CHAPTER ONE
Present Day
“Promise?” I looked into his rich, emerald eyes—those eyes that always had a way of making me feel at home.
“Promise.” He beamed at me and squeezed my hands as we secured the love-lock onto the bridge railing and locked it in place.
He pulled me into his arms and whispered in my ear, “You’re my best friend, Clo. You won’t ever have to worry about being alone. I promise that I’ll always be here for you when you need me.”
A splendid mixture of bliss and comfort spread through me like a warm blanket on a cold day as I sank into his inviting embrace. Despite everything that’d happened in my life, I felt hopeful. Because I knew that no matter what the future held for me, Jackson would always be there. And for me, that was enough.
“Here’s to your thirtieth birthday,” he said playfully as he finally pulled away.
“And yours too,” I added.
“Well, not exactly.” He paused and grinned—that same boyish grin from the first day we met, the same boyish grin I’d come to know so well in the past eleven years, the same boyish grin that made my heart soar with happiness.
“What do you mean?” I feigned a frown, knowing too well he was being a smart-ass.
“Well, seeing as I’m eight months older than you, our pact won’t start when I turn thirty.” He chuckled smugly. “So I’m rooting for your thirtieth.”
“Jax.”
The sound of my own voice woke me from my dream. My eyelids felt heavy as I tried to open them and keep them open, battling against the inviting weight of sleep. Finally, I gave in and closed my eyes again, a part of me hoping I’d drift back into that memory from years ago, a memory that seemed as vivid as if it’d happened just yesterday.
But it was too late. The dream was gone. I couldn’t return back to that moment in time—back to that moment with him.
I opened my eyes, drawing in a long inhale of breath as reality set in. Today was my thirtieth birthday. The big 3-0! I’d always thought that when this day finally came, I’d somehow feel different. I thought that this day would feel meaningful, that somehow a magical switch would turn on inside me and I’d have it all figured it.
I was wrong. I didn’t feel any different this morning than I had the night before. Nothing had changed. I was still working at my boring administrative assistant job at a law firm, living in a tiny studio apartment in a shitty neighborhood in downtown Los Angeles, and getting by, paycheck to paycheck. This wasn’t how I had envisioned my life to be at thirty. Because he isn’t in it, a tiny voice said inside.
Feeling a bit frustrated with myself, I kicked off the comforter and walked to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face.
“You’re being ridiculous, Chloe,” I said out loud to the reflection that stared back at me from the mirror above the sink. “You’re overreacting. You don’t have a miserable life. In fact, it’s pretty damn good. You just had a weird dream and now you’re being irrationally nostalgic.” I splashed some more water against my face, trying to wake myself up so I could think clearly. Drawing a deep, labored breath, I looked back into the mirror and spoke again, but this time I spoke as if I were trying to persuade someone off a ledge. “That’s all in the past. You can’t change it. You can’t. The only thing you can do is move forward. You have a lot to look forward to.”
I grabbed a towel and patted off the water from my face. “You’re right,” I responded back to my reflection and flashed a resolute smile. “I have so much to be happy about. I’m thirty and I have a wonderful boyfriend who makes me happy and takes care of me.”
Just then, as if in support of my positive thinking, my phone started ringing. It was Carly.
“And I have a new best friend, and here she is now.”
Feeling a lot better than moments ago, I grabbed my phone and answered it.
“Hi, Carly,” I said cheerfully.
Before I could stop here, Carly’s musically-challenged voice came through the phone as she sang me “Happy Birthday” off-key with such confidence, you’d think that was how all people sang the song if you hadn’t known any better.
I burst into a fit of laughter. “Thanks for that. I really needed a good laugh this morning.”
“Hey, everyone loves my incredible off-pitch renditions of songs. I’m simply giving them the Carly-twist.” I could hear the humor in her voice as she pretended to sound serious.
“And I, for one, love the Carly-twist,” I played along.
“Well naturally,” she said sarcastically in her diva voice.