We finish up our session and he asks to see me again tomorrow. I agree and walk outside to see Kai out front, waiting for me. His leg is rocking up and down and he looks uncomfortable sitting there. He looks up when I get closer and he stands and takes hold of my waist and guides me to the car.

“How was it?” he asks on the drive back to his house. I tell him it wasn’t bad and I like the doctor. He seems sincere.

“I’m so glad you are going,” he says and grabs hold of my hand. I take his and give it a squeeze.

“I am too,” I say and lay my head back against the headrest and watch as the trees pass us by.

I wake when the car comes to a stop. Kai comes around, opens my door, and helps me out. That’s when I notice Julia sitting on his front porch step.

“I have to go to work today, so Julia is going to spend the day with you.” I nod my head and suddenly feel bad that I’ve been keeping him from his work. That was never my intention.

“Call me when she leaves and I will come straight back,” he tells me.

“I’ll be fine. You have work to do. You don’t have to worry about me, go and do your job,” I say smiling up at him.

“I do have to worry about you. I’m afraid to come home and afraid of what I’ll find. Please call me if it gets to be too much,” he says, placing his hands on either side of my face. I don’t say or do anything because I don’t know what he expects. Doesn’t he understand that it was the only way the thoughts will leave my head?

“Julia has my number, obviously,” he says looking to her eager face. I smirk at her. “But, if it gets bad, please call me.” This time I nod and he lets go of my face with a huff. I don’t watch as he walks away. I turn and walk straight to Julia, into her open arms which close around and cuddle me.