Pieces of You(78)

“I told you I left something for you in my apartment, but you never came.”

“I was hurt.” I can barely speak the words as the knot in my throat swells.

He nods and I take this as my signal to leave, but I don’t want to go. We stand in silence for a moment before he comes to me. He stops right in front of me and I draw in a long, stuttered breath. He reaches up and I close my eyes as he wipes the tears from my cheeks with the back of his fingers.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you.” I open my eyes and his eyes roam over every feature of my face. “You can stay here. I’m going for a drive.”

“Please don’t go.”

“I have to.”

He squeezes past me and I resist the urge to grab onto him in desperation. I don’t watch as he leaves, but I can hear the front door as it closes.





Chapter Thirty-Eight





Chris




TRISTAN KICKS MY FOOT TO get my attention and I look up from my guitar. “What?”

Tristan is the classic brooding musician, which is why girls can’t resist him. He’s the one who always sits in the corner at parties with a beer in his hand and a scowl on his face. He’s only ever shared one song he wrote with me. He’s secretive as hell; even more than Claire. But this is one of Tristan’s best qualities. He’s extremely loyal. He’ll never blab my secrets to anyone, which is why I still can’t figure out why I haven’t told him about what’s going on between Claire and me. It probably has to do with the fact that I’ve always felt like Tristan had a thing for Claire before we broke up.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you strung out on Claire again?”

I shake my head as I try to also shake the feeling that Claire is being pulled further away from me by the second. It doesn’t feel like there’s just physical distance between us right now.

I thought I knew Claire until two months ago when I realized she was in love with a guy she had known less than a month. It took me nearly a year to break down her walls. Before we broke up, I wouldn’t think anything of it if she told me she was going to spend the night next door to her ex-boyfriend’s apartment. But Claire is not the same person she was before we broke up.

“Don’t talk about Claire like she’s any other fucking girl.”

Tristan raises an eyebrow at me. He’s not used to Claire and me being back together so I’ll let this slide, though I’m feeling unreasonably angry right now.

He sighs before he leans back on the sofa. “I don’t know what the deal is, but the answer is always call her. Girls love that shit. Whenever something is fucked up or uncertain, all it takes is a fucking phone call to fix it.”

I don’t want to hear him compare Claire to the chicks he fucks so I grab one of my crutches and head for the garage with my guitar. He doesn’t ask where I’m going because he probably assumes I’m taking his advice, and he’s right.

I flip the light switch inside the garage and feel a pang of longing when I see the empty space where my bike used to be parked. It seems like everything in my life has gone to shit the past couple of months. Only the past week have things finally begun to turn around—and now this.

I sit on the concrete steps that lead down from the house into the garage, lay my guitar in my lap, and call Claire. She said she would call me when she went to sleep. It’s not even eight yet, but I don’t want to wait anymore.

“Hello.”

Her voice is thick and raspy, like she’s been crying.

“Claire, babe, where are you?”

She lets out a soft whimper and I know I’m too late.

“Chris.”

“Babe, just come home and we can talk about it.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. I promise whatever happened we can work it out.” Her sobs come suddenly and like fucking shotgun blasts to my heart. “Claire, we’ve been through worse. I don’t want to fucking lose you again. Just come home.”

I had planned to tell her about the fact that Abby’s parents have decided they don’t want to proceed with the open adoption when I saw her this weekend. I couldn’t bear to break this news to her over the phone. I was actually a little relieved when she said she wasn’t coming over because I was dreading breaking her heart. I should be angry enough to try to hurt her with this news right now, but I can’t. Claire and I have been through enough heartache this past year to ever deliberately hurt each other.

“I know you’re feeling confused right now, but that’s okay,” I begin. I take a deep breath before I continue with the one thing I hope can bring her back. “I want you to know that no matter what, I will always love you and this will always be your home. No matter what happens between us, please don’t forget my mom.”