Pretend You're Mine(119)
“It’s no trouble. But there may be some people worried about you.”
Harper shook her head and cleared her throat. “I just can’t. Not yet.”
“Is there anyone you want me to contact? Just to tell they you’re all right?”
Harper started to shake her head. “I don’t know. I feel like everyone here belongs to him and I don’t want to complicate that for him. I don’t want him to think that I’m trying to ...”
“Turn everyone against him for being an idiot?” Joni supplied helpfully.
“Yeah, that. Pretty much exactly that.” Harper managed a shaky laugh. “I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to choose because this is his home and I’m just ... passing through.” She couldn’t stop the tears this time.
Joni took the tea from her and handed her a fresh box of tissues. “Don’t ever think of the relationships you’ve built here as just ‘passing through.’ Benevolence belongs to you just as much as anyone else, and we’re all lucky to have you here.”
“I just love him so much,” Harper sniffled.
“I know you do, sweetie.”
“And I’m so sorry for bringing all of this into your house. It can’t be easy on you dealing with me, when it’s Karen who loved him first. And the only reason I’m here is because she isn’t.” She buried her face in her crumpled tissue.
Joni’s eyebrows shot up. “Harper Wilde. I’m surprised at you. Don’t you see it? Karen brought you here for Luke. You are exactly what he needs to get him to start living life again.” She fingered the fine stitches on a bright blue quilt patch. “If there’s anything that would infuriate my daughter, it would be watching the people she loved refusing to live and love again. I was doing the same thing. Hiding behind blame and guilt just trying to hold on to what was. And in doing so, I missed too many years of what is. But that’s all changing now. I’m not going to hide anymore. And eventually, neither will Luke.”
Harper nodded, but she knew she would be long gone before then. She would be in another job in another town far away. She would have another casual circle of friends who never could quite fill the hole in her heart where family should be.
Maybe it was her destiny to always be a little bit lonely. To always be hungry for love.
“You’re exhausted, you poor thing. You just rest and sleep and we’ll talk again in the morning.”
Harper nodded, her shoulders slumped.
“How about I let Gloria know you’re here? Then no one will worry, okay?”
She reached for the tea and cupped it in her cold hands. “Okay. Please tell her that I’ll talk to her later when I’m ... ready.”
“You take all the time you need. You’re welcome here for as long as you want to stay.”
Harper’s eyes welled with tears. “Thank you, Joni,” she whispered.
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
After three days, Harper vowed that she was done crying. She wasn’t done hurting, but her body had wrung out every drop of water through her eyes and was now barely functioning on dehydration.
It was time to get up.
She dragged herself out of the sunny cocoon of Karen’s bedroom and into the bathroom where she did her best to shower off the grief.
She wiped a hand through the steam in the mirror and stared into hollow gray eyes. “Just keep moving,” she whispered.
Back in the room, she rummaged through her bag and pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt before padding barefoot downstairs. Sophie and Gloria had visited her the day before and brought her more clothes. Harper didn’t even want to imagine how Sophie’s conversation with Luke went.
Her head ached, as did her heart. But she was on her feet. She would survive this. Somehow.
She found a note from Joni on the counter.
Running errands. If you’re reading this please eat! Sandwich fixings in fridge. Ice cream in freezer.
She ignored the suggestion of food and instead grabbed a glass of water before sitting down at the dining table with her phone. Time to rejoin the world.
Her voicemail was full and a scan of the numbers in her call log indicated that Sophie had done most of the blowing up.
Another handful from Gloria, several from work, and a few from Aldo, Beth, James, Claire, and Hannah, who likely had no idea what was happening. There were even two from Angry Frank.
She added a layer of guilt to everything else she was feeling. It had been selfish of her to shut down and shut out. She had worried her friends needlessly and owed them better than that.
She would make up for it.
Starting with the night she left, there were two messages a day from him. She wasn’t ready to hear his voice or his “I’m sorry, but this is the way it has to be” reasoning, so she archived them and listened to the rest.