Prince of Wolves (The Grey Wolves #1)(42)

Chapter 30
Fane pulled Jacquelyn closer to him as he held her in her bed. The night had gone so quickly and he refused to close his eyes knowing that in the morning she would leave and he would not be able to hold her again until after the challenge. Her scent swirled in the air around him, her heart beat in rhythm to his own. Mine, his wolf told him. Yes, he agreed, she is ours. Not realizing it, he began to hum the same song he had been humming for the past two days. 
“What song is that?” he heard Jacquelyn ask.
“You’re going to laugh at me if I tell you,” he told her, grinning to himself
“Why would I laugh at you?”
“It’s a song by Willie Nelson and Kimmie Rhodes. Yes, I’m Romanian, I’m a werewolf, and I like Willie Nelson,” Fane said, sounding forlorn.
“Well, admitting it is half the battle,” Jacquelyn teased.
“It’s a song that makes me think of you, of us.”
“Will you sing it to me?” she asked.
“Only if you don’t laugh,” Fane agreed.
Jacquelyn didn’t say anything in response and Fane took that as his cue. So he began to sing to her.
“Put your arms around me,
Listen to my heart beat now.
If you want to love me,
Baby, I can show you how.
Love me like a song,
Sweet as a melody,
Learn all the words to me,
And sing along.
Find the harmony
The rhythm and the rhyme to me,
On and on,
All night long,
Love me like a song
I want to be the melody,
You can’t get out of your head.
Think of me as words of love,
A poet might have said and,
Love me like a song,
Sweet as a melody,
Learn all the words to me,
And sing along,
Find the harmony,
The rhythm and the rhyme to me,
On and on,
All night long,
Love me like a song.”
Jacquelyn had rolled over to face him and was watching him, tears streaming down her face.
“That was beautiful. Your voice is absolutely beautiful. Thank you,” she blubbered on and cried even harder.
Fane pulled her tightly to him and kissed her forehead. In between kisses he whispered to her, “Un pretios (precious one), dragostea mea (my love), va rog sa nu strige (please do not cry).”
But Jacquelyn continued to cry and it just seemed to get worse. “I don’t know what on freaking earth you are saying, I just know that it isn’t supposed to happen like this. You’re not supposed to meet the love of your life only to have them have to go fight some delusional werewolf, with the possibility of him dying. Dammit, it’s not supposed to happen like this.” She sobbed and sobbed.
Fane felt the tears that had been hiding in his eyes finally spill over, he could feel the wetness run down his flushed cheeks. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to fix it or make her feel better. So he decided to just be honest.
“I’m scared,” he whispered. “I’m so scared. What if I lose? What if the other wolves attack and my father and the Pack aren’t able to protect you? What if I lose you? I can’t lose you, it would kill me. I don’t want you there tomorrow, because at least if you aren’t there they can’t hurt you,” Fane told her as he let the tears fall, completely unashamed. This was his mate. He had only just found her, he loved her, he treasured her, and he would do anything to protect her.
Jacquelyn looked up at him. She took her hand and wiped away his tears. Leaning forward, she kissed each eye. For a moment they just looked at each other, as if to memorize each other’s face.“I’m scared, too,” Jacquelyn told him. “If I could fight Lucas for you, I would. I don’t want to see you hurt. I can’t even begin to think of seeing you die. How am I going to do this tomorrow, Fane? I’m so scared that we won’t have all the things I’ve imagined having with you.”
At those words, Fane couldn’t help the images that ran through his thoughts and he heard Jacquelyn weep as she watched them in her mind.
Fane and her at the bonding ceremony, with their family all around them. Then Fane and her in a room alone, one of his hands cradling her head, the other resting on her waist, him leaning down and biting her neck to complete the blood rites.
Jacquelyn shook with sobs as she continued to see his thoughts. She and Fane were walking through a beautiful house, hand in hand, then they were wrapped in each others arms, tangled in bed sheets with passion in their eyes. Then Jacquelyn was in a hospital bed, Fane was holding her hand, her belly was swollen with child. Next she saw Fane rocking a baby to sleep as Jacquelyn sat watching. Then they were wrapped in each other's arms, laughing, kissing, touching, loving.
Fane’s shoulders shook as he wept, crying over what might never come to be.
“I’m sorry, Luna. I shouldn’t have let you see all that. When you mentioned thinking of all we could have, it made me think of the things I too have dreamt about having with you.”
The next thing Fane heard was a whisper so soft he almost missed it.
“Fane, make love to me,” Jacquelyn said, almost too soft for even wolf ears to hear.
Fane froze. This was the rock and a hard place no man wants to get into with a woman. If he says no then he’s rejecting her and she will be embarrassed. If he says yes, then he’s a jerk because he’s taking advantage of her vulnerability. Jacquelyn would not have asked this of him if it were just another night, and he would not make love to her until she asked him when there was no threat to any lives and nothing was creating passion that might not be as fervent as it seemed at that moment. Now, how exactly do you word that to a seventeen year old female who already has self-esteem issues? Good luck with that, Fane, he thought.
“Jacquelyn, look at me,” Fane told her. “I want to make love to you, are we clear on that part?” he asked her.
“Yes, we’re clear. There’s a 'but' coming on, isn’t there?” she asked.
“We are both really emotional right now. I don’t want you to do something that you will regret tomorrow night after the challenge. If I win, and I plan to, you will be sad that we didn’t wait. I want the first time to be special and perfect for both of us. Please don’t think I’m rejecting you, because you have absolutely no idea how hard it is to say no to you,” he told her honestly. 
“Wow, I’m impressed,” Jacquelyn said, wiping away what was left of the tears on her cheeks.
“Are you mad at me?” Fane asked cautiously.
“No, I’m not. I’m a little embarrassed 'cause you know how awkward I am when it comes to the whole physical aspect of a relationship,” she told him.
“Why are you embarrassed by it? You do realize that it will be fun, right?” Fane asked her, grinning widely.
“Why do you like to say stuff like that knowing it’s going to make me blush?”
“Because it’s cute,” Fane told her honestly. “I won’t make love to you, Luna, but since we are both awake I will most definitely take advantage of your beautiful lips,” Fane said just before he wrapped an arm around her and flipped her onto her back. Jacquelyn squealed and laughed as Fane leaned over her. He bent down and gently kissed her lips. Jacquelyn wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him towards her. He rumbled in his chest at her boldness. Fane’s left hand was cradling Jacquelyn’s head while his right hand was gradually rubbing her thigh, moving slowly up to her waist. Fane was quite proud of himself for telling Jacquelyn he would not consummate their relationship, but as he lay there in her arms, feeling her lips on his, their bodies pressed close, he hoped she wouldn’t make him wait too long after the bonding. She will probably want a human wedding first. He growled at that thought. It was probably going to be awhile before they mated. In that case, he better slow down. He eased off her just a bit and pulled back from her lips. They were both breathing hard.
“Is something wrong?” Jacquelyn asked him, looking very worried.
“No, everything is very right. I just need to slow down a little, my honor only goes so far. Wolf or not, I’m still a guy and you are a very fine girl,” Fane told her with no shame.
“Oh, I see. You were getting all worked up, only to realize all worked up is all there is. Am I right?”
“Yes, Luna, you are brutally right. Can I be brutally blunt?” he asked her.
“By all means,” she answered.
“At what point do you plan to make the same offer?”
Jacquelyn laughed at that. “You’re worried about how long it’s going to be before we do the deed?”
“Well, since you put it so eloquently, yes, that is what I’m asking,” Fane answered and actually looked embarrassed.
“I want to be married first.” Jacquelyn held up her hand to keep Fane from saying whatever was fixing to leave his lips. “Married in the traditional way, not just the werewolf bonding thingy,” she explained.
“You do realize that our werewolf bonding thingy is more binding than your human marriage, right?” Fane told her smugly.
“That may be, my little fur ball, but I still want our relationship recognized in the eyes of normal people as legit, got it?”
Fane grinned at her. “As you wish, Luna.”
“That’s what I like to hear, wolf-man,” Jacquelyn told him as she yawned.
“Try to get some sleep, love. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow,” Fane told her and kissed her on the head.