Pregnant by Morning(64)
“What do you want? Did you come loaded down with a ring and a fancy marriage proposal?”
The pain in her voice tried and convicted him. He’d hurt her, and saying the right thing wasn’t nearly enough to make up for it.
“No.” He’d gone against the very fiber of his being and come here empty-handed. “This time we’re doing things according to your schedule. I’ll follow you wherever you go, whether we’ve got a piece of paper calling us husband and wife or not. I will never again utter the word marriage until you flat out say that’s what you want.”
“Your mother will be upset.”
Obviously Mama had treated Evangeline to an earful of the Fran Wheeler Sermon on the Merits of Marriage. Hopefully it hadn’t stacked up Evangeline’s disfavor against him any higher.
“She’ll get over it. This is about us and what we want.”
“And you don’t want to marry me.”
“On the contrary. Nothing would make me happier than to claim you as my wife before God and everybody. But it’s your choice. Our relationship will be how you define it.”
Amber had been his wife; that role fit her and what they’d shared. Evangeline was something else and fit the man he was now. The harder he tried to pin her down, the harder she’d flap her wings to escape. And he wanted her to be free to fly, as long as she waited for him to catch up.
A shrewd glint in her eye set off a frisson of nerves. “What if I wanted to live in Dallas? What would you say?”
“I’d say who are you, and what have you done with the woman I love?”
Her gravelly laugh clawed through his stomach with heat he’d missed. “My name is Evangeline La Fleur. And your name is?”
The best question of all and the easiest to answer. “Matt. My name is Matt.”
“Nice to meet you, Matt.” She shook his hand solemnly. “That’s a nice name. I like it. You know the funny thing about names? They change. You think you’re this person, the one the name refers to, and then all of a sudden, you have to redefine yourself.”
“And with it comes a new name,” he said.
That ripple of understanding passed between them, as strong as it had from the first. Finally, finally, the knot of tension at the base of his skull unwound, and he started to believe he’d leave the valley and crest the mountain with her by his side after all.
“So,” he continued. “I’m getting a picture in my head of you living in Dallas. What else should I add to this picture? Will you be living by yourself? Or might I convince you to stay with me?”
A deep smile spread across her face. “You’re pretty good at convincing me to stay. I’ll give you that. If I stay with you, do I get my own room?”
“Nope. The baby gets his or her own room, but you have to share with me, whether we have a marriage license or not. See, I don’t need a replacement wife, but I do need a lover. I seem to have an addiction to inventive positions. And locations, apparently, because I’m envisioning a very sturdy table in the kitchen. And maybe a screened-in porch. A large shower is a must, as well. Sound like something you might consider?”
Say yes. He’d be happy to throw in some begging if it turned the tide.
She shook her head. “You’re crazy. I like that.”
Crazy. Yes, he was. But only because he’d fallen in love with a woman who allowed him to be and feel and do whatever he wanted.
“Please tell me I haven’t totally screwed up things between us. I’m open to discussion on how we’ll raise the baby, and I don’t care where we live. We can stay here in Venice if you want. I love you and want to be with you the rest of my life, wherever you are, whether we have a marriage license or not.”
Her eyes grew misty. “That was the most romantic nonproposal I’ve ever heard.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Not yet. I wasn’t done with my apology. I’m sorry I was so stubborn. Before. I never should have tried to force you to heal my way or discounted the idea of living where you wanted to. I’ve been pretty selfish for a long time, excusing it because I’d lost something important. Important, but not crucial. I can’t sing but I haven’t lost my voice.”
“Of course you haven’t. You’re my voice. You articulate the things in my soul far better than I could.”
“Geez.” Her lids flew closed and she swallowed heavily. When she met his gaze once more, the powerful connection swept through him again. “I was already going to say yes. But if you want to say some more romantic things, I’m all ears.”
His heart took flight. “You were? What swayed you, the sturdy kitchen table or me finally gathering enough wits to tell you I love you?”