Pieces of You(49)
“I have to be here to see this adoption thing through.”
“And Claire?”
“She’s already starting to shut me out again. If I leave her she’s going to think that nothing’s changed and that I’ll always choose music over her. I can’t do that to her again.”
Xander closes his eyes as he leans back in his leather desk chair. “You may lose the deal if you do this.”
“I’ll take full responsibility. I’ll give you your portion right now if you want. I just need some time to work things out with Claire and Abby.”
This is the first time I’ve called her Abby aloud and it catches me by surprise. I kept hearing Brian and Lynette call her Abby and I kept wishing I had that kind of familiarity with her. That level of comfort. Something happened when I touched her soft fingers and she latched onto me. I will never be the same and I haven’t been able to think of anything else for three weeks.
Tasha relayed the information that Abby is healing well and should make a full recovery from the gaping hole in her heart. I wish I could say the same for Claire and me.
Xander opens his eyes and looks at me. “I don’t understand throwing away ten years of hard work for a long shot. You’ve worked hard for this, Christopher, and you’re crazy if you don’t think you deserve it just because you left Claire last year. Isn’t she the one who broke up with you?”
“She broke up with me so I could do the shit I’ve been doing for the past year. She made me who I am. I can’t thank her for that by abandoning her when she needs me most. Right now, she needs me more than I need a second hit album.”
Xander shakes his head with disappointment. “You know I love Claire, but I don’t like this one bit. You’re going to lose a lot of momentum if you hold off on this album for personal reasons. The release date has been circulating for weeks. Everybody’s expecting it early Summer. If you skip the trip to L.A., there is no way you’ll get it done by then.” He stares me in the eye for a moment before he continues. “Are you absolutely sure that this is what you want?”
“As sure as I am that you’re going to cry like a bitch when I leave this office.”
He shrugs. “I guess you’re pretty sure.”
His brow furrows and I don’t think he can hold the tears in much longer. “I promise I’ll work on the rest of the songs as much I can while I’m getting fondled by my physical therapist.”
I grab the crutches and chuckle as I leave Xander’s office, the sound of his sobs growing softer with each hop of my crutches. Cheryl scrambles to open both exit doors for me and I soon find myself back at the elevator, waiting. On the way down, I try to think of how I’m going to break the news to Claire. I can call her, but I’ll probably have to leave it as a voicemail message. I can text her, but that’s too impersonal. I have to see her, but that means asking someone to drive me to her dorm.
Why couldn’t I have broken my fucking left leg? I could drive with a broken left leg.
The elevator doors open onto the first floor lobby and I immediately spot my mom sitting on a cushy chair, her fingers moving furiously while her eyes are glued to her phone. I make my way to her and she looks up.
“Did Xander have a heart attack?” she asks.
“No, but he may need some extra happy pills or some chocolate cake tonight.”
She stands and I’m struck by how much I admire my mom for taking everything that’s happened with Claire and me in stride these past two months. It’s time to tell her everything.
As soon as I get myself settled into the passenger seat, I reach out to stop her from turning the key in the ignition. “Mom, I have something to tell you; something you may not like to hear, but I want you to keep in mind how much I love Claire—how much we love Claire. Okay?”
She looks at the dashboard in front of me instead of straight at me because she can sense I’m about to tell her something really bad.
“Christopher, if you tell me something that makes me upset with Claire, I’m going to take it out on you. I just got her back. Please don’t do this to me.”
I draw in a deep breath and let it out slowly as I contemplate this, but she needs to know. “Mom, Claire had a baby in April. She gave her up for adoption and Claire has been suffering with this secret for over a year.”
“A baby or your baby?”
“My baby. Her name is Abigail. I saw her for the first time three weeks ago and she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I got to hold her hand and I think… I don’t think I’ve ever loved anything more than I love this little girl who I don’t even know. Not even Claire or music.”