Pretend You're Mine(88)

“So,” she said.

“So,” Sophie echoed.

Lola gave up the game of chase and rolled onto her back in the grass next to the patio.

“He told you?”

“Nope.”

Sophie swore. “My brother the idiot. He should have told you.”

“Agreed. So why didn’t he?” Harper pulled a leg up on the bench and rested her chin on her knee.

“You’ve met Luke. He doesn’t talk. He’s always been that way — private, quiet — to some extent. But after the accident, he shut down. I’ve never heard him say her name since then. It’s almost like he wants to pretend she never existed, but maybe he just wants to be alone with his pain.”

“Were you and Karen close?”

Sophie nodded. “We weren’t best friends or anything, more like family. Our personalities were different. She was very pragmatic and calm. Kind of stoic. But she was warm and solid. We got along well. She and Luke were together for so long, she was family before she was officially family.”

Harper nodded.

“I saw the wedding pictures.”

“He kept them?” Sophie straightened. “I wondered. After the funeral, I left Luke alone for a few days. When I went to see him the whole place was packed up. He moved in here shortly after. But I never saw a hint of Karen or their life together.”

“It’s all in the basement. He boxed it up, built walls around it, and locked the door.”

Sophie put her chin in her hands and peered down at her tea. “Have anything stronger?”

Harper went inside and returned with a bottle of Jack Daniels and two cans of Coke. “How’s this?”

“Perfect.” Leaving the ice, Sophie drained the tea out of her glass onto the ground. She repeated the process with Harper’s glass before cracking open the bottle.

“So how do you feel about all this?”

“I think I’m feeling every feeling in the world right now. I don’t even know what makes sense to feel at this point. I’m devastated for him. I can’t imagine a loss of that magnitude, especially in that situation.”

She sighed heavily. “But I’m also mad or disappointed or maybe scared that he tried to keep this all to himself. I mean, it wasn’t just him who lost her. It was all of you. And then to top off everything else with some self-centeredness, I feel selfishly sad that Luke is the love of my life, but he’s already had that with someone else. Someone who is so sacred to him he can’t talk about her.”

Harper took a deep gulp of her drink and choked. “Did you forget to add the Coke?”

Sophie laughed. “This is a Jack and Jack with a teeny layer of Coke.”

“So I know what happened,” she said, using air quotes. “But could you tell me what happened? Is that okay?”

Sophie nodded. “I think you need to know. It’s well past time that Luke should be allowed to carry around secrets and hide from us all. I’m sorry you’re hearing it from me and not him.”

She stared off into the night sky. “The plan was Karen was going to meet me, my parents, and Joni — her mom — at the drop-off about half an hour before Luke’s bus came in. Ty was working, and at the time, we were broken up. Karen was bringing the welcome home sign. I had a bunch of helium balloons in the back seat of my car. She was a stickler for being early, so when she didn’t show I got nervous. I heard the sirens and knew something was wrong. Just this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“The bus was pulling into the lot and my phone starts ringing. It’s Ty. He was on the scene. He told me she was dead. I just kind of collapsed onto the pavement. Ty is talking in my ear, but all I hear is blood rushing to my head. Mom is trying to pull me up. Thinks I’m having some kind of seizure or something.

“And then Luke gets off the bus. He’s got a mile-wide grin on his face until he locks eyes with me.” Sophie took a steadying breath as tears welled up.

“I swear to God, he just looked at me and knew. He started shaking his head and running. I was just hysterical and crying. He grabbed me by the shoulders. Ty was still on the phone. And all I could say to Luke was ‘Karen’ and I handed him the phone.”

Harper reached a hand across the table and laid it on Sophie’s. “I’m so, so sorry, Soph.”

“I will never forget his eyes when he heard the words. The light died right out of them and I just kept thinking he would never be the same after this.

“I think that’s why we let him get away with locking himself up and keeping us at arm’s length. His life was destroyed in front of us and we’re just so grateful we still have him. I think they were thinking about starting a family. They kept it pretty hush-hush, but I had a feeling that they’d start ‘trying’ when he was home again.”